Weight Room Jokes
19 weight room jokes and hilarious weight room puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weight room that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Weight Room Short Jokes
Short weight room jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weight room humour may include short weight lifting jokes also.
- My girlfriend has been gaining weight so I sat her down in the living room to talk to her. I said "We need to talk about the elephant in the room"
- I was talking to a fat girl about her weight... I was addressing the literal elephant in the room.
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Weight Room One Liners
Which weight room one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with weight room? I can suggest the ones about lifting weights and weight scale.
- The entrance to my room doubles as a weight. It's a dumbbell door.
- Honey, do you think I gained weight? No, I think the living room got smaller.
- What's the best feature of Weight Watchers girls? It's their fed room eyes.
Weight Room Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about weight room you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heavy lifting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weight room pranks.
Baked Beans.
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room.
Since he didn't want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The world's strongest weight lifter," and left it under his glass.
When he returned from making his pit stop, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said
"Thanks for the treat!" It was signed, "The world's fastest runner."
At my last annual check, my doctor suggested ...
At my last annual check, my doctor suggested that I should lose some weight and take the bike to work.
But, after a week I think it just takes too much room in the trunk.
A blonde gets a Fitbit for Christmas
Her friend tells her to always try to get to 10,000 steps a day to lose weight.
One night it's 11.30pm and her boyfriend hears footsteps downstairs. He goes down to find her walking around the living room backwards.
"What ARE you doing?" he asks.
"Melanie told me to do 10,000 steps a day - I was on 10,020!"
The Mandalorian visited the Dr
The Mandalorian visited the Dr and they got into an argument because Mando wouldn't take his armor off when he got on the scale. He pointed to the scale and said, "this is the weight." The know it all doctor pointed to the armor and said, "no this is the weight." The nurse was called to show Mando the way to the room so he could cool off. Mando asked how long it would take, she said they were behind today and if could be a while, and before he got angry again she looked him dead in the mask, and pointedly said, "this is the wait! I have spoken."
A friend came over to mine and my girlfriend's house.
As soon as we let him in, I could see by the shock in his eyes that he'd noticed my girlfriend's tremendous weight gain. He leant in and whispered to me, "What happened to her!? She must weigh about 7 tonnes!"
I just turned to him and shook my head vigorously in defiance.
I didn't want to talk about the elephant in the room.
A man goes to the doctor
A man goes to the doctor for a physical. He's called in to the exam room and sits on the table. The nurse comes in, takes his blood pressure, height, weight, and asks a few general health questions and scribbles answers on a form. The doctor comes in, holding the form. He looks at the man and says "Sir you have to stop m**...".
"What? Why?" The man replies.
"Because I'm trying to examine you"
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally, I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
Mr. Know it all
Little Johnny asked his mom about her age.
"Johnny, gentlemen don't ask ladies that question"
Johnny asks his mom about her weight.
"Johnny, gentlemen also don't ask ladies about their weight"
So Little Johnny asks, "Why did daddy leave you then?"
"Johnny lets not talk about that." She then send Johnny to his room.
On his way to his room he trips on his mom's purse and there he finds her drivers license.
He runs back to his mom and proudly says, "Mom! I know all about you now! You are 42 years old, weigh 172 pounds and the reason why daddy left you is because you got an 'F' in s**...!"
Shingles
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: "Shingles." So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, "Shingles." So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, "Shingles." So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the n**... and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, "Shingles."
The doctor asked, "Where?"
Kevin said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em?"
Bouncing neighbour...
Jimmy had been hearing loud bumping noises coming from his parents room for the last 3 or 4 nights. The next night , the noises started again, so he goes to investigate. Quietly opening his parents bedroom door, he see's his mother bouncing up and down on his father. Quietly, he slips back to bed. The next morning,Jimmy asks his mom why she was bouncing up and down on dads stomach.
Mom thinks for a minute , then tells Jimmy, "It's part of a new diet plan to help dad lose weight."
Jimmy then replies, "I don't think it will work mom".
Mom asks Jimmy, "why not!"
"Because every morning when you leave for work, Mrs. Jones from next door comes over and blows daddy back up!"