Wedding Planning Jokes
18 wedding planning jokes and hilarious wedding planning puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wedding planning that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Wedding Planning Short Jokes
Short wedding planning jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wedding planning humour may include short wedding preparation jokes also.
- I'm going to plan my wedding like airports plan flights I'll over book the venue. The last to arrive will be given a voucher to my second wedding.
- I told my friend I'm planning on wearing a kilt to his wedding. He asked "What's the tartan?" I said "She's wearing a red dress."
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Wedding Planning One Liners
Which wedding planning one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wedding planning? I can suggest the ones about wedding and wedding ceremony.
- My life as an Arabian #1 You're not even 20, and they are already planning your wedding.
Hilarious Wedding Planning Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about wedding planning you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wedding reception jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wedding planning pranks.
Importance of Planning
Why planning is important?
One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See below for the question paper.
Q.1. Your Name…….. ………
(2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst?
(98 MARKS)
a) Front left
b) Front right
c) Back left
d) Back right
A rabbi and a priest
A rabbi and a priest were at a communal dinner when a dish of roast pork was served.
The priest leaned into the rabbi's ear and whispered, "You planning on eating that buddy?"
The rabbi chuckled and replied, "Not today. But I'm definitely planning to have some at your wedding."
How's the wedding planning coming on, John?
John: "We're having a slight difference of opinion. She wants a big church wedding, large reception, small orchestra, the works. I want to elope with someone else."
A bit different, this isn't a joke, but I have an idea for a joke
Basically, in the joke, there's a bride and a groom, and they are planning their wedding. The bride leaves the groom at the altar, and the ceremony goes off *without a hitch*
How can I word this joke to make it the most effective?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration.
Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want s**..., and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have s**... outback of the church.
Italian Anniversary
At the church's husbands' marriage seminar, the Priest asked Luigi, on his upcoming 50th
wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to
stay married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the audience "Well, I've-a tried to treat-a her well, spend-a the money on her, but-a, da best-a is-a dat I took her to Italy for the 20th-a anniversary!
The Priest immediately commented, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell the audience what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm-a gonna go and-a get her."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Burning Rubber
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half- century age difference.
On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch e**..., and he was carrying ear plugs and a pair of nose plugs.
Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, What are those for?
The old man replied, There are just two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming… and the smell of burning rubber!
Three fruits discuss marriage.
Doug the Banana is chatting with his buddies about his upcoming wedding. Doug says, "Yeah you know, the wedding planning has been a huge hassle. Everything's expensive, everyone's telling us what we should do, and we're worried about offending people we don't invite. There are so many little things to take care of and its taking a toll. Marsha and I have actually considered eloping, if you can believe that. It would make things so much easier."
Fred the Grape pipes in and says, "Yeah its funny you mention that. Darla and I have actually thought about eloping. Her mother is crazy and don't want her meddling with the wedding. The family issues are just a lot to manage and its really taking away from the magic of it all. It would just be a lot simpler to get away on our own."
Finally, Doug and Fred turn to Bob, a Melon, and ask him, "What about you Bob? Will you and Sandra ever elope?" And Bob says, "I can't."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a nice Italian couple . . .
At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands'
marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was
approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and
share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the
same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to
treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka
her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all
the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife
for your 50th anniversary?
Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go p**... her up."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Her Family
A guy from Arkansas goes to New York for the first time and meets the woman of his dreams. She happily agrees when he asks her to marry him, and they go down to Arkansas to plan the wedding.
At the wedding, her brother tells the groom "You'd better be gentle with her, she's a v**......"
The groom suddenly runs all over the place shouting "The wedding's off! Everyone out!!" waving his arms all over in total dismay.
His mother comes running up and asks what in the world the problem is.
He says "well, ma, she's a v**...!!"
His mother says "so what?"
... "Well, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure ain't good enough for ours!!"
4 MBA students went out on a night before their exam and were boozing hard.
They did not study for the test and thought of a plan to escape. So they went to their dean looking weary and worn out, their dresses covered in grease and dirt.
They told their dean that they had all gone to a wedding the previous day and while coming back their car tire had blown up. So they had to push the car all way back to the hostel as there was no help available on the way. So they said that they were not in a position to write the test that day and asked him to conduct a retest later.
The dean being a kind man he was asked them to come to a retest 3 days later.
The boys were very happy and went to prepare in full swing.
After 3 days the dean asked them to come for the test.
The dean said that the test had 2 questions for 100 marks.
He said that they had to write the test in separate rooms.
As the boys had prepared well they agreed. The test went as follows.
TEST
Q.1 Write your name
Q.2 Which tire burst?
One night 4 MBA students were outing till late night and didn`t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
Then dean was a just person so he said that you can have the retest after 3 days.
They said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the dean.
The dean said that this was a special condition test.
All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks:
Q.1. Write down your name –(2 marks)
Q.2. Which tyre burst — (98 marks)
At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto , they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, "Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!"
The priest responded, "Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?"
Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
“Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks.
“Not really,” says Mary.
“Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.
“No,” she responds.
“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests.
She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.”
Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?”
“John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary.
John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”