Weapon Jokes

Weapon jokes are for those who have a sense of humor about deadly items! Enjoy this collection of puns, riddles, and satirical jokes about lethal weapons, concealed weapons, armor, duels, and more. Read on for a good laugh about all things related to TF2 weapons, Kojima, and more!

Cheeky Weapon Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

My rubberband gun was confiscated in Algebra class

It was a weapon of math disruption!

What's a nihilist's secret weapon?

His futility belt.

Doctor joke

Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.

A rubber band p**... was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Always been a family favourite.

jokes about weapon

Holmes is on the case...

Sherlock Holmes is investigating a m**... where the culprit had used a knife carved from Sandstone.
Dr. Watson finds the choice of m**... weapon odd.
"Holmes, who would kill another man with an Igneous rock?"
"Sedimentary, my dear Watson, Sedimentary..."

Did you hear about the sodium chloride with a gun?

They called it a salt with a deadly weapon.

I asked my dad what the deadliest weapon known to man is.

He said 'you came out of it'.

Weapon joke, I asked my dad what the deadliest weapon known to man is.

A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor

It was a weapon of math disruption.

Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher.

It was a weapon of math destruction.
I'm so sorry.

What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use?

A salt rifle.

What is a Polish person's favorite weapon?

A Warsaw...

You can explore weapon kojima reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean weapon platoon dad jokes. There are also weapon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A man arrived to a Duel with only a pen and a piece of paper

He proceeded to draw his weapon

What do you call a n**...'s concealed weapon?

Auschwitz blade!

A man with a gun walks in to a bar...

He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"

A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"

A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.

He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

What is a chefs weapon of choice?

A salt rifle

Weapon joke, What is a chefs weapon of choice?

Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight

The Galaxy Note 7

"Knowledge is a weapon" said Terry Goodkind

which is why the cops can shoot you for holding a book

I dunno if a gun would be my m**... weapon of choice

but it's worth a shot.

What is a Catholic's favorite weapon?


Why was the Trebuchet so rude?

It was an offensive siege weapon!

A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them.

He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"

I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun

The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon

Bruce Lee Charged With Carrying A Concealed Weapon.

He had his hands in his pockets.

I stole a p**... made from gelatin the other day...

I was arrested for having a congealed weapon.

What do you call a weapon made of sodium chloride?

A salt rifle.

Weapon joke, What do you call a weapon made of sodium chloride?

The best m**... weapon would be

a Tupperware lid because nobody would ever find it.

I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun

The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.

What's a bank robbing dogs favorite weapon?

A pawed-off shotgun.

09:51 Arrive at the crime scene.

09:51 Find m**... victim.

09:51 Cordon off the area.

09:51 Start searching for m**... weapon.

09:51 Realise watch has stopped.

The Russians developed a very powerful weapon of mass destruction.

Or as they call him, Agent Orange .

What's a musician's favorite weapon?


But a knife will do in a pinch, so long as its #.

My sense of humor is my best weapon...

... and that's why I always end up in the hospital.

What do you call a grenade dropped in a church?

A weapon of mass destruction

Once arrested a guy with a gun made of gelatin

Charged him with carrying a congealed weapon

What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon?

The element of supplies

Why do pirates only have one type of weapon attached to their ship?

Because the other weapons are non-canon.

Why were kamikaze flyers a bad weapon?

Because all the good ones died in practice.

What do you call a computer weapon?

A battering *RAM*

A detective story

11:45 - arrived at crime scene

11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle

11:45 - Found m**... weapon in drain

11:45 - Realised watch was broken

If you carve a swear word into a weapon

Does that make it do curse damage?

What is Ant-Man's secret weapon?

His Thor Axe

11:45 Arrive at the crime scene

11:45 Examine body, signs of a struggle
11:45 Found m**... weapon in storm drain
11:45 Realize watch is broken

The Greeks made a weapon that caught things on fire and could not be put out with water, it only made the flames bigger.

They called it Greece fire.

What do you call an unprovoked prison stabbing?

Shanks for nothing.


What did the prison guards say when they couldn't find the weapon used?

Shanks but no shanks.

There was a m**... in town recently

But the detectives found the m**... weapon in only 5 minutes...

...It was a brief-case

What weapon does a Catholic ninja use?


What do you call an ionic compound carrying a gun

A salt with a deadly weapon

Why is the Jedi weapon a sabre rather than a trident?

Because for them there is no tri.

My wife attacked me with a baguette

She's been charged for assault with a breadly weapon

What is the favourite weapon of a Polish man?

A Warsaw

What do you call a molecule of sodium carrying a gun?

A salt with a deadly weapon

A prison inmate is talking to his new cell mate

A prison inmate is talking to his new cell mate.
Inmate #1: so, why are you here?
Inmate #2: I'm in prison for something I didn't do.
Inmate #1: yeah?
Inmate #2: yea, I didn't wipe off the fingerprints from the m**... weapon.

A pencil isn't John Wick's favorite m**... weapon.

But I'd say it's definitely #2.

I purchased a humble potato gun the other day.

Turned out it was a weapon of mashed destruction.

What weapon do sisters of the faith use?


What's a sheep's favorite weapon?


What's a fanfic writer's weapon of choice?

His headcanon.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the weapon glockenspiel puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working weapon concealed weapon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes