Weir Jokes
72 weir jokes and hilarious weir puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weir that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Weir Short Jokes
Short weir jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weir humour may include short wick jokes also.
- I want to date a Chinese girl, an English girl, a Vietnamese girl, an Irish girl, and another Chinese girl. So I can tell people I dated Hu, Watt, Nguyen, Weir, and Wai.
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Howlingly Hilarious Weir Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about weir you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean waterfall jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weir pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Isn't it weird when sometimes you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear?
Anyway, my dad just caught me m**...
I've been having weird dreams lately...
I keep waking up in the middle of the night because of this one weird dream that im having... i dream that im a muffler.
Im exhausted.
(It's better when you actually say it but hey i tried)
I have a weird fungal infection on my foot...
I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me.
Everybody is a little weird, except you and I...
...and I'm not so sure about you.
That's weird
A man walks into a bar and orders a bottle of whisky and drinks it all. Tipsy, he now orders half a bottle of whisky. Drunk, he orders a glass of whisky. Heavily drunk and in a sorry state, he now orders half a glass of whisky. Then he says,
"That's weird. The less I drink the drunker I get"
Can't believe how weird my wife is.
Every time we have a conversation she always starts with:
- Did you hear what I just said?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a weird competition yesterday - The first person to successfully have i**... with them self wins.
So I entered myself.
I have a weird quirk when watching Star Wars
I wait for when someone is going to yell, "R2!" and yell out "Am not!"
You know what's weird?
I've never seen any femail boxes.
Weird how the Red Sox went so long without a World Series win after selling Babe Ruth to the Yankees
You'd think they'd have been more ruthless.
Weird Computer Error
UK.eu has unexpectedly stopped working
Weird Al and vin diesel should team up with a chip tune band
Then they could be Al, Vin & The Chip Monks
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know it's weird you add 'French' to anything and it makes it better: 'French cuisine', 'French toast', 'French kiss'...
The only exception is 'people.'
It's weird how we all sleep in different ways
It's weird how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his stomach and my ex sleeps with half of the football team. Strange.
I had a weird dream last night that I was eating huge marshmallows!
I woke up this morning wanting smore!
Went on a weird blind date
We met at a place downtown. My date introduced himself as Tim.
"So Tim, what do you do for a living?"
He hesitated for a second, "I work for the thought police."
I was clearly taken aback.
Tim: "Now, before you say anything...I know what you're thinking..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not all of the weird s**... stuff you hear about is as good as it's cracked up to be...
I mean you can tell me how great a**... asphyxiation is till you're blue in the face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it weird that the Jews killed Jesus?
They love prophets
It's weird to me that the shortened version of Charles is "Chuck".
I mean, what the Farles is that about?
The weird thing about men is that, as they get older the begin wearing their pants higher and higher.
My great-grandpa got so old he had to unzip just to talk to us!
Me: Do you think it's weird to talk to yourself?
Me: Nah
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's weird, sometimes s**... lasts for like 2 minutes.
And at other times it's over so fast.
There's this weird guy that keeps massaging people in my school
I don't know why but he rubs me the wrong way.
Which is the most weird moment?
That 2 second moment between Friday and Monday.
#weekends
Its weird how Ireland
is just one sea away from Iceland
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the weirdest thing you ever masterbated with?
A piece of ham.
I felt guilty so I went to my rabbi and confessed.
He told me "you're a Jewish boy you should have used a nice piece of brisket"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think it's way too weird that men these days want to be called "Daddy" in bed...
I don't call my dad "Daddy" when we have s**...
There is something weird about meteorites...
They always land in craters.
It's weird that they call it a baby shower.
A more accurate name would be a supplies party.
You know those weird cat-dog things in Undertale?...
I could never understand tem
It's weird it hurts when you accidentally bite on your tongue but when you do it on purpose it doesn't hurt
It's also weird your biting on your tongue now
I have this weird compulsion to stare at seaweed
I desperately need to see kelp
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Don't you think it's weird that Italian guy just backpacks through the countryside?"
"Nah, he's just a'roman"
The weird thing about the game Monopoly
Is that only one company can make it.
It's weird. When you are a kid you want to be an adult, but then when you are an adult all you want to do is be with kids
I mean be a kid...
It's weird Hollywood hates Trump
Considering Oscar is a tiny gold man that has historically overlooked minorities
It's weird how you see lots of elves and men in the LOTR trilogy, but Gimli is one of the only dwarves
Guess you could say he's the Tolkien minority
It's weird how people from the ghetto name their kids things they don't have or can't afford.
Mercedes, Crystal, Lexus, Diamond, Ruby, Love, Harmony, Hope...
The weirdest part about my colonoscopy was
the doctor telling me that I'd feel a bit of pressure, but both of his hands were on my shoulders.
A weird man with a weird condition
The man was never very good at anything.
He had no talents apart from his ability to notice things when he was drunk.
He decided to become a detective.
On his first day he came across a dead body , but he could not make head or tail of the situation.
So he proceeded to ask his colleague , Here's the dead body. Where's tequila ?
It's weird watching reruns of The Flintstones nowadays...
with their stone age drive-in movies and their caveman bowling... it just seems so... dated.
You know what's weird about the situation in Thailand?
The coach never taught the boys how to dive.
T'challa is so weird...
Like really Wakanda name is that?
I have a weird mental health issue where I have to get out and pull my car every time I go through a tunnel.
It's car-pull tunnel syndrome.
It's weird that I have health class in third period
Because they're just teaching us about what to do during first period.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a weird f**.... Buoyancy
But whatever floats my boat
I have this weird obsession with old memes...
Bottom Text
It really is weird it took so long for America to legalize gay marriage
Considering they have four fathers
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me: I know it's weird, but I like to tell dad jokes while I'm having s**...
She: Whatever you're into, handsome! ;)
Me: DAD! COME ON IN! SHE'S COOL!
Weird flex but not ok.
I snore too loud that scares my friends in the car I'm driving.
Weird Al walks into a bar
And makes a parody of it
I think the weirdest thing about being dyslexic
Is the look the barista gives you when you add to the spit jar. Like I'm not the one who put it there, Kenlynn, chill out.
"You have a weird last name!"
....is what she said to him. He replied,
"Well, it's pretty common in my family"
I have this weird problem where I can't understand metaphors, unless they are also ladder-related puns.
My psychologist keeps is trying to find some Holy Rail of a solution, but I'm pretty content to continue to sweep it under the rung.
I had the weirdest experience.
I'm walking here and I say to myself "my gosh, that's Jimmy Petersen. I haven't seen him since I was nine". And I walked up to him and I slapped him on the back and I said "how's it going, you old rascal?" And he starts crying... And I say to myself, "wait a second, if that's Jimmy Petersen, he would have grown up too!" I mean, sure, now it's obvious...
Cr
A weird order at the pet shop
A guy walks in a pet shop and says: "I want 2 rats, 7 mice, 190 spiders and a pound of flies."
The guy behind the bar lifts an eyebrow and aks: "You're an owner of snakes?"
"No" said the man. "I am moving and they asked to leave the house in the same state."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's something weird about my wife's third n**......
I just can't put my finger on it.
That weird middle eastern guy insisted on giving me a ride home
Iran
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think it's weird that county fairs are being cancelled.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's a *good* idea, but... I just figured that anyone who isn't afraid to hop onto a 60-year-old rusty roller coaster, that gets disassembled and reassembled 22 times a year by a traveling m**... head with an allen wrench, while eating a deep fried stick of butter, wouldn't give a c**... about Covid.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't you think it's weird...
Don't you think it's weird when Atheists call their kids Christian?
I think a better name would be Godfrey.
I'll see myself out.
Some weird German kid just gave me a gold coin.
Thanks for the gold, strange kinder!
It's weird how my friend quit her job and took out a loan to open an Etsy shop selling stickers, but whenever I ask how things are going it's just...
*Cricut sounds*
Sorry is a really weird word.
If a normal person says it, your anger is gone but if a doctor says it, you are gone.
Weird Pfizer vaccine side effect
I haven't made any sounds when I go to the bathroom since I got the shot.
Doctor said that with Pfizer, the p is silent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's So Weird
**Even if I unplug everything, my house still sounds like tinnitus.**
"i before e except after c"
weird rule
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This w**... in the bathroom tried talking to me while I was on the toilet.
Just because the stall door is open doesn't mean I'm here to chat. Jeez, have some boundaries dude.
It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays...
...they seem to be a dying breed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm weirdly turned on by songs with guest performers...
I might have a feat. f**...
Is it weird to lick a knife after your done using it?
Because the other surgeons looked at me in disgust today.
I'll tell you a weird story about a pig's behind, but...
I've got to warn you; it's a twisted tale.
(tail)
