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Weasel Jokes

22 weasel jokes and hilarious weasel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weasel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Weasel Short Jokes

Short weasel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weasel humour may include short porpoise jokes also.

  1. A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
  2. Cigarettes are just like weasels... Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and set them on fire.
  3. A fox, a wolf and a weasel all go to a restaurant. The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink.
    "Water" says the Fox,
    "Coffee" growls the wolf,
    And "Pop!" Goes the Weasel!
  4. What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel? One's weasily identifiable, the other one's stoatally different.
  5. So I was driving home from work and I saw what looked like a giant weasel It was humongoose.
  6. A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Wow. After all my years as a bartender, I've never had a weasel in here. What can I get you?"
    "Pop", goes the weasel.
  7. A weasel walks into a bar. A weasel walks into a bar
    "Wow we've never had a weasel in here before" said the bartender "What would you like to drink"
    "Pop" goes the weasel
  8. A fat weasel named "Ox" walks into a bar. The bartender exclaims, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Soda," jokes Ox.

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Weasel One Liners

Which weasel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with weasel? I can suggest the ones about wasp and beaver.

  1. My friend offered to let me rent 2 of his ermines. He is now the lessor of two weasels.
  2. What is a weasels favourite drink? Pop!
  3. What do you call a weasel made out of gasoline? A diesel.
  4. A weasel walks into a bar. The bartendet says, "welcome Lyin' Ted!"
  5. My car runs on ferrets It broke down after I accidentally filled it with weasel.
  6. A concerned mother censors the 99 bottle of beers song Pop goes the weasel!
Weasel joke, A concerned mother censors the 99 bottle of beers song

Hilarious Weasel Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about weasel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wolf jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weasel pranks.

A monkey and a weasel go to a bar in California

The monkey sits down at the bar and orders a beer. He gestures at the weasel and says, "he's driving though, so no beer for him." The bartender turns to the weasel and says, "alright, what'll you have?"
"Soda," goes the weasel.

A weasel walks into a gas station with a ski mask and a gun, demanding that the cashier puts everything in a bag for him. The cashier says wow! A weasel!! I've never seen one in real life before!

*pop goes the weasel

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The LHC was shut down recently by a weasel

Seems that the problem was a stoatal disaster for physics and may cause significant delays in startup.

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar...

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel.
"Sir, you look extremely young. I can't serve you even a single beer."
"Oh c'mon. You can't just slide me one?"
"Can't and will not serve to anyone under age."
"Fine. Well what other things do you have?"
"Well for non-alcoholics I have tap water and bottled water, I have coffee, and I have pop. Which would you like?"
"Pop." Goes the weasel.

Weasel joke, A concerned mother censors the 99 bottle of beers song

jokes about weasel