The Best 79 Wear Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Wear jokes. There are some wear peckers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these wear wear protection puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Wear Jokes and Puns

When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do.

On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.

Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Wear joke, Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only we

When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a condom if I ever had sex.

He said, Any person willing to have sex with you will sleep with almost anyone else.

So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore...

...I'm not really sure how I feel about it


Why does Ariel wear seashells?

Because she can't fit into D shells

What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?

Flop-Flops

Wear joke, What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?

Why doesn't Magneto wear his old costume anymore?

Because days of fuchsia passed

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...

She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White Vans.

I'll be here all week.

You can explore wear wore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wear apparel dad jokes. There are also wear puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses?

It helps with division.

My dad was showing me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex.

The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.

When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body

When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body....men are so polite they only look at the covered parts

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn't want to be spotted

What kind of shoes do paedophiles wear?

White vans

Wear joke, What kind of shoes do paedophiles wear?

From grandma: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In memory of all the faces that were buried there.

Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.

" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"

" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."

" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"

" - Gold, obviously!"

" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."

Why don't witches wear underwear?

... to get a better grip


Why do electricians wear pants?

Because they hate shorts.

What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?

Oakley Dokelys

Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

I told my wife she was prettier when she didn't wear glasses

She said "So are you"

Why is it best to wear leather when sneaking around?

It's made of hide

I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex.

Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.

"No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."

"Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"

"Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."

When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies.....

Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.

What Size Underwear Do Feminists Wear?

#Double Standard.

Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris

Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.

Why do police officers wear blue?

Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

My girlfriend came home and told me to take off her shirt so I did

Then she told me to take off her skirt so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra and panties so I did. Then she told me to never wear her things again

Why don't women wear skirts in the winter?

Chapped lips

Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider.

On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."

Girl: "I don't wear glasses."

Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."

If your boat turns upside down you can wear it on your head

It's capsized.

I told a girl, "you look great without glasses"

She said, "but I don't wear glasses."

I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."

Wife tells her husband

Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."

Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."

Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."

Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."

The man came home early from work to find his wife lying naked on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.

I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she

sobbed.

Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that

he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice

pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi

there Tom, the green silk gown…

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body, but I'm so polite...

...I only look at the covered parts.

Why does Ariel wear seashells?

Because B were too small and D were too large

What does a slutty horse wear on its hooves?

Whoreshoes.

What does a programmer wear?

Whatever is in the dress code.

I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit

But that's just my two scents

Why did the mermaid wear seashells?

She grew outta her beeshells!!!

The police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case?" The officer responded, "I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...

"Please, just wear your police uniform."

A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit.

The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.

The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Thunderwear.

My wife asked me, If I die, will you re-marry?

I replied, I don't know love, I don't think about those sorts of things.

Well If you did, would she live in our house? she asked

I said, I don't know, I haven't thought about it!

Then she asked Would you let her wear my clothes?

I replied Nah she's not your size

A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.

"Here, try these on," he says.

"What? Why?" she says.

"Just put them on," he insists.

"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."

"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this marriage. Don't you forget it."

"Got it," she says, slipping off her panties and handing them to him. "Here, try these on."

He holds them up and sees how tiny they are.

"Are you kidding?" he says. "I can't get into your panties!"

"That's right. And that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."

Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic

Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.

What's the difference between a Trump rally and a Klan rally?

A Klan rally encourages to wear masks.

Give a man a shirt, and he'll wear it once

Tell a man he looks good in it, and he'll wear it for a lifetime

Your mom is so ugly...

That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask

In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point."

We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today

Why did the mermaid wear seashells?

Because she grew out of b shells

Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious.

Now, we all know that Mahatma Gandhi didn't wear shoes when he walked, so he had rather large calluses on his feet. He also did not eat much, making him rather frail, and due to his diet, his breath was unpleasant, to say the least.

He was a super-callused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask.

CDC studies have shown they provide no defense

Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing, I said to my wife.

She said, Wear your own then.

Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water....

.....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.

My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a Boris is doing his best t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her!

I'm curious to see what happens when she goes outside.

What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas?

The Taliban requires women to wear masks

Why do mermaids wear sea shells?

B shells aren't big enough.

I have 100% legit proof that masks don't do shit!

My wife went on a trip to her sister's.
On the plane they made her wear a mask.
Didn't do shit - she got chlamydia anyway!

My 10 year old son made this one up. Why doesn't a snowman wear snow pants?

Because his snow balls are too big.

Robin said to Batman...

"Batman, why do you wear dark colors?"

"Easy Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"

"Then why do I wear bright colors?"

"It also makes me less likely to be shot."

My son is taking part in a social experiment where he has to wear a t-shirt saying "GO VEGAN" for 2 weeks and see how people react.

So far, he has been punched, spit on and a bottle thrown at him!

I'm curious to see what happens when he goes outside.

(My 6 year old's first homemade joke) What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed?

Answer: Paw-jamas

I wear same shoe size as my girlfriend

and people say we are not solemates

My daughter said she needed adult supervision

I told her she'd have to find someone else because I wear corrective lenses

Why do Russians wear white armbands

so they have something to wave when they surrender

emos and goths should wear more gold

its pretty metal

*class action lawsuit* If COVID has forced you or a loved one to wear a mask with your glasses…

you may be entitled to condensation.

What type of earrings does a basketball wear?

Hoops

I forgot to wear a mask in the local supermarket.

The manager told me to never show my face there again.

Why don't electricians wear underwear?

They hate shorts.

What does an octopus wear in winter?

A coat of arms

Why does Aeriel always wear Sea Shells?

Because D shells were too big

I saw someone wearing sunglasses indoors today and asked him why he does it.

He gave a good explanation but I felt his viewpoint was too polarized for me.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the wear sketchers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working wear baggy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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