Cheeky Weapon Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
My rubberband gun was confiscated in Algebra class
It was a weapon of math disruption!
What's a nihilist's secret weapon?
His futility belt.
Doctor joke
Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.
A rubber band p**... was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
Always been a family favourite.
Holmes is on the case...
Sherlock Holmes is investigating a m**... where the culprit had used a knife carved from Sandstone.
Dr. Watson finds the choice of m**... weapon odd.
"Holmes, who would kill another man with an Igneous rock?"
"Sedimentary, my dear Watson, Sedimentary..."
Did you hear about the sodium chloride with a gun?
They called it a salt with a deadly weapon.
I asked my dad what the deadliest weapon known to man is.
He said 'you came out of it'.
A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor
It was a weapon of math disruption.
Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher.
It was a weapon of math destruction.
I'm so sorry.
What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?
A salt rifle.
What is a Polish person's favorite weapon?
A Warsaw...
You can explore weapon kojima reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean weapon platoon dad jokes. There are also weapon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man arrived to a Duel with only a pen and a piece of paper
He proceeded to draw his weapon
What do you call a n**...'s concealed weapon?
Auschwitz blade!
A man with a gun walks in to a bar...
He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"
A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"
A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
What is a chefs weapon of choice?
A salt rifle
Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight
The Galaxy Note 7
"Knowledge is a weapon" said Terry Goodkind
which is why the cops can shoot you for holding a book
I dunno if a gun would be my m**... weapon of choice
but it's worth a shot.
What is a Catholic's favorite weapon?
Nun-chucks.
Why was the Trebuchet so rude?
It was an offensive siege weapon!
A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.
He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"
I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun
The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon
Bruce Lee Charged With Carrying A Concealed Weapon.
He had his hands in his pockets.
I stole a p**... made from gelatin the other day...
I was arrested for having a congealed weapon.
What do you call a weapon made of sodium chloride?
A salt rifle.
The best m**... weapon would be
a Tupperware lid because nobody would ever find it.
I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun
The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.
What's a bank robbing dogs favorite weapon?
A pawed-off shotgun.
09:51 Arrive at the crime scene.
09:51 Find m**... victim.
09:51 Cordon off the area.
09:51 Start searching for m**... weapon.
09:51 Realise watch has stopped.
The Russians developed a very powerful weapon of mass destruction.
Or as they call him, Agent Orange .
What's a musician's favorite weapon?
C4.
But a knife will do in a pinch, so long as its #.
My sense of humor is my best weapon...
... and that's why I always end up in the hospital.
What do you call a grenade dropped in a church?
A weapon of mass destruction
Once arrested a guy with a gun made of gelatin
Charged him with carrying a congealed weapon
What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon?
The element of supplies
Why do pirates only have one type of weapon attached to their ship?
Because the other weapons are non-canon.
Why were kamikaze flyers a bad weapon?
Because all the good ones died in practice.
What do you call a computer weapon?
A battering *RAM*
A detective story
11:45 - arrived at crime scene
11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle
11:45 - Found m**... weapon in drain
11:45 - Realised watch was broken
If you carve a swear word into a weapon
Does that make it do curse damage?
What is Ant-Man's secret weapon?
His Thor Axe
11:45 Arrive at the crime scene
11:45 Examine body, signs of a struggle
11:45 Found m**... weapon in storm drain
11:45 Realize watch is broken
The Greeks made a weapon that caught things on fire and could not be put out with water, it only made the flames bigger.
They called it Greece fire.
What do you call an unprovoked prison stabbing?
Shanks for nothing.
~
What did the prison guards say when they couldn't find the weapon used?
Shanks but no shanks.
There was a m**... in town recently
But the detectives found the m**... weapon in only 5 minutes...
...It was a brief-case
What weapon does a Catholic ninja use?
Nunchucks.
What do you call an ionic compound carrying a gun
A salt with a deadly weapon
Why is the Jedi weapon a sabre rather than a trident?
Because for them there is no tri.
My wife attacked me with a baguette
She's been charged for assault with a breadly weapon
What is the favourite weapon of a Polish man?
A Warsaw
What do you call a molecule of sodium carrying a gun?
A salt with a deadly weapon
A prison inmate is talking to his new cell mate
A prison inmate is talking to his new cell mate.
Inmate #1: so, why are you here?
Inmate #2: I'm in prison for something I didn't do.
Inmate #1: yeah?
Inmate #2: yea, I didn't wipe off the fingerprints from the m**... weapon.
A pencil isn't John Wick's favorite m**... weapon.
But I'd say it's definitely #2.
I purchased a humble potato gun the other day.
Turned out it was a weapon of mashed destruction.
What weapon do sisters of the faith use?
Nun-chucks!
What's a sheep's favorite weapon?
Baaahzooka
What's a fanfic writer's weapon of choice?
His headcanon.
