Wedding Dress Jokes
45 wedding dress jokes and hilarious wedding dress puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wedding dress that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Wedding Dress Short Jokes
Short wedding dress jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wedding dress humour may include short wedding jokes also.
- How does an Indian girl tell her family she will be wearing a Western dress to her wedding? "Sorry, not Sari."
- "I can still fit into my wedding dress!", my wife bragged. "That's only because you were 8 months pregnant", I replied.
- Why do women wear white wedding dresses? So the dishwasher can match the refrigerator and stove
- Old joke time, Why are wedding dresses white? To match the other appliances in the kitchen.
- I have this crush on a girl at work, so I got her address She seemed a little creeped out when she saw it was a wedding dress though.
- On my way to my wedding I got caught in a rain shower and my dress was ruined. I tried to file a claim with insurance but they said I didn't have an umbrella policy.
- Tinder is for rookies Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size
- On their wedding night, the couple ordered a "Honeymoon Salad" Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
- I went to Thor's wedding last year and was worried that I was really under dressed. It ended up being pretty Loki.
- I spilled salad dressing on myself today at a wedding. I felt rather overdressed after that.
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Wedding Dress One Liners
Which wedding dress one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wedding dress? I can suggest the ones about wedding day and wedding rings.
- Why are wedding dresses white? So the dishwasher matches the fridge.
- Why are wedding dresses white So that the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.
- Yo mama is so ghetto her wedding dress was a tall-t
- Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive? The brides are already dressed in white.
- Who you gonna call to get you a new dress at the last hour of your wedding? Taylor Swift
- Why are wedding dresses white? Because other household appliances also are.
Comedy Wedding Dress Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about wedding dress you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean groom wedding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wedding dress pranks.
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes.
Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes.
Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a v**...."
Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
A little boy at a wedding...
A little boy at a wedding asks his Mom, "Mommy how come bride's wear white dresses at their wedding." The Mom responds "Well because it's the happiest day of her life." The kid responds "Then how come the groom wears black?"
A little girl is attending her first wedding...
And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."
The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
She Knows Why
**boy whispering to mum during wedding**
Boy: "Mummy?"
Mum: "What?
Boy: "Why is the lady dressed in white?"
Mum: "Because this is her happiest day in her life"
Boy: "... So Why is the man dressed in black?"
Why are wedding dresses white?
It's the most popular colour of home appliances, washing machines, dishwashers,........
Boy and Mom funny conversation
Boy whispers to his mom during a wedding
Boy: Mommy?
Mom: What?
Boy: Why is the girl dressed in white?
Mom: Because this is the happiest day of her life.
Boy: so why is the boy dressed in black?
I told my friend I'm planning on wearing a kilt to his wedding. He asked "What's the tartan?"
I said "She's wearing a red dress."
My wife says she can't fit into her wedding dress anymore.
I told her it's ok dear, neither can I.
Super bowl tickets
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
So my cousin s**... up bigtime
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
And then the fight started.
A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?'
The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:
'Son, all household appliances come in white..
A women tells her husband
"Isn't it nice that my wedding dress still fits me when none of my friends can wear theirs?"
To which the husband replies "Yeah, but you forget honey, you were 9 months pregnant then too"
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super bowl.
Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
My girlfriend is off out to buy a d**... outfit on Saturday.
Although she prefers to call it a wedding dress.
I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.
They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.
So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
My wife and I.
My soon to be wife and I are looking at wedding dresses for her.
I said to her I dont care what she wears down the isle. I said best case, you go down the isle wearing a track suit.
She says why... I want something that will look better than that.
I said it would be perfect because I find her very at-track-tive.
A son asked his mother, "Why are wedding dresses white?"
She replied, "It shows your friends and relatives that the bride is pure."
Then the son went and asked the same question to his father.
"All household appliances come in white," said his father.
Anyone available??
I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Two tickets to the super bowl
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tix, 40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Prob bc of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place... Try to be on time. It's at Calvary church in Santa Monica at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
Buddy bought Superbowl tickets
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tickets, 40 yard line box seats 20 rows up. He paid $4,500 each but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Probably because of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Calvary church in San Clemente at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, very flexible and a decent cook too.
She'll be in the white dress.
Asking for a friend ............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl.
They are 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
A buddy of mine has two Super Bowl tickets.
40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them it was going to be on the same day as his wedding - probably because of the extra game this year. If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Sacred Heart Catholic church in Los Angeles at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
On her deathbed, Morton's wife had one last wish.
"Dearest Morton, when I'm gone I want you to go on and live your life to the fullest and meet someone new. I want you to give her my jewellry, my wedding ring, and my Parisian dresses."
"I can't do that.." says Morton. His wife insists, "Oh, but you must! You must!"
He replies, "No, I really can't - You're a size 17 and she wears a size 10."