wear Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wear puns

When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

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If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do.

On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

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Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy,

It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

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Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

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When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a condom if I ever had sex.

He said, Any person willing to have sex with you will sleep with almost anyone else.

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Wearing Crocs is a lot like getting a blowjob from a guy.

They both feel really good until you look down and realize you're gay.

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I didn't know what to wear to the premature ejaculation club

So i just came in my pants

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What Size Underwear Do Feminists Wear?

#Double Standard.

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I told a girl, "you look great without glasses"

She said, "but I don't wear glasses."

I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."

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What does a programmer wear?

Whatever is in the dress code.

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What does a slutty horse wear on its hooves?

Whoreshoes.

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When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body, but I'm so polite...

...I only look at the covered parts.

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The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."

Girl: "I don't wear glasses."

Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."

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A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...

She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."

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When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body

When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body....men are so polite they only look at the covered parts

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Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

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What kind of shoes does Voldemort force his prostitutes to wear?

Whore Crocs

(I'm sorry)

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I didn't know what to wear to the Premature Ejaculation Anonymous meeting...

So I just came in my pants.

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Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.



" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"



" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."



" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"



" - Gold, obviously!"



" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."

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What does wearing crocs and getting a blowjob from a man have in common?

They both feel good until you look down and realize you're gay.

TAKE THAT CROC LOBBY #againstbigcroc

I understand if I get downvoted.

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The man came home early from work to find his wife lying naked on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…

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My girlfriend came home and told me to take off her shirt so I did

Then she told me to take off her skirt so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra and panties so I did. Then she told me to never wear her things again

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When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies.....

Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.

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Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

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Wearing Crocs is like getting a blow job from a dude...

It feels really good until you look down, and realize how gay you are.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn't want to be spotted

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An Arab boy is speaking with his father.

Father, why do we wear these shawls on our head?

To keep the harsh sun off our scalp He answers.

What about these long robes father?

To protect us from the blistering wind that carries stinging sand. Father says patiently.

And our sandals?

To shield our feet from the searing rocks of course.

Then why the fuck do we live in England, father?

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Why do police officers wear blue?

Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.

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Why does Ariel wear seashells?

Because she can't fit into D shells

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Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?

Oakley Dokelys

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What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?

Flop-Flops

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Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider.

On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

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Wearing crocs is like getting your dick sucked by a man.

Feels great and then you look down and realize you're gay.

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Why do Java Programmers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#.

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What are the most funny Wear jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wear? Well, here are the best Wear dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wear pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes