Weirdest Jokes
43 weirdest jokes and hilarious weirdest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weirdest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for something to make you laugh? Check out this list of weirdest, coolest, grossest, and funniest jokes. Complete with GIFs, these inside jokes are sure to give you a giggle.
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Funniest Weirdest Short Jokes
Short weirdest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weirdest humour may include short strangest jokes also.
- My girlfriend has the weirdest way to start a conversation with me.. „Were you even listening to me?!
- My wife starts conersations in the weirdest way..... "You weren't even listening were you?"
- I just got kicked out of the weirdest gender reveal party.. Apparently we had to wear pants...
- So, I delivered a baby today... Easily my weirdest day at FedEx.
I'm joking, of course.
I work for UPS. - The weirdest part about my colonoscopy was the doctor telling me that I'd feel a bit of pressure, but both of his hands were on my shoulders.
- I listened to a speech from Trump this morning apologizing for his wrongdoings and taking responsibility... That was the weirdest dream ever, man.
- Covid made me lose complete control of my arms. It's the weirdest side effect I've heard of, hands down.
- A restaurant accidentally served me the weirdest talking steak. "I'm not beef," it confessed. It was an honest moose steak.
- People whose jobs require them to enter someone else's house, such as plumbers and electricians, what is the weirdest thing you've seen at a customer's house? My wife.
- A guy behind me just pulled out a gun. This must be the weirdest prostate exam he's ever done.
Share These Weirdest Jokes With Friends
Weirdest One Liners
Which weirdest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with weirdest? I can suggest the ones about craziest and bizarre.
- My daughter says the weirdest things. Like "where are my real parents?"
- A nightclub near me won an award for "The weirdest entry policy" Which is no small feat.
- Weirdest Flex Sometimes I pronounce L's just to flex on Asians.
- It felt so real I had the weirdest dream last night that I was sleeping.
- Spending Valentines Day with my parents. Weirdest 3-way ever.
- I met Shrek in a swamp, it was one of the weirdest moment of my life Glad that's ogre
- Who's the weirdest X-men? Caitlyn Jenner
- I just saw a guy bicep curling. It's the weirdest ice sport I've ever seen.
- Why are hot dogs the weirdest dogs? Because most of them are i**....
- I was friends with h**... in middle school But that dude have the weirdest high fives
Fun-Filled Weirdest Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about weirdest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean most unexpected jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weirdest pranks.
Two engineers are meeting for lunch
Two engineers are meeting for lunch. The second arrives on a bicycle that the first doesn't recognize.
"Where did you get the bike? " the first asks.
The second explained, "It was the weirdest thing. I was walking over here when a beautiful woman rode up on the bike, hopped off, tore off all her clothes and said 'take what you want!' So I took the bike."
"Good call," mused the first, "the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
What time is it?
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Castration
This American guy was sharing his African adventures with his buddies where he had spent a few weeks.One of his buddies asked him what was the weirdest things he witnessed over there.
He replied, in Africa,they castrate the bulls by busting their balls by smashing them together with a BRICK in each hand.
His friend said ouch,that must be quite painful.
He replied,nah not really,unless you are careless and you smash your thumbs.
A wife woke up one morning after a long restful sleep......
She stretches, and turns to her husband and says, you know, I had the weirdest dream! I dreamt that you gave me a diamond necklace! What do you think my dream means?
The husband thoughtfully responds well, you'll know tonight!
Later that evening, the husband comes home with a tiny package for his wife. Here darling, for you! he says. Excited, the wife opens the package to see what it was.
She pulls out a book called Dream Interpretations and Meanings .
I was with my friend on a new bicycle
Bob: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it?
Me: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, dropped the bike, stripped n**... and said: "Take whatever you want big boy"
Bob: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.
A man is telling his friend about his latest conquest...
'It was the weirdest thing. I looked out my window last night and saw a woman tied to the train tracks'
'Woah,' replied his friend, 'did you save her?'
'Yeah, I went out, untied her, then made love to her all night long.'
'Sweet! Was she cute?'
'I don't know, I couldn't find her head.'
I had such a strange dream last night...
everything was reversed. Vegans were eating meat. Christians were having un-married s**.... Bodybuilders were fat and eating junk food. And the weirdest of all I was getting laid.
[Nsfw] This girl from Compton had the weirdest IG page. Turns out she was a real life Vampire!
She s**... all the bloods
My girlfriend came through the front door and moaned, "I had to walk home in the rain and now I'm really wet!"
I replied, "You get turned on by the weirdest s**...…"
Three guys were camping together
And they all had to share a tent, sleeping side by side.
They go to bed, and when they wake up, one of the guys said, I had the weirdest thing happen last night. I had my first w**... since I was a teenager.
Shocked, another one of the campers spoke up. You know what? I also had a w**... last night.
The last guy chimes in and says, you guys are lucky. In my dream, I was an Olympic skier.
I think the weirdest thing about being dyslexic
Is the look the barista gives you when you add to the spit jar. Like I'm not the one who put it there, Kenlynn, chill out.
Since I knew she was stressed, I invited my girlfriend over for a home cooked meal...
...but she wouldn't cook, weirdest thing.
I went to the pub and drank 10 beers...
When I finished them I ordererd 9 beers and drank them all. After that 8 then 7 and so on. The weirdest thing was; When I drank less beers, I became more drunk!
What's the weirdest thing you ever masterbated with?
A piece of ham.
I felt guilty so I went to my rabbi and confessed.
He told me "you're a Jewish boy you should have used a nice piece of brisket"
Blonde Jokes
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pull the pin and throw it back!
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Tuesday.
Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because they can't find the 11.
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Now your turn!
I had the weirdest experience.
I'm walking here and I say to myself "my gosh, that's Jimmy Petersen. I haven't seen him since I was nine". And I walked up to him and I slapped him on the back and I said "how's it going, you old rascal?" And he starts crying... And I say to myself, "wait a second, if that's Jimmy Petersen, he would have grown up too!" I mean, sure, now it's obvious...
Cr
My girlfriend has the weirdest way of ending the conversation with me...
She always says, "I wanted to tell you something.." and I take my cue to leave.
Show me your weirdest gif
I want to laugh. Bonus points for ones that I've never seen before
A brown, yellow and some white run into into a jar...
This was the weirdest doctors appointment ever, also I'm banned from my favourite bar for some reason.