Wearing Socks Jokes
56 wearing socks jokes and hilarious wearing socks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wearing socks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Wearing Socks Short Jokes
Short wearing socks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wearing socks humour may include short socks jokes also.
- How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating? If she's only wearing one sock.
(This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) - Tomorrow is downs syndrome Awareness Day You're supposed to wear crazy socks.
I'm just going to wear extra jeans. - How can you tell if someone's a psychiatrist? Check their feet. If they are wearing dinosaur socks, they are a psychiatrist.
It's a simple roar sock test. - All the kids at daycare were wearing each other's socks today when we picked our son up Must've been a busy trading day at the Sock Market
- Would you wear socks if you had no feet? Boy: Would you wear socks if you had no feet?
Girl: Nope
Boy: Then why do you wear a bra...?
Girl: Why do you wear pants? - I asked my wife if she didn't have feet would she wear socks? She said no
I said then why do you wear a bra? - Did you hear about the ditch digger who showed up to work hung over? His clothes were in tatters, he was wearing one sock, and didn't even bring his tools.
His coworkers said he looked deshoveled - Yo moma so fat she wears trashbags for socks.
- What do you call a deaf girl wearing socks? You can't.
- What kind of socks do rich people wear? Goldman socks
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Wearing Socks One Liners
Which wearing socks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wearing socks? I can suggest the ones about wearing shorts and wearing.
- Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of socks? Just in case they get a hole in one!
- What do you call someone wearing a mismatched pair of socks? A heterosoxual.
- Why does lebron james wear high socks? His Cavs can't handle the Heat
- I never wear golf socks. They've always got a hole in one.
- I bite my nails, but you would never be able to tell because I wear socks with my sandals
- Why don't bears wear socks? They have bear feet
- What do you get when you wear wool socks in a tortilla chip factory? Tostitos.
- What's it called when you wear army green socks? Camo-Toe!
- Dads are like socks Wear did he go?
- Do I need to wear socks when I have a shoe bless me, when I have athletes foot?
- What kind of socks to pirates wear? Arrrrrrrgyle
- How do you know a hippie is on her period? She's only wearing one sock.
- Why didn't the golfer wear his lucky socks? He got a hole in one...
- How do you know when a hippy chick is on the rag? She's only wearing one sock.
- What kind of socks do priests wear? Holey ones.
Cheeky Wearing Socks Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about wearing socks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tying shoes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wearing socks pranks.
A blonde is wearing a pair of socks that don't match, one is red and the other is white. Her friend sees her out and says, "You know your socks don't match, right? You're wearing one red sock and one white sock." The blonde responds, "That's so weird! I have another pair just like it in my drawer at home."
Are you a boy or a girl?
A young boy and girl are sitting in a bed, the boy asks the girl: "Are you a boy or girl?"
"I don't know" she giggled.
"I can check for you if you want" he smiled.
"Okay"
He went down under the sheets and she began giggling again as he came back up.
"You're a girl!"
"How do you know?"
"You're wearing pink socks!"
PERIOD!
how can you tell the Romanian woman was on her period?
she was wearing one sock
A rancher dies and leaves everything to his wife
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her..
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
A Polish joke
A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb p**... by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:
"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."
The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb p**...!".
Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"
The counterman says "This is a hardware store."
Topical Jokes for 9/5/14
(for best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host)
In Oregon, a veterinarian discovered 43 socks in a Great Dane's stomach. The dog was taken to the vet when the owner wanted to find out why his sock drawer was growling.
To ward off evil spirits, a woman in India has married a stray dog. The woman's biggest complaint about being married to a dog — is everything.
A new study has determined that wearing a bra, does not cause breast cancer. The study did find that going without a bra, causes cancer of the eyes.
Eminemn has been entered into the Guinness Book of World Records by having nearly 1,500 words in the song Rap God. And only 700 of those were the f-word.
The World Health Organization announced that doctors should use the blood of Ebola survivors to treat other patients. This was in response to the question, What's the best way to spread the Ebola virus?
(Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed 'em)
"Im not wearing socks, and I have the p**... to match."
this girl told me at a club last night.
A cowboy rides into a strange town and sees carpenters finishing work on a gallows....
He sees a guy tying up his horse in front of the saloon and calls, "Hey, are you folks gonna hang someone?"
The guy nods. "Yup. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."
The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"
"Well," says the guy, "the man always wears clothes made of brown paper. Brown paper shirts. Brown paper pants. Even brown paper socks."
The cowboy ponders this for a moment, then asks, "What are ya hangin' him for?"
"Rustling."
Boy comes up to his grandma...
and says, "Kids keep calling me a loser."
Grandma says, "Now, now, why would they call you a loser. Just look at you... blazer tucked in pants, pants tucked in socks, wearing sandals. You're perfect!"
Hillary, why are your socks so saggy?
I'm not wearing socks
My wife keeps complaining about me wearing socks while we have s**...…
I *suppose* a c**... would be better...
Wearing socks with sandals or flip-flops
Doing this is like a man getting a b**... from another man: It may feel good, but look down and you realize just how gay it is.
A boy is walking down the street when a man runs from the opposite direction holding a nice shirt.
"Why are you running?" asked the boy.
"I just got this really nice shirt," the man answered.
"Where from?" asked the boy.
"JC Penny," the man answered before resuming his run.
Shortly after, another man came running from the same direction as the first holding a nice pair of khakis, to which the same exchange occurred. This happened two more times, one holding a pair of socks and another a pair of shoes, until a man wearing just underwear ran by.
"Where are you going like that?" the boy asked incredibly.
"To get my clothes back. I'm JC Penny."
My wife keeps complaining about me wearing socks every time we have s**....
I said, Fine. I'll try a c**... from now on.
Brown Paper Larry
A cowboy rides into town and sees a few guys working on a gallows. The cowboy dismounts and calls out, "Hey, sheriff, when's the hangin'?"
The sheriff says, "Saturday. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."
The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"
"Well," says the sheriff, "the man always wears clothes made of brown paper. Brown paper shirts. Brown paper pants. Even brown paper socks."
The cowboy ponders this for a moment, then asks, "What are y'all hangin' him for?"
And the sheriff says, "Rustling."
A man requested a female painter to paint him in the n**....
"No" the talented artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing.
"I'll increase your fee two times," he said.
"No, no thanks!!"
"I'll give five times as much as you normally get."
Okay, said the artist, "but you have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes."