Wear Mask Jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, people convinced her that it was Halloween every day so she would wear a mask.

TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a b**... convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask

Whoops, wrong sub

A mugger

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.

My friend was r**... by a teenager mutant ninja turtle.

He wasn't wearing a mask, so we don't know which one did it.

Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and put a gun to his head. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can't do this — I'm a US Congressman!"

"Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"

Late one night a mugger wearing a mask !!!

Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can't do this – I'm a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!

Do you know how I know that I'm ugly?

The guy who was mugging me took off his mask and made me wear it!

My wife went into hospital last night after an acid attack, "Will I still be attractive?" She sobbed.

The doctor had a quick look, and said, "Sure, but you may have to have some f**... reconstruction and wear a mask.... How does that sound to you?"
"Not good!" My wife replied, "The acid only hit me on my leg."

Meanwhile at the s**... Donor Bank

A guy walks into a s**... donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands for her to open the s**... bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a s**... bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the s**... samples. The guy says "Take one of those s**... samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are s**... samples???" , "DO IT!".
So the nurse s**... it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard is it ?."

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.
But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

I can't believe Comic Con 2020 got cancelled because of covid 19!

It was the one group of people who were 100% guaranteed to wear masks.

A shy horse wants to go to the bar and have a drink.

But he does not want to be seen in public. So he puts on a a donkey mask. Wearing the donkey mask, the horse walks into the bar.
The Chinese bartender says, "Hey, why the wrong face?"

The mugger

One night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this- I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"

Confucius say, he who wear mask alone in car

also wear c**... alone in bed.

I think after the pandemic ends I'm still gonna wear masks when I exercise.

It's a bit of a running gag.

You may be entitled to...

Has Covid19 forced you to wear glasses & a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation!

Has COVID-19 caused you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

I completely support people's choice to not wear masks and gather in large groups during a pandemic.

So would Darwin.

Yo Mamma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

Doesn't wearing a mask make you more likely to get the virus?

After all, your face is covid.

Your momma so ugly

Governments across the world conspired to spread a pandemic to get her to wear a mask.

I thought that people getting mad over wearing a mask was not real, but today it happened to me as well. He told me Im an idiot for wearing a mask during a situation like this..

Like dude w**..., you're a dentist, aren't you like a doctor or something?

I wear a mask. Not because I want to, but because it is considerate of others and helps stop the spread of particulates.

I also wear underwear. Not because I want to, but...

What do you call it when you see people wearing masks everywhere?

2020 vision

Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.
EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.

Thou shalt wear a mask

Hygenesis 20:20

Your mother is proud of you for wearing a mask

But she is also disappointed because look how nice you would have looked everyday if you became a surgeon.

Walmart has announced it will now require shoppers to wear masks in its stores.

However, pants will still be optional.

People need to calm down about Walmart making wearing a mask mandatory.

You can still wear your pajamas.

I finally figured why Trump decided to wear a mask!!

Some one told him it was made from Ivanka's underwear.

Wear a mask and save people's lives!

If they recognize you, you'll have to kill them.

I'm gonna lose my mind if someone says they cant breathe or talk wearing a face mask

I had a girl in my basement for seven months wearing a b**... and she's fine

Say what you will about bank robbers...

At least they wear masks

I no longer need to wear a mask

Now that I have my COVID 19 positive shirt people juts avoid being near me

While living alone and always wearing a mask in public, I grew a mustache without anyone knowing.

It's my secret 'stache.

Having a big nose isn't a good enough excuse to not wear a mask.

Take me for example. I still wear underwear.

Saw a beautiful g**... bus and I smiled, it didn't creep her out

Wearing mask does help.

My wife keeps asking me how her clothes look. Today she asked me if she should wear a mask.

As usual I said, "Yeah, it makes you look better." Apparently, this time it wasn't the correct answer.

Never in my wildest dreams I thought that

I would wear a mask to bank and ask for money

A group of anti-maskers looked at me disgustingly

I don't know if it was because I was wearing a mask or nothing but a mask.

Times sure have changed. Back in my day...

It was a crime to walk into a bank, wearing a mask, and ask for money.

Yo mama so ugly

Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask

George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how s**... the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.

If Covid 19 has forced you or a loved one to wear a mask with your glasses,

You may be entitled to condensation.

It's finally October, and you know what that means!

Americans might actually start wearing masks.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Jason Voorhees?

Both are scary people but Jason knows how to wear a mask!

If president Trump actually dies from covid you won't see me smiling

Because I will be wearing a mask

What's the difference between a Trump rally and a k**... rally?

A k**... rally encourages to wear masks.

I was told that wearing a mask and gloves would be enough during the corona virus pandemic

but when I got to the store I was told that pants and a shirt were also required

Everybody wearing masks at Walmart like it's no big deal,

but suddenly I'm the w**... for adding tights and a cape.

The baby blue whale is the 2nd largest baby in the world

Right after people who are still complaining about wearing masks.

Someone tried to tell me a joke about Covid earlier...

...but they were wearing a mask so I didn't catch it.

Dogs are getting stressed and confused because they've noticed their owners are now wearing masks

Cats are unaffected though as they're yet to notice their owners at all

I went into a Starbucks earlier and asked the barista why they were wearing a surgical mask.

They replied: "I'm not, it's a coughy filter"

A man is shopping without a mask on....

Man: *looks at store items without wearing a mask*
Shop Keeper: Hey sir, you can't shop hear without a mask on.
Man: Nah I have a Medical condition that makes it hard for me to breathe.
Shop Keeper: Oh, what condition?
Man: Covid-19

Masks are like bra.

If the strap slipped and it is not at place, people keep pointing out
and if you entirely forgot to wear one in public, people go on staring like h**....

A c**... and a mask are sitting together on a park bench.

A c**... and a mask are sitting together on a park bench. The c**... looks at the mask, and says they won't wear you either, huh?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because the other chickens weren't wearing masks

How do you get a trump supporter to wear a mask?

Convince them to storm the capitol building