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Wearing Black Jokes

118 wearing black jokes and hilarious wearing black puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wearing black that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Wearing Black Short Jokes

Short wearing black jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wearing black humour may include short black dress jokes also.

  1. Why do police officers wear blue? Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
  2. A child asks: "Mom, why do women wear white on their wedding day?" Mom: Well, they wear white because it's the happiest day of their life.
    Child: Then why does the man wear black?
  3. Black Guy in Nike The other day I saw a black guy in Nikes running down the street with a TV.
    I thought to myself "hey is that mine?"
    And then I remembered that mine wears Adidas
  4. I saw a black guy running down the street And he was carrying a TV. For a second I thought, *"hey, that looks like mine!"* but then I realized mine wears Adidas.
  5. I got an invitation to a black-tie-only wedding But when i showed up everyone were wearing tuxedos
  6. Knock, knock! Knock, knock!
    Who's there?
    Fornication.
    Fornication who?
    Fornication like this you should wear a black tie.
  7. kids at wedding kid: Mom, why does the bride wear white clothes?
    mother: because it is the happiest day in her life.
    kid: So, why the groom is wearing black?
  8. I saw a girl wearing a Black Panther shirt today. So I walk up to her and say, "Hey girl, Wakanda music do you listen to?"
  9. What's black and white and red all over? A white person wearing blackface with multiple stab wounds.
  10. Why did the old black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy? 'Cause if I gonna be impotent, I better look impotent,too.

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Wearing Black One Liners

Which wearing black one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wearing black? I can suggest the ones about wearing red and long black.

  1. Why do Nuns always wear Black & White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have.
  2. How many religious people wear black hoods? Nun
  3. Why do black men wear baggy trousers? Because their knee grows.
  4. What do women from Wakanda wear? Black Panthies
  5. What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black? A parka, son.
  6. Why does mia Khalifa only make black men wear condoms? She wants a dad for her kids
  7. An e-mail spammer walked into the bar. I know because he was wearing a black hat.
  8. How many people wear black hoods in a monastery? Nun
  9. If frank sinatra was black, what would he wear on his head? A dooby dooby doo rag
  10. What is it called when a black person wears whiteface? Going incognegro.
  11. Why do black people wear chains? because they are still used to them.
  12. What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world? Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)
  13. Why don't black guys wear felt coats? Because they attract the fuzz.
  14. Why do Ninjas always wear black? The skilled ones don't.
  15. Why do black rappers always wear big, long chain necklaces? Old habits die hard

Wearing Black Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about wearing black you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wearing tight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wearing black pranks.

There are three women. One is dating, one is engaged, and one is married. They decide to get k**... with their men and really pull out all the stops to make it extra special. The woman who is dating says, “Okay, so I bought black leather, red lipstick, fishnet stockings, and really got crazy. He loved it so much he thinks he’s in love.” The woman who is engaged says, “I showed up to his work after hours wearing only a red coat. Let’s just say he wants to move the wedding date up!” The woman who is married says, “Okay, I really went all out. I got a babysitter for the kids, and bought a black mask and a whip. My husband gets home, goes straight to the fridge, and grabs a beer. Then he plops down on the couch and says, 'Hey Batman! Where the f*c**... is dinner?!?'"

I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow."
The next day she came in wearing black!
When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.
Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.

An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away.
She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband.
The instant she saw him she started crying. The mortician walked over to comfort her.
Through her tears she explained that she was upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his fervent wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The mortician apologized and explained that traditionally they always put bodies in a black suit, but he’d see what he could arrange.
The next day she returned to the f**... parlor to have one last moment with Albert before the f**... the following day.
When the mortician pulled back the curtain, she managed a smile through her tears as Albert was resplendent in a smart blue suit. She said to the mortician, “Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful suit?”
“Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit,” the mortician replied.
“His wife was quite upset because she wanted him buried in the traditional black suit.”
Albert’s wife smiled at the undertaker.
“After that,” he continued, “it was just a matter of swapping the heads.”

Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club.
"We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair, so I'm wearing black," said Mrs. Smith.
"Oh my," said Mrs. Jones, "I'd better not go."

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation.
She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her.
The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the g**... the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready.
A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her n**... body.
He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat.
The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations.
When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?”
The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”

Q: Why do women wear black underwear?
A: They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my t**... black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
t**... black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his t**..., she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his t**... gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful.
Now listen very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?"

They say her wedding day is the happiest day of a woman's life, and she wears white...

So why does the man wear black on his wedding day?

College Engineer

So a Engineering student is studying outside when his colleague drives up in a shiny new motorcycle.
"Hey!" says the college student, "Where'd you get the motorcycle."
His colleague replied "You know it was the strangest thing. I'm walking around town when suddenly a beautiful blonde girl in a black skin tight jumpsuit drives up on this motorcycle. She takes one look at me, tore off her leather jumpsuit (which was the only thing she was wearing) points to the motorcycle and says 'take whatever you want'. So I thought about it and I took the motorcycle."
"Good choice" says the college student, "I don't think that jumpsuit was going to fit you anyways".

Are my t**... black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my t**... black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
t**... black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his t**..., she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his t**...
in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?"

Three ladies meet up for a drink

Three ladies meet up for a drink once a week.
The first lady says: "The other night, when my boyfriend got in from work, I surprised him. I was standing in the hallway, wearing these tall leather boots, a corset, long black silk gloves, and lots of makeup. I looked him in the eye and said 'Hello there, big boy.' He grabbed me, flung me to the floor and we made love right there and then and it was AMAZING."
Next week they meet up again.
The second lady says to the first one: "I took a tip from you. The other night my fiance came home from work, and I was standing in the bedroom wearing high heels, a tiny skirt, a see-through top and heavy makeup. I said 'Hello there. Big Boy.' and he flung me on the bed and it was unbelievable! He was like a wild animal!"
The third lady, married for ten years and seeing things get a bit stale in the bedroom, decides she needs a piece of the action.
She dresses up in thigh high leather boots, a tiny black skirt, a cleavage-tastic corset, long black gloves and she puts on the sluttiest makeup job in the history of s**... makeup jobs. She waits in the kitchen, thinking that when hubby gets home he may do something really sordid like make love to her right there on the kitchen table.
Sure enough, he comes home and walks into the kitchen.
She looks him in the eye and says: "Hello there. Big Boy."
He looks back at her and says: "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

b**... the best colour to wear to a f**... isn't it?

Just thinking which rollerblades to wear.

Canadian guy, American guy, ugly woman and gorgeous woman on a train.

A Canadian guy, American guy, a ugly woman and gorgeous woman are sitting in opposing seats on a train. After some initial introductions of where they're from and where they're going, they settle in to do their own thing and basically ignore each other.
Some time later, the train enters a tunel and all goes black, then suddenly they hear a big slap. As the train exits the tunnel there's the American with the side of his face all red wearing a look of shock.
In the mind of the ugly woman, "That American tried to g**... the gorgeous girl and she slapped him!"
In the mind of the gorgeous woman, "That American tried to g**... me, but got the ugly woman instead and she slapped him!"
In the mind of the American, "That Canadian tried to g**... the gorgeous woman and she tried to slap him but got me instead!"
In the mind of the Canadian, "I hope we go through another tunnel so I can slap that American again"

Listen very, very closely...

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my t**... black?" Embarrassed, she replies, "I don't know, sir. I'm here only to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again: "Nurse, please check for me. Are my t**... black?" Concerned, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his t**... in the other. She looks very closely and says, "Don't worry, sir, they look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very , very closely: Are my test results back?"

Three black women are getting on a plane..

They're lining up for their flight and the first black woman turns to the others and says "I'm wearing fluorescent yellow pants, cause if this plane crashes in the ocean they'll be able to find me first"
The second says "well I'm wearing fluorescent orange pants so if this plane crashes over land, they'll be able to find me first"
The third says "you two are s**..., I ain't wearing no pants! Cause it don't matter where we c**..., everybody knows they look for the black box first!"

t**.... (Not sure if a repost, found this joke on a fb page)

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my t**... black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my t**... black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his t**..., she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his t**... gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results -back?

A little boy at a wedding...

A little boy at a wedding asks his Mom, "Mommy how come bride's wear white dresses at their wedding." The Mom responds "Well because it's the happiest day of her life." The kid responds "Then how come the groom wears black?"

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my t**... black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
t**... black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his t**..., she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his t**...
gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?"

A little girl is attending her first wedding...

And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."
The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

Being in the recreation and natural resources field, I enjoy this every time I hear it

Due to the recent increase of encounters with grizzly and black bears in the area, all hikers should wear bells so you don't sneak up and startle nearby bears. Hikers should also carry pepper spray encase of an encounter. The two bears have different characteristics to their droppings and you can tell which is in the area. Black bear s**... will be smaller and will have berries and squirrel fur in it. Grizzly s**... will be larger, smell like pepper, and have bells in it.

Nurse, are mt t**... black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my t**... black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
t**... black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his t**..., she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his t**...
gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?"

How can you tell r**... kids form the art students?

r**... don't wear Black.

*Offensive* A man walking along the train tracks stumbles upon a genie's lamp

The man rubs the lamp & the genie grants him 3 wishes, but a young boy nearby witnesses it all unfold. As the man is about to make his wishes, a train passes by and the curious boy is unable to hear his wishes... when the train is done passing, the genie is gone, but the man is still there, counting money while getting a massage from a gorgeous woman.
The next day, the boy hears that the man is dead, hung from a tree by men wearing white robes, affiliated with the k**....
The boy confused, goes back to the train track where he saw the lamp and decides to rub it to see what happens... the genie comes out and says "sorry, I'm all out of wishes".
The boy says, OK, but tell me one thing, what did the man wish for yesterday? The genie replies: his first wish was to be rich, his second wish was to have a gorgeous wife, and his third wish was to be hung like a black man

How do you get a black man to wear a c**...?

You put a Nike logo on it.

An old man is lying bed in at the hospital...

An old man is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
Nurse, ' he mumbles from behind the mask, are my t**... black?
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.
He struggles to ask again, Nurse, please check for me. Are my t**... black?
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his t**..., she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his t**... in the other.
She looks very closely and says, There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are – my – test – results – back?

St. Peter...

Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two young b**... from da hood
arrive wearing dark hoodies and sagging pants.

St. Peter looks out through the Gates and said, "Wait here, I'll be right back."

St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.

God says to Peter, "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here.
This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Peter goes back to the Pearly Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh.
He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone."
"The guys wearing the hoodies?" asked God.

"No. The Pearly Gates."

Are My t**... Black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose.
A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge
bath.
'Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my t**... black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my t**...
black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from
worry about his t**..., she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls
back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand
and his t**... in the other.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with
them,
Sir!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly:
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very
closely......
'A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ??'

What's black and blue and usually disliked in the hip-hop community?

A white dude wearing a gold chain

Missing wife

A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife:
Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : -What is her height?
Husband : -Average, I guess.
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?.
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy.
Inspector : -Color of eyes?
Husband : -Never noticed.
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season.
Inspector : -What was she wearing?
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit.
Inspector : -Was she driving?
Husband : -Yes.
Inspector : -Color of the car?
Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door... and then the husband started crying...
Inspector: -Don't worry sir,...We will find your car.

Pavlov's birds

An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.

Black and Blue

A new widow, upon learning that her late husband had been dressed in a black suit for burial, told the f**... director she wanted a blue suit instead; it was his favorite color and she would pay extra for the change.
On the day of the f**..., there was her husband in his coffin with a form-fitting blue suit.
Afterwards, she asked the undertaker about the extra charge. He replied, No charge. Glad to do it for you! You see, the same day you asked me about that, another man's body arrived, wearing a beautiful blue suit. I asked his widow, and she wasn't particular about the suit.
So I switched the heads.

What did Black-Della wear?

Whatever her m**... chooses.

An old man dies.

His wife takes him to the f**... home, and the director tells her "Do you have any special request?"
The wife says "Well, yes. As you can see he is wearing a black suit. He loved blue. Please, not matter the cost, get him a blue suit."
"No problem", the f**... director says.
The day after, the wife walks in and sees the husband in a perfect, tailor made blue suit.
"That's perfect!" she says. "How much do I owe you?"
"Oh, nothing", the director responds.
"Why nothing? It surely must have cost something!"
"See, yesterday another woman whose husband had died came in. He was the same size and same height as your husband, and was wearing a blue suit. She wanted a black suit on her husband.
So, I did the logical thing, and swapped the heads".

Why don't black girls wear underwear to cookouts?

To keep the flies off the fried chicken.

An pakistani in the US fears for his safety

Email note from Abdul in Washington to his friend Ahmed in Pittsburgh:
I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.
So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in the centre. I grew a beard and only wear turbans in my freetime.
Now, the Washington Police, the FBI, the National Security Agency, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in the world are all watching my house 24x7x365.
My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.
I have never felt safer.

Why do m**... girls love black guys?

more satisfaction at night for wearing a ninja suit all day.

why do italian women wear long black gloves?

to cover up their long black hair

What does a black guy wearing a fedora say to greet people?

Sup m'**...

goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls...

Except ginger goths. They go n**....

Husband: I lost my wife says to Inspector

Husband: I lost my wife; she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector: what is her height?
Husband: I never checked.
Inspector: Slim or Healthy?
Husband: Not Slim can be healthy.
Inspector: color of eyes?
Husband: Never Notice.
Inspector: color of hair?
Husband: Changes According to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Inspector: Was she driving?
Husband: yes.
Inspector: Color of the car? ...
Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 2.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight- speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door….an then the Husband started crying…
Inspector: Don not worry sir,… we will find your car.

There are a mother and child at a wedding.

The child turns to her mother and asks "Mommy, why is the Bride wearing white?" The mother quietly responds "Because, white is seen as the color of happiness, and this is the happiest day of her life!" The child ponders this for a moment, and then turns to her mother again. "Then why is the Groom wearing black?"

How do you spot a blind guy at Olympic Beach VolleyBall?

It's not hard and they're usually wearing black and white stripes.

I'm wearing black today

to mourn the death of the United States

In the locker room after the game...

The guys have finished playing, have showered, and are getting dressed. Dennis pulls out a black lace bra and p**... and starts to put them on.
His team mates begin laughing, and making fun of him. The coach asks, "Hey, Dennis! Since when did you start wearing women's underwear?"
Dennis replies, "Since my wife found them under the passenger seat of my car."

Wearing White ...

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the bride wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
The boys thinks about this, and then says, "Well then why is the groom wearing black..."

I saw a black man...

I saw a black man in Nikes running down the street carrying a 55" TV and I thought to myself, "Is that mine?"
Then I remembered that mine wears Reebok.

Adam in the Eden must be a black man

because he lives in a plantation with nothing to wear and has no idea where his father is.

Where is my wife

A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.

A child asks his mother

why the bride wears white on her wedding day. His mother responds, "Because white represents happiness, and that's the happiest day of her life!" The child thinks for a while and then asks, "Then why does the groom wear black?"

Why does the k**... wear those pointy hats?

White Wizard Hat: +10 to racist spells, -15 to black magic. It's all about the stats, man.

Why Did The Queen Wear Black Gloves To Princess Diana's f**...?

The white ones were covered in brake fluid.

As a man i avoid wearing pink shirts or anything too feminine ..

thats why my bra and p**... are always black.

What do you call a morbidly black clothes wearing young lady with a big b**...?

Gothicc

Why do female pallbearers wear black underwear after s**...?

To mourn the passing of the stiff they buried last night.

The best way to avoid getting bitten by a black widow...

...is not wearing a red tie to her Crip husband's f**....

Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If Imma *be* impotant, Imma *look* impotant!

There are extreme biases everywhere you look these days, for example..

It's totally okay for everyone paint red freckles on their face for Saint Patrick's Day, but when I wear black face on MLK Day it's a hate crime.

3 wives want to decide what to wear

The first one says, "My husband has black hair so I will wear a black dress"
The second one says, "My husband has grey hair so I will wear a grey dress"
The third wife, on hear this starts panicking.
When asked she tell the other two, "My husband is bald"

„Mom, I'm almost 18 now. Ashley and Nicole always wear the hottest outfits in school and their parents don't mind. So please, please can I wear the short black skirt and the cute white top tomorrow?

„For the last time Robert, no!!!

Three supermodels are on a plane that's going down over the Atlantic Ocean

While they're putting on their life preservers, they start talking about what they're going to wear.
The white woman says I'm going to wear my hot pink bikini, because when they rescue us they'll easily be able to see it and hot pink really accentuates my features.
The Hispanic woman says I'm going to wear my bright yellow bikini because it really brings out my eyes and it's much more visible than hot pink is so I'll be rescued first.
The black woman says I'm going to go n**...
Perplexed, the other two ask why.
She answers because in a plane c**... the first thing they look for is the little black box!

A captain is giving orders to soldiers staying in line

After finishing he asked if anyone has a question to ask.
One of the soldiers asks I'm sorry Sir, but why do your boots have different colours, one black and one brown?
Captain realizes that he really has two different boots and says that he will go home and change them, and that soldiers should wait here till he comes back
One hour passes, all soldiers are exhausted, and finally the captain appears, sad, and still wearing different boots
A soldier asks why didn't he change the boots, why are you still wearing one black and one brown boot?
The captain replies, I couldn't find a normal pair at home, the other two are also different