All the slides were just pictures of me.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.
Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot.
He said, Any person willing to have sex with you will sleep with almost anyone else.
#Double Standard.
She said, "but I don't wear glasses."
I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."
Whatever is in the dress code.
Whoreshoes.
...I only look at the covered parts.
Girl: "I don't wear glasses."
Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."
She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."
When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body....men are so polite they only look at the covered parts
The Spanish Inquisition.
A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.
" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"
" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."
" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"
" - Gold, obviously!"
" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."
What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…
Then she told me to take off her skirt so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra and panties so I did. Then she told me to never wear her things again
Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.
Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.
He doesn't want to be spotted
Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
Because she can't fit into D shells
Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Oakley Dokelys
Flop-Flops
On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.
But that's just my two scents
She outgrew her B shells.
Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."
Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."
Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."
Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."
The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
"Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"
"Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."
White Vans.
I'll be here all week.
In memory of all the faces that were buried there.
She said "So are you"
White vans
Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.
...I'm not really sure how I feel about it
Because she is too big for B-shells
Because B were too small and D were too large
Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
It's capsized.
It's made of hide
... to get a better grip
Chapped lips
Because days of fuchsia passed
A pullover.
It helps with division.
So he isn't spotted.
So I just came in my pants
Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
So they can grip the broom.
Medium.
You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.
It's their free choice between wearing them or getting stoned to death.
Employee discounts
Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.
Because they don't C#
Because they don't C#
White vans.
She didn't wear a seatbelt.
He didn't want to be spotted.
"Since when do you wear womens pants?"
"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!"
He notices that there are Olympic condoms on sale. He returns home and tells his wife, "Honey I bought Olympic condoms for us tonight!"
Wife: What's so special about them.
Husband: Well, there's a gold one, a silver one and a bronze one.
Wife: Which one are you gonna wear tonight?
Husband: The gold one of course!
Wife: Why don't you wear the silver one, it would be nice if you came second for a change.
Better grip
Because not all heroes wear caps.
Years ago I dated a twin.
My friend asked me 'how do you tell them apart?'
I explained 'Well, Rebecca has agreed to wear green nail polish every 2nd day...and Stephen has a dick'
"But I don't wear glasses.."
"I know, but I do."
Depends.
Flip Flops.
Address!
Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis
But he types really well.
A boyfriend buys Olympic colored condoms, and tells his girlfriend it's because there are 3 colors Gold, Silver and Bronze. He tells her "tonight i think i'll wear the gold" she replied "i wish you would wear the silver one". "Why?" the boyfriend asks. "It would be great if you came second for a change!"
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