The Best 35 Wearing Glasses Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Wearing Glasses jokes. There are some wearing glasses jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these wearing glasses puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Wearing Glasses Jokes and Puns

I told a girl, "you look great without glasses"

She said, "but I don't wear glasses."

I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."

The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."

Girl: "I don't wear glasses."

Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."

Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.

What do you call a potato wearing glasses?

A spectator.

Police stops a man and says, "You're supposed to be wearing glasses"

Man: I have contacts.

Policeman: I don't give a damn who you know.


I told my wife she was prettier when she didn't wear glasses

She said "So are you"

Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses?

It helps with division.

Why do java coders wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

Why do JavaScripters wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

"Honey, I don't like how you look with these new glasses."

"But I don't wear glasses.."
"I know, but I do."

Why was the cell phone wearing glasses?

He had lost his contacts!

You can explore wearing glasses reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wearing glasses dad jokes. There are also wearing glasses puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


After his wife passed away, he stopped wearing his glasses. His sister saw him and exclaimed: Aww it must be so hard for you, nothing is worth seeing anymore after she's gone?

He said: What? No, I sold her jewelry and paid for a Lasik surgery.

Has COVID-19 caused you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

Why don't any American football players wear glasses?

Because it is a contact sport!

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."

The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."

The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

You may be entitled to...

Has Covid19 forced you to wear glasses & a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation!

My girlfriend told me I look better when I'm not wearing glasses

I told her she also looks better when I'm not wearing glasses.

Pretty sure she's not my girlfriend anymore.

My boyfriend (of an 11 year age difference) said this to me the other day...

True story: My boyfriend and I were taking a walk and he happened to be wearing his reading glasses (which I find adorable).

Me: Ooh, you look like a sexy teacher in those glasses. I think I need to stay after school...

Him: Yes, I'll show you how many times 38 goes into 27.

Did you hear about the guy whose license said he needed to wear glasses while driving?

He was pulled over by a cop one day and the cop tells him that he's going to jail for driving without his glasses.

"But officer I have contacts!"
"I don't care who you know buddy you're still going to jail!"


If Covid 19 has forced you or a loved one to wear a mask with your glasses,

You may be entitled to condensation.

A cop stoped a guy for speeding

"license and registration," he asked. After handing them over, the cop reviews his license, looks at his face, and says, "it says here you need glasses". The guy politely protested, "officer, I have contacts". The cop shot back, "I don't care whom you know; you still have to wear your glasses".

Why can't someone who wears glasses get a job?

They don't have any contacts!

The police officer inspected my drivers license carefully.

"Driver, I see you have a class 3 license that requires you to wear glasses whilst driving. I can't help but notice you are not wearing glasses."
"I've got contacts," I explained.
"I don't care who you know, driver," declared the officer. "You're under arrest."

:-P

Why don't football players wear glasses?

It's a contact sport.

I've decided to quit wearing my glasses for the rest of the year,

frankly I've seen enough.

A man walks into an eye doctor…..

……..he says hello to the doctor, and the doctor says the same. The doctor asks the man if he'd like to hear a joke. The man says yes. Why does the phone wears glasses? The doctor asked. The man shakes his head in confusion. The doctor continues, because he doesn't have any contacts . The man frustratedly said could you not have thought of a cornea joke?

Why doesn't Michael Flynn wear glasses?

Because he has Russian contacts.

I'm a programmer, wearing glasses

They are made to C#.

A nerd walked into bar

He wasn't wearing his glasses

Why don't NFL players wear glasses?

Because it's a contact sport.

Why do all math teachers wear glasses ?

Cuz it improves division

What state wears glasses?

Mississippi, because it has four eyes.

If you are a woman and you like men that wear glasses...

I am full of specs appeal.

The Job Interview

Three equally qualified applicants apply for a job. The interviewer decides to test their powers of observation.

He asks all three of them the same question. Look at me closely and tell me what you notice.

Applicant 1: If you don't mind me saying, one of your ears is higher than the other.

Well done!

Applicant 2: Are your ears uneven?

Yes, well done!

Applicant 3: Are you wearing contact lenses?

How'd you know that?

Well, you'd never wear glasses with ears like that.

The future

Someone asked me the other day if I could see where I would be in 5 years.

Come on man, I wear glasses.

I don't have 2020 vision.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the wearing glasses jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working wearing glasses piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes