Weatherman Jokes
51 weatherman jokes and hilarious weatherman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weatherman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Weatherman Short Jokes
Short weatherman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weatherman humour may include short weather man jokes also.
- Just made this up, and apologize in advance... What did the Doctor give the weatherman after his skiing accident? 4 casts
- The devil asked his resident weatherman what the forecast was for the week ahead... "Hail, Satan"
- I've just been sacked as the weatherman at the local radio station Apparently I was too 'cheerful' when giving out the really bad weather reports!!!
That's it!! No more mist and ice guy. - What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract? One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.
- Fool me once... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman.
- My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a weatherman I forecast 6+ inches lasting for a couple of hours. It ends up being less then 4 and is over in 2 minutes.
- The local weatherman named the upcoming snowstorm after his oldest son Kevin. Because he didn't think it was going to amount to much either.
- Why shouldn't you sleep with a weatherman? They'll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you'll only get 3 to 5.
- The bartender says: "Not you again" Weatherman Phil Connors walks into the bar.
Happy groundhog day everyone! - The Florists wife was Rose The weatherman's wife was May
The bankers wife was Penny
And the senators wife was Peggy.
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Weatherman One Liners
Which weatherman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with weatherman? I can suggest the ones about weather reporter and meteorologist.
- Why did the weatherman blush? He saw the climate change
- My wife divorced me because I'm a weatherman. That wasn't what I predicted
- How many pets does a weatherman have? Four Cats
- What do you call a weatherman's evil twin? A doppler-gänger
- I'm no weatherman But you can expect a few inches tonight
- I'm no weatherman but I know you're going to get 3 inches tonight.
- They call me the Weatherman when I'm playing basketball Because I'm never accurate.
- Why was the weatherman's date disappointed? She was promised 10 inches but got only 2
- What wasthe white supremacist weatherman's forecast? Heavy reign, with a chance of heil.
- I'm no weatherman... But you'll be seeing more than a couple inches tonight.
;) - What did the thirsty weatherman say to his intern? I need my thermos, stat!
- What do you call a weatherman who really likes steak? A meateaterologist.
- I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Which is why I left my job as the UK weatherman.
- Why did the weatherman sue the clouds? They wouldn't let him see his sun!!
- You heard what Pedro the weatherman reported? Chili today, hot tamale
Howlingly Hilarious Weatherman Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about weatherman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weather girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weatherman pranks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and asked:
'So Bobby, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'
Air force weatherman
So, my uncle Mark was a weatherman for the air force and one day during a briefing, the Colonel said, "I think we should all thank Mark here for the wonderful weather that we've been having for our b**... runs."
So my uncle says, "I'm in prediction, not production. I think we need to thank the chaplain."
The chaplain, without missing a beat, says, "I'm in sales, not in management."
s**... with a weatherman must s**....
Always telling you to expect 8-12 inches,
only to find out it's not even 4.
Why is sleeping with a weatherman always disappointing?
Because he always promises 10-12 inches, but you only ever get 2-3.
The weatherman is always telling me things like "it's 70 degrees out, but feels like 59."
So I told my wife, "oh honey I swear it's 8 inches, but it just feels like 4."
A Russian man was making small talk with his wife about the weather...
"Looks like rain today doesn't it?" but his wife insisted...
"Rudy, my love, the weatherman says it will clear up before lunch."
"No, zayka, I feel it in my bones. It is going to rain."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Oh, Rudolph the Red knows rain dear..."
What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast?
"Hail, Caesar"
How to take a hurricane seriously
If the US wants to take hurricanes seriously they need to give them Muslim names. We got Irma and people don't care. But when the weatherman starts saying Abdullah is coming at Florida as a category 5, the whole country would evacuate.
Weatherman forecasted the worst storm in over a hundred years, but it didn't hit us.
It was very anticlimatic
Just heard the TV weatherman say, high in the thirties .
Now I know the title to one of the chapters of my autobiography.
What do a weatherman and Tinder date have in common?
They say to expect eight inches, but you only get four.
During a zombie apocalypse
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Gamer Zombies: GAMMMMESSS!!
Depressed Zombies: PAINNNNSSS!!
Batman Zombie: BANNNNEEE!!
Living in the northeast, I don't normally get mad about snow.
But this snitch a**... weatherman just let my wife know what six inches actually looks like.
Husband yells into the phone "How the h**... would I know. I'm not a weatherman."
Wife asks him "What's that all about?"
He says "Some guy keeps calling and asking if the coast is clear."
