Laughable Wear Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a c**... during s**....
All the slides were just pictures of me.
If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.
Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?
Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot.
When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a c**... if I ever had s**....
He said, Any person willing to have s**... with you will sleep with almost anyone else.
So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore...
...I'm not really sure how I feel about it
Why does Ariel wear seashells?
Because she can't fit into D shells
What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?
Flop-Flops
Why doesn't Magneto wear his old costume anymore?
Because days of fuchsia passed
Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?
Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.
A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...
She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."
My dad was showing me pictures of why to wear condoms during s**....
The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
You can explore wear wore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wear wear protection dad jokes. There are also wear puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body
When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body....men are so polite they only look at the covered parts
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted
What kind of shoes do paedophiles wear?
White vans
From grandma: Why do women wear p**... with flowers on them?
In memory of all the faces that were buried there.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
... to get a better grip
Why do electricians wear pants?
Because they hate shorts.
What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?
Oakley Dokelys
Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?
The Spanish Inquisition.
I told my wife she was prettier when she didn't wear glasses
She said "So are you"
Why is it best to wear leather when sneaking around?
It's made of hide
I always wear a helmet during i**... cause I'm a firm believer in safe s**....
Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.
"No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."
"Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"
"Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."
When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies.....
Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.
What Size Underwear Do Feminists Wear?
#Double Standard.
Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris
Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
Why do police officers wear blue?
Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
My girlfriend came home and told me to take off her shirt so I did
Then she told me to take off her skirt so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra and p**... so I did. Then she told me to never wear her things again
Why don't women wear skirts in the winter?
Chapped lips
Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider.
On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.
The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."
Girl: "I don't wear glasses."
Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."
If your boat turns upside down you can wear it on your head
It's capsized.
I told a girl, "you look great without glasses"
She said, "but I don't wear glasses."
I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."
Wife tells her husband
Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."
Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."
Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."
Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."
The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.
What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body, but I'm so polite...
...I only look at the covered parts.
Why does Ariel wear seashells?
Because B were too small and D were too large
What does a s**... horse wear on its hooves?
Whoreshoes.
What does a programmer wear?
Whatever is in the dress code.
I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit
But that's just my two scents
Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
She grew outta her beeshells!!!
The police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the m**... case?" The officer responded, "I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...
"Please, just wear your police uniform."
A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
My wife asked me, If I die, will you re-marry?
I replied, I don't know love, I don't think about those sorts of things.
Well If you did, would she live in our house? she asked
I said, I don't know, I haven't thought about it!
Then she asked Would you let her wear my clothes?
I replied Nah she's not your size
A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.
As they are u**... for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.
"Here, try these on," he says.
"What? Why?" she says.
"Just put them on," he insists.
"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."
"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this marriage. Don't you forget it."
"Got it," she says, slipping off her p**... and handing them to him. "Here, try these on."
He holds them up and sees how tiny they are.
"Are you kidding?" he says. "I can't get into your p**...!"
"That's right. And that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."
Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic
Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
What's the difference between a Trump rally and a k**... rally?
A k**... rally encourages to wear masks.
Give a man a shirt, and he'll wear it once
Tell a man he looks good in it, and he'll wear it for a lifetime
Your mom is so ugly...
That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask
In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point."
We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today
Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of b shells
Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious.
Now, we all know that Mahatma Gandhi didn't wear shoes when he walked, so he had rather large calluses on his feet. He also did not eat much, making him rather frail, and due to his diet, his breath was unpleasant, to say the least.
He was a super-callused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask.
CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing, I said to my wife.
She said, Wear your own then.
Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water....
.....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a Boris is doing his best t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her!
I'm curious to see what happens when she goes outside.
What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas?
The Taliban requires women to wear masks
Why do mermaids wear sea shells?
B shells aren't big enough.
I have 100% legit proof that masks don't do s**...!
My wife went on a trip to her sister's.
On the plane they made her wear a mask.
Didn't do s**... - she got chlamydia anyway!
My 10 year old son made this one up. Why doesn't a snowman wear snow pants?
Because his snow b**... are too big.
Robin said to Batman...
"Batman, why do you wear dark colors?"
"Easy Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"
"Then why do I wear bright colors?"
"It also makes me less likely to be shot."
My son is taking part in a social experiment where he has to wear a t-shirt saying "GO VEGAN" for 2 weeks and see how people react.
So far, he has been punched, spit on and a bottle thrown at him!
I'm curious to see what happens when he goes outside.
(My 6 year old's first homemade joke) What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed?
Answer: Paw-jamas
I wear same shoe size as my girlfriend
and people say we are not solemates
My daughter said she needed adult supervision
I told her she'd have to find someone else because I wear corrective lenses
Why do Russians wear white armbands
so they have something to wave when they surrender
Why does Aeriel always wear Sea Shells?
Because D shells were too big
Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?
He doesn't want to be spotted
What sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?
Oakley Doakleys
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga …
And 100% of men don't care.
A woman in her Kia did not wear a seatbelt and got into an accident
Her body left her Soul.
Yo mama is so fat that…
She needs to wear a watch on both wrists because of time zone difference.
Some people have said that I'm a spoilt and pretentious rich kid that doesn't have to work, but they don't know my struggles. For instance I really don't like my Boss.
I much prefer my Balenciaga, but sometimes I have to wear it to appease mother.
Two things to consider about marriage:
On one hand, you get to wear a cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.
I tried to wear a pheasant as a helmet
But I just couldn't seem to get my head in the game.
It's 2023, and I still tell my subscribers on YouTube to wear a mask.
Because who knows? My video could go viral.
What does a Pokémon wear on its feet?
Pika-Shoes!
"Daddy, what's a birthday suit?"
"That's the suit I wear for your mother's birthday."
A man decided to march in the holy crusades...
Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. What's wrong?' he asks.
You gave me the wrong key!
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoes to protect his feet from the ground...
He wears them to protect the ground from his feet
