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Wear Jokes

194 wear jokes and hilarious wear puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wear that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a comical new way to accessorize your party wardrobe, look no further! This article introduces unique, funny ideas for "wearing jokes" - mixing witty puns and slogans with camo, lace and other materials to create truly eye-catching, conversation-starting outfits. Don't forget to wear a mask – or, if you're feeling daring, why not try wearing a condom! Discover the possibilities with this hilarious fashion trend!

Best Short Wear Jokes

Short wear jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wear humour may include short wore jokes also.

  1. If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
    On the other hand, you don't.
  2. Give a man a shirt, and he'll wear it once Tell a man he looks good in it, and he'll wear it for a lifetime
  3. Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
    Batman doesn't want to get shot.
  4. In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suit you all wear today
  5. I dont believe in hitting my children as punishment So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead
  6. How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask? Ask them who won the election.
  7. What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas? The Taliban requires women to wear masks
  8. Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water.... .....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
  9. I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So I asked them if they were gay. They promptly arrested me
  10. Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga … And 100% of men don't care.

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Wear joke, Surveys show that 80% of women who wear <a href="/yoga-jokes.html" title="Yoga jokes">yoga</a> pants


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about wear can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of wear puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Wear One Liners

Which wear one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wear? I can suggest the ones about worn and suit.

  1. I saw 2 guys wearing matching outfits and asked if they were gay. They arrested me.
  2. What Size underwear Do Feminists Wear? #Double Standard.
  3. What does a programmer wear? Whatever is in the dress code.
  4. Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because she grew out of b shells
  5. Your mom is so ugly... That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask
  6. Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition.
  7. Why did the mermaid wear seashells? She grew outta her beeshells!!!
  8. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope
  9. Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts? He doesn't want to be spotted
  10. Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted
  11. What do you call a French guy wearing sandals? Philippe Philoppe
  12. Why does Ariel wear seashells? Because she can't fit into D shells
  13. Why does Aeriel always wear Sea Shells? Because D shells were too big
  14. Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
  15. What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear? Oakley Dokelys

Wear Mask Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear mask jokes and even better wear mask puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
  • Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
    She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
  • COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.
  • Coughy Filter Joke The barista at Starbucks was wearing a face mask.
    Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
    She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter.
  • PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask. CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
  • There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask It's called Natural Selection
  • WARNING!! They said you only have to wear masks and gloves to go grocery shopping but they LIED! Apparently you have to wear clothes too.
  • I noticed a barista working alone in a small shop was still wearing a mask. She said, "this is a coughy filter"
  • Your momma so ugly Governments across the world conspired to spread a pandemic to get her to wear a mask.
  • I have 100% solid proof that masks don't work! My wife went on a business trip and on the plane they made her wear a mask -- and now she has chlamydia!

Wear Underwear Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear underwear jokes and even better wear underwear puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing, I said to my wife. She said, Wear your own then.
  • Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
  • Why don't witches wear underwear? ... to get a better grip
  • Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear Because it keeps their ankles warm
  • I wear a mask. Not because I want to, but because it is considerate of others and helps stop the spread of particulates. I also wear underwear. Not because I want to, but...
  • I told my wife her new underwear was too tight and much too revealing. She said to me Wear your own, then .
  • Why dont witches wear underwear? So they can get a good grip on the broomstick
  • Having a big nose isn't a good enough excuse to not wear a mask. Take me for example. I still wear underwear.
  • Why don't chickens wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their faces.
  • Did you hear about the fight between Chuck Norris and Superman? The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside

Wear Dresses Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear dresses jokes and even better wear dresses puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How does an Indian girl tell her family she will be wearing a Western dress to her wedding? "Sorry, not Sari."
  • Why is Santa Claus always a man? Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.
  • Why do midgets wear short dresses? So they can show off a little leg.
  • A man in a bra. A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.
  • My wife hates it when I show her old pictures of what she used to wear. She has post traumatic dress disorder.
  • What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog? The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants
  • Why do women wear white wedding dresses? So the dishwasher can match the refrigerator and stove
  • Facing the consequences A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.
  • Q: Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? A: They could get chapped lips!
  • What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.

Wear A Condom Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear a condom jokes and even better wear a condom puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I wear camouflage condoms So they can't see me coming
  • What do masks and condoms have in common? It's safe to come inside if you're wearing one
  • Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? So she wouldn't get hearing aids.
  • Wear camouflage condoms Never let em see you coming
  • "Hey honey, my olympic condoms arrived.." "Hey honey, my olympic condoms arrived, I think I'll wear gold."
    "Maybe you should wear silver and come second for a change!"
  • Condoms aren't 100% safe. My buddy was wearing one when he got hit by a bus.
  • I don't think condoms are 100% safe My friend was wearing one and he got hit by a bus!
  • My girlfriend said that once we get married I can stop wearing condoms!! Guess you don't need an umbrella if it's never gonna rain...
  • I'm so selfish.... I wear ribbed condoms inside out.
  • I dumped my blonde girlfriend after she tried to poke holes in one of the condoms. She might have gotten away with it had I not been wearing it at the time.

Party Wear Jokes

Here is a list of funny party wear jokes and even better party wear puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just got kicked out of the weirdest Gender Reveal party.. Apparently we had to wear pants...
  • What did the house wear to the party? Address.
  • What does a house wear to a party? Address
  • My friend Ara and I agreed to meet up a mask party. When I got there she was wearing a mask completely made of Makeup.
    I looked at her and said, That's some nice mask Ara.
  • I often go to fancy dress parties dressed as a shark.... Quite honestly, the novelty is wearing a little fin
  • I was enjoying myself at a party when I noticed a few flies wearing wrist watches Time flies when you're having fun
  • I hate it when a whole heap of people wearing cargo pants unexpectedly gather around me and get all excited. It's like "Boo! Khaki party!"
  • A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was I'll be Bach
  • Why should you wear a burka to a party? You'll have a blast
  • Dave was at a Halloween party with his wife last night.
    His friend said to Dave , "That certainly is a frightening mask that your wife is wearing."
    "She's not wearing a mask." replied Dave
Wear joke, Dave was at a Halloween party with his wife last night.

Laughable Wear Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about wear you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean cloth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make wear prank.

When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a c**... during s**....

All the slides were just pictures of me.

When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a c**... if I ever had s**....

He said, Any person willing to have s**... with you will sleep with almost anyone else.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian

are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore...

...I'm not really sure how I feel about it

Do 90-year-old men wear boxers or briefs?

Depends.

What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?

Flop-Flops

Why do java coders wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

Why doesn't Magneto wear his old costume anymore?

Because days of fuchsia passed

Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt?

He didn't want to be spotted.

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...

She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."

Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses?

It helps with division.

My dad was showing me pictures of why to wear condoms during s**....

The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.

When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body

When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body....men are so polite they only look at the covered parts

What does the sun and cleavage have in common?

You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.

What kind of shoes do paedophiles wear?

White vans

From grandma: Why do women wear p**... with flowers on them?

In memory of all the faces that were buried there.

My secretary doesn't wear any bra or p**... to work.

But he types really well.

Why don't they teach Driver's Ed and s**... education on the same day in the Middle East?

They don't want to wear out the camel.

Why do electricians wear pants?

Because they hate shorts.

Why did the Broncos wear white jerseys in Super Bowl 50?

Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.

Why do mermaids wear seashells?

Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.

I told my wife she was prettier when she didn't wear glasses

She said "So are you"

What does a house wear?

Address!

Why is it best to wear leather when sneaking around?

It's made of hide

Why is women's soccer so rare?

It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

"Honey, I don't like how you look with these new glasses."

"But I don't wear glasses.."
"I know, but I do."

I always wear a helmet during i**... cause I'm a firm believer in safe s**....

Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.

Why does waldo wear stripes?

So he isn't spotted.

Why dont witches wear p**...?

So they can grip the broom.

Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope.

That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

"No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."

"Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"
"Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She didn't wear a seatbelt.

A man walks into a store to buy condoms

He notices that there are Olympic condoms on sale. He returns home and tells his wife, "Honey I bought Olympic condoms for us tonight!"
Wife: What's so special about them.
Husband: Well, there's a gold one, a silver one and a bronze one.
Wife: Which one are you gonna wear tonight?
Husband: The gold one of course!
Wife: Why don't you wear the silver one, it would be nice if you came second for a change.

Why don't witches wear p**...?

Better grip

Stop spreading the fake news that women are forced to wear hijabs.

It's their free choice between wearing them or getting s**... to death.

When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies.....

Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.

Why do police officers wear blue?

Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.

Why does Superman have a lower case "s" on his chest?

Because not all heroes wear caps.

My girlfriend came home and told me to take off her shirt so I did

Then she told me to take off her skirt so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra and p**... so I did. Then she told me to never wear her things again

Why don't women wear skirts in the winter?

Chapped lips

Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider.

On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.

The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."

Girl: "I don't wear glasses."
Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."

Why do JavaScripters wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

What shoes does a r**... wear?

White vans.

If your boat turns upside down you can wear it on your head

It's capsized.

Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?

Employee discounts

I told a girl, "you look great without glasses"

She said, "but I don't wear glasses."
I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."

Wife tells her husband

Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."
Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."
Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."
Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."

What kind of sweater do cops wear?

A pullover.

The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…

I didn't know what to wear to my first Masturbaters Anonymous meeting the other day...

So I just came in my pants

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body, but I'm so polite...

...I only look at the covered parts.

Olympic condoms (n**...)

A boyfriend buys Olympic colored condoms, and tells his girlfriend it's because there are 3 colors Gold, Silver and Bronze. He tells her "tonight i think i'll wear the gold" she replied "i wish you would wear the silver one". "Why?" the boyfriend asks. "It would be great if you came second for a change!"

What does an indecisive person wear?

Flip Flops.

Why does Ariel wear seashells?

Because B were too small and D were too large

I once dated a twin

Years ago I dated a twin.
My friend asked me 'how do you tell them apart?'
I explained 'Well, Rebecca has agreed to wear green nail polish every 2nd day...and Stephen has a d**...'

What does a s**... horse wear on its hooves?

Whoreshoes.

I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit

But that's just my two scents

Two guys are changing in a locker room, one is putting on lace knickers

"Since when do you wear womens pants?"
"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!"

The police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the m**... case?" The officer responded, "I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...

"Please, just wear your police uniform."

A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.

The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.

The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware?

I don't know but Alaska.

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Thunderwear.

When wearing a bikini women show 90% of their body.

Men are really polite to only look at the covered parts.

My wife asked me, If I die, will you re-marry?

I replied, I don't know love, I don't think about those sorts of things.
Well If you did, would she live in our house? she asked
I said, I don't know, I haven't thought about it!
Then she asked Would you let her wear my clothes?
I replied Nah she's not your size

Wear joke, My wife asked me,  If I die, will you re-marry?

jokes about wear

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these wear jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.