Wedlock Jokes
5 wedlock jokes and hilarious wedlock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wedlock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Fun Wedlock Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What is a good wedlock joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A 90 year old man walks into confession...
He says, "Forgive me Father, I've sinned. I slept with two beautiful, 20 year old women last night outside of wedlock."
The Father says, "Oh my Lord, when was the last time you made confession?"
He says, "I've never made confession before Father, I'm Jewish."
The Father says, "You're Jewish? Well what are you telling *me* for?"
He says, "Well, I'm telling *everybody*."
Best lock in the world.
Wedlock.
Ernie's baby
My friend Ernest III had his first born, a little boy. But it was born out of wedlock, so he named it "insincere".
A man goes into confession...
Man - "Father I have sinned. I had s**... out of wedlock."
Father - "Oh that is bad. Who was it with?"
Man - "Oh no, I don't want to say who it was."
Father - "Well was it Mary?"
Man - "No no sir it wasn't Mary."
Father - "Well than it must've been Susie."
Man - "No father it wasn't Susie. I don't really want to say."
Father - "Ok just go ten hail Marys then you should be ok."
The man goes outside and sees his friends waiting for him.
Friends - "How was it?"
Man - "Not bad, I got two great leads!"
Heard this one 20 years ago in India
At Sunday mass in a small coastal town, the preacher decides to address the increasing promiscuity of the locals. People were beginning to have more and more pre-marital s**..., more children were being born out of wedlock and the number of teenage mothers was on the rise. The fact that it was a tourist spot also meant that one-night flings with visitors was now commonplace.
"In Corinthians 6:18-20 the lord says Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."
Continuing in the same vein, he hopes that he is shaming the audience into repentance so that they may amend their ways. As a grand flourish, he ends with, "Now let those among you who have saved themselves for the Lord stand up, so we may gaze upon thee and admire thee."
No one stands up, and all avert their gaze and look at their shoes.
Then, a young mother with a five month old-baby girl stands up at the back.
Everyone is taken aback and the preacher is flustered. "Did you not understand my instruction? Only those who have not had s**... congress may stand!"
"Well, father", the young mother replies, "you can hardly expect this baby to stand up by herself, now, can you?"
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