The Best 28 Welcome Back Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Welcome Back jokes. There are some welcome back jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these welcome back puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Welcome Back Jokes and Puns

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!

Then silence.

A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!

A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?

So President Trump wants to abolish the two term limit on the Presidency.

Welcome back President Obama we missed you.

People need to stop calling me "Karen" It's so offensive.

Me: That's fine we'll go back to what we used to call you.

Karen: Thanks....

Me: You're welcome, Bitch.

A woman adopted a foul-mouthed bird because he was so beautiful and she thought he could be retrained.

The shelter told her the bird lived in a whorehouse for the last decade. When her husband's car pulled in the drive, she dreaded what the bird would say to him. The bird looked at the husband and said, "Hi Phil, welcome back."

Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous

I see a lot of new faces today.


Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"

"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.

"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.

"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."

"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.

"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"

"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.

"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.

"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.

"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The damned dance is called the Twist!

Welcome back to /u/JokeExplainBot

I banned on a rule that we had enforced in the past. However, we talked the issue over and were able to reach common ground. Sorry for any trouble this caused.

/u/ElderCunningham

4 college students are having a great time on spring break.

So they decide to spend an extra week away from class. One of the students calls his professor, and says "prof, we are stuck in Daytona beach. We won't be able to make it back in time for exams because the tire on our car blew. We need to get it fixed before we head back".

The prof says "no problem. Your safety comes first. Do what you need to, and when you get back the four of you can write the exam at that point".

So the students live it up for another week. Drinking. Partying. Etcetera.

When they get back to school a week later, the prof welcomes them, sits them each in different rooms, and hands them the exam.

When they turn the page over to start writing, they find their exams have only one question: "which tire?"

A guy gets to Heaven and meets God for the first time...

God says, welcome my child. For living an exemplary life and following in my footsteps, I welcome you to Heaven and will answer one question for you. The answer to any of your life's mysteries that you desire.

The man ponders. He hurriedly thinks back on his life, wondering which answer he wants the most and not wanting to waste God's time, but he can't decide. He stares back at Him, unsure of what to say.

God says, don't worry my child, I am all knowing, so I already know what question you will ask.

The man, visibly relieved, exclaimed oh thank you! What is it?

That one. Enjoy eternity!

A man walks into a costume party

Wearing nothing but underwear, and with a girl wrapped to his back with silver tape.

A friend of his welcomes him and asks "So... What are you dressed as?"

"I'm a turtle", answers the guy.

"And who is this on your back?"

"Oh, that's just Michelle."

(Probably a repost, I know, but the joke is just too good)

Can you explain the difference between a noun and a verb?

"Hump" is a noun meaning "something on the back of a camel"... unless that thing is another camel, in which case, it's a verb.

You're welcome.

You can explore welcome back reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean welcome back dad jokes. There are also welcome back puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


At a cinima

a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was fingering herself furiously. He moved over to the seat next to her and offered his help. She welcomed his help, and so he started fingering her like crazy. After awhile he got tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands. "Wasn't I good enough?" he asked. "Great," she said, "but these crabs are still itching!"

Harry Potter wakes up in hospital.

"Welcome back. You've been in a coma for 8 years" says the doctor.
"What happened?" asked Harry
"You ran face first into a wall."

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

Nice pigs sir

A Secret Service agent is standing at the bottom of the stairs as President Clinton is leaving Air Force One, and can't help but notice that the President has a pig under each arm.

The Agent salutes and says, "Welcome back, Mr. President. Nice pigs, sir."

Clinton smiles and says, "These aren't pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got this one for Hillary, and I got this one for Chelsea."

The Agent says, "Good trade, sir."

It's the first day of high school...

...and the principal is giving an orientation to the freshmen class. He says "Welcome to high school! We have a few rules we must go over. First, men will use the men's locker room, and women will use the women's locker room. If anyone is caught in the other gender's locker room, it is a $20 dollar fine for a first offense, $30 for a second offense, $40 for a third, and so on. Any questions?"
A kid in the back stands up and asks "How much for a season pass?"

Apparently I was mistaken about the meaning of "gender-fluid"

And I'm not welcome back at that support group ever again.

An American, a Chinese and an Indian went on a world tour by Air.

The American proudly declared "we have reached my homeland USA" pointing at the Statue of Liberty.

After some hours, the Chinese pointed at the Great Wall of China and exclaimed "friends, we have reached China".

More hours went by and all eyes were on the Indian. He calmly opened the window and put his hand outside. When he pulled his arm back, his wristwatch was gone. Unconcerned, he announced "Guys, welcome to India."

A dad joke is just a pair of back to back sentences.

Welcome to the punitentiary.


A man orders a coffee in a cafe.

When it arrives, he drinks and promptly spits out his first sip.
'Waiter!' he calls,'this coffee tastes like it's a day old.'
'Thank you sir,' is the reply,'it's yesterdays coffee.'
The man gives the coffee back to the waiter and says: 'thank you for your honesty. I'd really like to drink today's coffee.'
Taking the coffee, the waiter says: 'we open at 10AM tomorrow, you're welcome to drop by then!'

Welcome to the 2018 Golden Globes

Where Hollywood will pat itself on the back and several men will pat Hollywood on the front

A man took his dog to the vet...

A man took his dog to the vet. "Doctor" he said sadly "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail". The vet stepped back "Why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome".

Literal People Anonymous

Welcome to Literal People Anonymous, would everyone please take a seat. NO, WAIT! BRING THOSE CHAIRS BACK!

Michigan is the First State to Welcome Back Sub-$1 Gas

Just flip on your water faucet and you'll get it for free

Welcome back

My name isn't Back, it's Dad, gosh

"Welcome back, happy New Year!"

"Thank you!"

"Welcome!"

And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends.

Welcome to Utah: set your watch back 20 years.

Yo momma so fat when she turned around we gave her a Welcome Back Party.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the welcome back jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working welcome back piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes