Web Jokes

Get ready to laugh out loud with this collection of funny jokes about the web! From dark web puns to puns about the world wide web, spider webs, and webpages - there's a joke for everyone. Laugh your way through this compilation of puns about the web, from homepage folder gags to Spiderman web puns.

Silly Web Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.

We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

My daughter wants a pet spider for her birthday

I went to the pet store, and the owner said "that'll be $200 please", I said "$200?, it'll be cheaper getting one off the web".

EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

WEB MD: Cancer.

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it...

So I did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works as a web developer.

jokes about web

If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together

would they call it Amazon Web Services?

What was Spider Man's major in college?

Web Design.

why don't spiders go to school..

Because they learn everything on web.

:(

i know i suck at jokes.

What do Spiderman and I have in common?

We both end up with sticky hands after using the web.

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.

You guys heard about this new Spiderman restaurant?

Don't bother bringing cash. All the orders are web only.

Man is like spider...

..bound to have sticky fingers after being on the web

You can explore web folder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean web cam dad jokes. There are also web puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the worst thing you can come across while searching the web?

Your keyboard.

Add a word to ruin a movie:

- Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.

What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime?

Web Development.

I get anxious whenever I have to use the default Microsoft web browser

Using Firefox helps take the *Edge* off.

Spiders must be...

the only web developers who like bugs.

Mother told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.

Went for a few drinks, pretty cool guy actually. Wants to be a web developer.

Today I pitched a new web software to Apple to replace Safari...

it raised a few iBrowse :(

Men are like spiders

We tend to have sticky hands after being on web.

I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine

A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".

"$500? Why is it so expensive?"

"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"

"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"

"$2000!"

"$2000?"

"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"

"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"

"The third one costs $200,000".

"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"

"absolute nothing."

"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"

"because the other two parrots call him boss".

The most common type of web developers are not even human

they are spiders

What do spiders do for a job?

Web development

Spiderman:

Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.

My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it...

We went and had some drinks. Really cool guy. Works as a web designer.

A Web Designer decided to use right aligned text

His boss yelled at him for it, because it wasn't justified.

I was in a band called Dark Web.

We was always on tor.

When I worked as Tech Support for an ISP I had a woman call outraged that we allowed "filth" on her computer...

After she calmed down slightly she explained that her 10 year old Granddaughter was sleeping over and they were having a "Spa Night" and did a web search on "Facials". . . .I was able to hit the mute button in time to avoid making matters far worse... True Story!

Right now my brain is like a web browser.

I've got 21 tabs open. 5 of them have crashed, and I can't work out where the music is coming from.

What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?

Your keyboard.

Yo momma so fat

she doesn't need the web.

She's world-wide.

For all you web developers out there.

Why couldn't the div buy a drink?

It lacked id.

Why couldn't the div find a girlfriend?

It lacked class.

Why wasn't the div good at diplomacy?

Its position was absolute.

Why was the div an anarchist?

It had no borders.

Why couldn't the div play poker?

It had 0 opacity.

Struck up a conversation with a spider today at home while dusting.

Nice guy. He's a web designer

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?

The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

A man is like a spider....

when he is on the web, he is bound to get his hands sticky....

What does a spider want to be when he grows up?

(This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........)

A web designer.

You hear about the spider who needed a job?

He was experienced in web development.

Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it...

We had some drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web developer.

A doctor is selling his victims on the dark web. He shows up to the location and no one is there. The doctor waits for hours. When the buyer shows up...

They say "Thank you for your patients"

How do spiders make good computer technicians?

They are always on the Web.

I've been learning to use a new web browser lately, but my teacher is being really harsh to me.

He's my Tor-mentor.

How to ruin a movie with one word...

**Batman Begins** College

**The Longest Yard** Sale

**Charlotte's Web** Cam

Add your own in the comments!

I know this guy who teaches people how to access the Dark Web, but if they're incompetent then he physically and psychologically abuses them

He's a Tor mentor.

We had a spider in our room..

My girlfriend told me to take it out,

Seems like a nice guy,
Wants to be a web developer.

Why did Peter Parker get fired?

He spent all day on the web.

What is the most common job among spiders?

Web designer.

What's the most common career choice among spiders?

Web development

I saw a spider in my house today, but instead of killing it I took it out.

We had a couple drinks, and as it turns out he's a really good guy. He says he wants to be a web designer.

I don't get what the big deal is with spiders. Why is everyone so scared of them?

I got to know the spider living in the corner of my room. We talked about our dreams and goals, he wants to be a Web designer.

What do you call a graduated spider?

A Web Designer

Jokes/Puns!

1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.

2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.

3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.

4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.

5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.

6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.

Why did the spider never go to school

Because she learnt everything on the web.

b^a^d^a^b^u^m

What's the most popular job amongst spiders?

Web designer.

Who called it Spider-Man trilogy and not..

A web series.

Where do criminal spiders hang out?

The deep web

Why did the male spider spin a web?

So he could catch all the fly ladies.

My GF told me to take the spider out instead of killing it

We went out and had a few drinks. Cool guy. Turns out he's a web dev.

What kind of web developer likes to find bugs?

A Spider

A spider got sick from eating a fly he trapped...

his mother told him not to trust everything he finds on the web

Jesus and Satan are having a contest

They want to see who is the best programmer.

So the first challenge is screens. It's a tie.

Then Assembly. Tie again.

Web Design. Tie again.

Challenge after challenge nobody is winning. So after like five days the power fails. So they wait for it to come back on. Then when the power come back on Jesus is the clear winner.

Because Jesus saves.

How did Rey exit out of her glitching web browser?

Force quit.

What does Spider-Man do after he gets hurt?

He checks Web MD

Have you seen the film about an onion that turns into a spider?

It's called Shallot's Web

My grandpa isn't very computer savvy

So my Grandpa (72) got on the internet only recently and is still very unsure about how to use it. A month or so ago I taught him how to use email, to his amazement.
I also showed him how web browsing works and showed him how to put questions into Google search.
Yesterday he was planning to repaint the shed and wanted to know if latex paint would stick to stucco, so he did a search for Latex Bondage.

Spiders are the only web developers

that like to find bugs.

What do the World Wide Web and the Prime Minister of Israel have in common?

They are both Net and Yahoo.

What is Spiderman's perfect job?

A web designer.

^^^^^sorry!

Passionate kiss is like spider web

leads to undoing of fly.

My doctor's name is Peter Parker

But I just call him Web MD

If you hear, "Oh, what a tangled web we weave"

There's usually a looming problem.

Why are spiders so unproductive?

Because they hang out on the web all day!

Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex (i.e. right now);

FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing;

FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex;

FACT: A few less fortunate are reading emails & web postings;

You hang in there!

Why couldn't Super Mario surf the web?

Because Browser wouldn't let him.

What does spiderman do for his living?

He's a web developer

I took a class about spiders

thanks to the pandemic, it was on the web

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

Why does Ganondorf hate surfing the web

There are too many Links

What kind of career would a spider excel in?

Web design
Hehehe

Why do spiders usually get jobs in tech?

Most of them are already competent web developers.

Why did the spider go to college?

To get his degree in web design!

There's an emo in my Web Development class, she's doing a website about jewellery

Her first page was /Wrists

This joke about Covid circulating around Chinese web boards...

If someone walking ahead of you farts and you can can hear it, that means you're not practicing correct social distancing.

If you can smell it, that means you're not wearing your mask properly.

If you are wearing your mask properly and can still smell it, then congratulations, you don't have covid-19.

What's Spiderman's favorite hobby?

Web designer

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the web spider web puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working web dark web piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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