Wedding Jokes
Following is our collection of rosa humor and aerials one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Wedding puns for adults, dirty newlyweds jokes or clean cowboy wedding gags for kids.
There is an abundance of antennae jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on wedding. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any chinese wedding night witze you can hear about wedding.
The Best jokes about Wedding
I watched the video of my wedding backwards.
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!
I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of Free Bird being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.
Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.
A guy was screaming at the TV Run idiot, run!
His wife walked in and asked Are you watching a horror movie? . He said No. It's our wedding tape
What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?
a new last name
My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day
So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...
To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
What food makes women stop giving blow jobs?
Wedding cake
What did Kate Middleton find out on her wedding night?
That not all rulers are twelve inches long
My wife wasn't happy.
True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."
I hope they serve cookies at the Royal Wedding this weekend
Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...
To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)
My ex-gf invited me to her wedding
Told her I was busy, will be there next time
What one food reduces a woman's sex drive by 90%?
Wedding cake.
At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.'
The poor bartender was crushed to death.
What's the difference between a Syrian wedding and an ISIS training camp?
I don't know man, I just fly the drone.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: Don't go in there! Don't go in the church, you moron."
She was watching our wedding video again.
Wife: "You need to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events"
Me: "okay, I'll get out the wedding video"
Watching my wedding video in reverse brought tears to my eyes
I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Her wedding cake.
My parents always warned me about having sex before marriage...
But somehow I'm in their wedding picture.
What is the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?
One fewer drunk person.
A little girl is attending her first wedding...
And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."
The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 24 year old...
During the wedding party, his friends ask him, How'd you land someone that young?
It's simple, said the billionaire, I faked my age!
I mean, I'm 43, and there's no way I could land her! , a friend exclaims. What age did you tell her you were?
Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, 85 years old.
It's impossible to please women.
Even at your wedding, you are not the best man
What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?
Getting hit by Rice
What's the one food guaranteed to kill a woman's sex drive?
Wedding cake.
Euro 2016
Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.
If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...
... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.
I played my wedding video backwards today.
It really cheered me up to see me take the ring off my wife's finger, walk out of church and go drinking with my friends.
How does an Indian girl tell her family she will be wearing a Western dress to her wedding?
"Sorry, not Sari."
Help Requested: A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl.
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. They are box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize when he bought them that this is the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM. Her name is Donna. She will be the one in the white dress.
I recently watched my wedding video backwards.
I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends.
I went to a beautiful wedding this weekend.
It was so emotional.
Even the cake was in tiers.
A man is watching tv and starts yelling "No! No! DONT GO IN THE CHURCH!!!"
The wife from another room asks: "honey what are you watching?"
Husband: our wedding video
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drinker
It was such an emotional wedding...
Even the cake was in tiers.
Hi, how much for this torture device?
Sir, that's a wedding ring.
Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship?
The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring
Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.
They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"
Happy Valentine's, everyone!
Why did the dad proton want his daughter proton to marry an electron?
So the wedding would be free of charge
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Simple, grins the millionaire, I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied.Β "I said I was 87!"
Every marriage has 3 rings. First is the engagement ring. Second, the wedding ring.
Then comes the suffering.
A woman had three daughters getting married the same day. Naturally she was worried about their sex life. It was agreed that they would send a discrete message.
Two weeks after the triple wedding the first message arrives. An ad for Maxwell House with the slogan "Good till the last drop." She's happy for her girl.
A month passes and a second message arrives with a Marlboro ad. "Marlboro: Extra long, extra strong." She's a little embarrassed, but happy.
Three months pass. She's really worried about her youngest when finally a message arrives. It's addressed in shaky handwriting and contains an ad for British Airways. "London to Paris: Seven days a week, three times a day, both ways."
She fainted.
Cake joke for my cake day!
Was at a wedding today and it was so beautiful everyone started crying.
Even the cake was in tiers.
My wife hasn't spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding.
He's not happy about it either.
How do you remember your wedding anniversary?
Forget it once.
A driver was arrested after a deadly accident...
Policeman: How could you kill 49 people? What the Hell is wrong with you?
Driver: I was driving at 80 km/h when I saw two men crossing the Road. On the road side, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the Breaks, but then I realised they were not working. So, I had to take a decision; either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: You could have hit the 2 men!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other one ran towards the wedding party. So I followed him. Β―\\(γ)/Β―
My wife was giving a speech at her parents' wedding anniversary, and my phone battery ran out in the middle of recording it.
Now I'll never hear the end of it.
I was taught there are 3 rings in life.
The engagement ring. The wedding ring. And the suffering.
What's the difference between a straight wedding and a gay wedding?
The reason the parents are crying.
I stole this off of Late Night w/Seth Meyers
What oββne fββood rββeduces aββ wββoman's sββex dββrive bββy 9ββ0%?
Wedding cββake.
Two antenna met on a roof...
fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was *excellent*.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
I went to a wedding and they played "The Twist" so I did the Twist, then they played "Macerena" so I did the " Macerena then they played "Come On Eileen"
So I was told to leave
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.