The Best 53 Weddings Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Weddings jokes. There are some weddings cantelope jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these weddings mc a wedding puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Weddings Jokes and Puns

I always hated weddings...

I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next.". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.

I hated weddings as a kid

When I was younger,I had to attend many a wedding with my parents. Every single time, my aunts and other older relatives used to poke me with a smirk and tell me "You're next.".
They only stopped after I started doing the same thing with them at funerals.

What kind of melons always have big weddings?

Cantaloupe.

Weddings joke, What kind of melons always have big weddings?

Some Fun Facts

It's a well known fact that *Don't Stop Believing* is the number one song played at weddings.

A lesser known fact is that the song most played at funerals is *Don't Stop Bereaving*

Which, coincidentally, is the number one song played at Asian weddings.

Why do melons always have well planned weddings ?

They can'telope !


Old people kept poking me at weddings and saying "You are next"

So at funerals I do the same to them

It's become so annoying at weddings, when elderly relatives start playing the game of "I wonder who'll be next"...

...so I've started doing the same to them at funerals.

Weddings joke, It's become so annoying at weddings, when elderly relatives start playing the game of "I wonder who'

Perfect & interesting joke of a little boy~

Old people poke me at weddings and tell me "your next"
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next"

They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

What does a Jewish cat say at weddings?

Meowzel tov

Why do melons have fancy weddings?

Because they cantelope!

You can explore weddings invite reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean weddings ceremony dad jokes. There are also weddings puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Old people always poke me at weddings and say "You're next"

So I started doing the same to them at funerals

Dyslexic florists say

"Weddings are for pansies."

Old folks use to poke me at weddings and say your next so...

I started doing it back to them...at funerals. 😉

Why people cry during the weddings?

...they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Why do melons always have big weddings?

Because they can't elope.

Weddings joke, Why do melons always have big weddings?

Why do nerds go to Jewish weddings?

Because they break glasses and protect their pockets

Why do melons always have church weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why are Alabama weddings so small?

They've only gotta invite one family


When I was single my old Aunt used to come up to me at family weddings

And poke me in the ribs and say, "you're next." she stopped after I did the same to her at a funeral.

My parents decided to have a Nirvana-Themed wedding

Then again, shotgun weddings were all the rage back then.

Disclaimer: 8371 days is long enough.

What do ducks wear to weddings?

Duxedos!

Why are Alabama weddings so small?

Because you only need to invite one family.

Why do melons have expensive weddings?

They cantaloupe.

Always hated how at weddings the old family farts would cuckle and say "It's your turn next time.."

So I started telling them the same at funerals

Why do melons have such extravagant weddings?

Because they cantaloupe

Wedding problems...

Every time I go to weddings the older folks poke me in the arm and whisper "that is gonna be you! That is gonna be you!"

So now when I go to funerals I poke them in the arm and say "that is gonna be you!"

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and say "You're next! You're next!"

They stopped when I started doing the same at funerals.

What kind of fruit always has big weddings?

Can't-elope

In my opinion all weddings should be held in the nude...

That way we really know who the best man is.

Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

Because they cantaloupe

Why do people throw rice at weddings?

Because tomatoes leave stains.

Why do melons have large weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

At family weddings my aunt's would jab me in the ribs and cackle "you're next".

They stopped when I started doing it to them at funerals.

Pigeons are just like doves.

Except no one invites them to weddings.

What fruit always has big weddings?

A cantalope.

Weddings can be very expensive, can't they?

That's because you're paying to have sex for life.

Single, attending ex's wedding, person next to me asks, 'wouldn't weddings make you wanna get married?'

'Wouldn't funerals make you wanna get dead?' I answered.

After being brought to so many weddings by my family I can't wait for my own!

So I know who the guests are!

Or anyone for that matter.

At weddings, old ladies poke me and say,"You're next."

It's the other way around at funerals.

Recently my Grandma has been coming up to me at weddings and saying Soon it will be your turn!

She didn't appreciate it when I started saying the same thing to her at funerals

Where cant someone tell a joke ?

Funerals and weddings

Funerals because laughing at dead people is wrong.

Weddings because losing a friend is a tradegy.

Why did the Alabama Baker go out of business after he refused to bake cakes for gay weddings?

Because he refused to bake for incestuous weddings too.

I like weddings in Alabama...

I normally have to ask which side is for the groom and which is for the bride but in Alabama, they're all family!

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, Well Shashank? Do you think you'll be next?

.

.



We've settled this quickly once I've started doing the same to them at funerals.

I love dances at weddings ...

Especially since I'm not a great dancer. Most of the songs tell you what to do. Like when they play "Do The Twist," you twist. They play "Jump Around", you jump around ... There was, however, that unfortunate night I got kicked out when the DJ played "Come On Eileen."

You're Next

I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next." They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.

Two watermelons fall in love and want to get married.

Alas, weddings of that variety haven't been legalised yet meaning they cantaloupe

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

How did they fund four weddings and a funeral?

A Huge Grant

What kind of fruit always has big formal weddings?

The cantelope

I have a bunch of elderly relatives that used to love to tease me at weddings by saying stuff like: "Oh, you'll be next, you'll be next!"

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Weddings by Christian denomination [super-dated but still funny]

At a Catholic wedding, the bride is pregnant.

At a Mormon wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.

At a United Church wedding, the minister is pregnant.

At a Unitarian wedding, the minister and her wife are both pregnant.

*Adapted poorly from a joke about Jewish denominations.*

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the weddings groom wedding speech jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working weddings grooms wedding speech piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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