Wear Jokes

Funniest Wear Short Jokes

Short wear jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wear humour may include short suit jokes also.

1. If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
   On the other hand, you don't.
2. Give a man a shirt, and he'll wear it once Tell a man he looks good in it, and he'll wear it for a lifetime
3. Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
   Batman doesn't want to get shot.
4. In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suit you all wear today
5. I dont believe in hitting my children as punishment So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead
6. How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask? Ask them who won the election.
7. What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas? The Taliban requires women to wear masks
8. Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water.... .....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
9. I told a girl, "you look great without glasses" She said, "but I don't wear glasses."
   I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."
10. I've lost a lot of weight just by wearing bread on my head. It's a new loaf hat diet I'm trying.

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Wear One Liners

Which wear one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wear? I can suggest the ones about cloth and coat.

1. What Size underwear Do Feminists Wear? #Double Standard.
2. What does a programmer wear? Whatever is in the dress code.
3. Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because she grew out of b shells
4. Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition.
5. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope
6. Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts? He doesn't want to be spotted
7. Why does Ariel wear seashells? Because she can't fit into D shells
8. What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear? Oakley Dokelys
9. What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach? Flop-Flops
10. What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spectator.
11. Why did princess Diana cross the road She wasn't wearing her seatbelt
12. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
13. I told my wife she was prettier when she didn't wear glasses She said "So are you"
14. Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream? She was wearing mittens.
15. Why do Russians wear white armbands so they have something to wave when they surrender

Wear Mask Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear mask jokes and even better wear mask puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
• Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
  She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
• COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.
• PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask. CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
• There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask It's called Natural Selection
• WARNING!! They said you only have to wear masks and gloves to go grocery shopping but they LIED! Apparently you have to wear clothes too.
• I noticed a barista working alone in a small shop was still wearing a mask. She said, "this is a coughy filter"
• I have 100% solid proof that masks don't work! My wife went on a business trip and on the plane they made her wear a mask -- and now she has chlamydia!
• I wear a mask. Not because I want to, but because it is considerate of others and helps stop the spread of particulates. I also wear underwear. Not because I want to, but...
• Why did the Capitol police decide to use teargas? They knew nobody was wearing a mask!

Wear Underwear Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear underwear jokes and even better wear underwear puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing, I said to my wife. She said, Wear your own then.
• Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
• Why don't witches wear underwear? ... to get a better grip
• Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear Because it keeps their ankles warm
• Having a big nose isn't a good enough excuse to not wear a mask. Take me for example. I still wear underwear.
• Why don't chickens wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their faces.
• What do thermometers wear for underwear? Kelvin Klein
• The husband whispers:"Honey, I'm not wearing underwear..." Wife: let me sleep now, I'll do laundry tomorrow
• What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear? An algae bra.
• Why did the sorority girl wear underwear? To keep her ankles warm.

Wear Dresses Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear dresses jokes and even better wear dresses puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How does an Indian girl tell her family she will be wearing a Western dress to her wedding? "Sorry, not Sari."
• A man in a bra. A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.
• My wife hates it when I show her old pictures of what she used to wear. She has post traumatic dress disorder.
• What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog? The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants
• Q: Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? A: They could get chapped lips!
• What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.
• My wife wears my shirts around the house and I never freak out... Wear one of her dresses once and it's the end of our marriage.
• What does a house wear? Ad-dress
  Or maybe it can put on a couple paint coats when it gets colder
• Why don't women wear dresses when parachuting? Because they'd whistle on the way down.
• Why don't Canadian women wear sleevless dresses? Because they aren't allowed to bare arms.

Wear A Condom Jokes

Here is a list of funny wear a condom jokes and even better wear a condom puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I wear camouflage condoms So they can't see me coming
• What do masks and condoms have in common? It's safe to come inside if you're wearing one
• Wear camouflage condoms Never let em see you coming
• Condoms aren't 100% safe. My buddy was wearing one when he got hit by a bus.
• My girlfriend said that once we get married I can stop wearing condoms!! Guess you don't need an umbrella if it's never gonna rain...
• I'm so selfish.... I wear ribbed condoms inside out.
• I dumped my blonde girlfriend after she tried to poke holes in one of the condoms. She might have gotten away with it had I not been wearing it at the time.
• Why did the Irishman wear two condoms? To be sure, to be sure.
• Condoms are supposed to provide protection But my friend was wearing one and he suffocated.
• My girlfriend tried to poke holes in one of my condoms with a needle. Which I wouldn't have been too angry about, had I not been wearing it at the time.

Party Wear Jokes

Here is a list of funny party wear jokes and even better party wear puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I just got kicked out of the weirdest Gender Reveal party.. Apparently we had to wear pants...
• What did the house wear to the party? Address.
• My friend Ara and I agreed to meet up a mask party. When I got there she was wearing a mask completely made of Makeup.
  I looked at her and said, That's some nice mask Ara.
• I often go to fancy dress parties dressed as a shark.... Quite honestly, the novelty is wearing a little fin
• I was enjoying myself at a party when I noticed a few flies wearing wrist watches Time flies when you're having fun
• I hate it when a whole heap of people wearing cargo pants unexpectedly gather around me and get all excited. It's like "Boo! Khaki party!"
• Why should you wear a burka to a party? You'll have a blast
• Dave was at a Halloween party with his wife last night. ​
  His friend said to Dave , "That certainly is a frightening mask that your wife is wearing."
  "She's not wearing a mask." replied Dave
• Went to my Roman neighbour's 30th birthday party wearing practically nothing Won't be making THAT mistake again...
• What does an owl wear to a party? An owlfit

Laughable Wear Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about wear you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean robe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wear pranks.