Weakness Jokes
84 weakness jokes and hilarious weakness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weakness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Weakness Short Jokes
Short weakness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weakness humour may include short very weak jokes also.
- I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy. I just handed in my too weak notice.
- I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice
- Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
- Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes I could - Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
- As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies. That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.
- In an interview I was asked where I see myself in five years I replied with "I'd have to say my greatest weakness is listening."
- Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Me: "I'd say my biggest weakness is listening"
- A man is in a job interview.. "So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
"Absolutely."
"Could you give me an example of that?"
"An example of what?" - As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies... That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!
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Weakness One Liners
Which weakness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with weakness? I can suggest the ones about strength and so weak.
- Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
- Why did eminem kneel at the half time show? His knees were weak, and arms were heavy.
- Remember that joke I told you about the chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
- EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WEB MD: Cancer.
- "Fortnite" is a terrible name for a game. It's too weak.
- Not knowing Greek mythology is my biggest weakness It's my achilles horse
- What do you call a weak ape? A chimpansy
- Why should honeymoons only last six days? Because seven days makes a hole weak.
- Do you guys remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.
- "So, what are your qualifications?" "I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills"
- Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.
- I go to a muscular dystrophy support group. We meet weakly.
- How do churches stay so strong? They pray on the weak.
- I'm a comedian with muscular dystrophy I'll be here all weak
- It was a real pain canceling my gym membership. They made me hand in a too weak notice.
Cheerful Fun Weakness Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about weakness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flaws jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weakness pranks.
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Jake's final conversation
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to" his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
A man goes in for a job application...
...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batman"
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: My greatest weakness? I'm a bad listener.
So there was a monk...
This particular monk could only eat garlic for his religious diet, which made him EXTREMELY weak, and also gave him bad breath. Also, like most other monks he wore no shoes, which gave him many callouses.
This made him a "super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis."
An old man is dying..
His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.
I was in a job interview.
The guy said, "What's your biggest weakness?"
I said, "I'm a great listener."
A girl comes back home after many years to see her father before he dies...
She goes to his bedside and starts crying, "Dad, I'm sorry!"
He looks at her, smiles weakly, and says, "Goodbye, Sorry." He grins. "I'm *dead*."
What are the 3 stages of s**... after marriage?
Tri-weekly
Try Weekly
and
Try Weakly
Interviewer: What's your strength?
Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
You'll never be able to go back in time and kill h**... as a baby.
You'd be way too short and weak.
In USSR we had this joke
An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"
I was on a first date last night.
We were at a bar and when i looked at her i couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I started to go weak at the knees and sweat all over my forehead.
It was only then i realised, that i drugged the wrong drink.
Male s**... Drive Through The Ages
Between 16 and 32: Tri-weekly
Between 33 and 52: Try weekly
52 and up: Try weakly
"What is your biggest weakness?" asked the interviewer.
I said, "Spiders."
He said, "Professional ones?"
I said, "I don't know, I've never seen one in a suit before."
The job interviewer asked...
The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
Interviewer: "You're hired!"
Me: "I quit."
At the interview for my new job I was asked
"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."
At a job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?
Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes, yes I could.
Recruiter: "what's your biggest weakness?"
"I don't know when to quit."
"You are hired!"
"I quit."
Don't wait until you're on your death bed to tell people how you feel
You might be too weak to lift your middle finger
Have you heard of the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades?
He was a lot like Achilles, he had only one weakness, but instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have heard of Achilles' heel but have you heard of Bophades' nuts?
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
Eminem Coronavirus joke
Apparently, Eminem is rumored to be diagnosed with Coronavirus
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?
He was one of the heroes who fought in the t**... War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held him by the groin, this was where he became vulnerable. In the case of Achilles, this was his heel. So you may have heard of Achilles' heel, or the Achilles' tendon, but I bet you have never heard of Bophades nuts.
Job Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: I guess my biggest weakness is I am not always a good listener
There are three stages of s**... after marriage:
1. Tri-weekly.
2. Try weekly.
3. Try weakly.
Interview Gone Wild
A man was interviewing for a job.
Interviewer: What's your biggest weakness?
Man: Honesty
Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a weakness
Man: I really don't care what you think
I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough.
Today, I put in my too-weak notice.
Not too sure I got the job....
Interview I had for a job:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Interpreting semantics of a question,
but ignoring the pragmatics."
"Could you give an example?"
"Yes, I could."
As I gazed into her eyes, my knees got weak and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach...
I knew right then and there, I poisoned the wrong glass.
Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn't strong enough for the work.
Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?
Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.
I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough
I've handed in my too weak notice
Did anyone see the joke I made about the chiropractor?
I posted it here about a weak back.
A man is out buying bread in Soviet Russia
When he sees that the bakery is out of flour, he shouts:
"d**... this country, we are so poor, I haven't been able to get a loaf of bread in days"
A policeman hears that and approaches the man.
"Stop saying things like that or..." the policeman says as he uses his fingers to form a gun, points it toward the man and says "Bang!"
The man is stunned and walks home.
The wife sees that the man is shocked and asks:
"What happened? Did we run out of flour again?"
The man weakly replies:
"Not only that, it appears that we also ran out of bullets!"
A man is on his deathbed
He has 4 sons, the first 3 are strong and like him but the last one is weak and different from him.
He asks his wife "is our last son my son?", she replies "yes".
When the man has died his wife quietly whispers to herself "thank god he didn't ask about the other 3"
Recently, i decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting.
I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it..
So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
During an interview the potential employer asked the young man What you consider to be your greatest weakness"?
The job applicant replied Honesty.
The interviewer commented "Honesty? I don't think honesty is a weakness.
The young man replied I don't care what you think!
I bet you $20 that you won't be able to push the same thing back in my wheelbarrow.
Two workers - one big and strong, the other small and weak - are on a building site.
The small chap says "I bet you $20 that I can push something to the end of the yard in my wheelbarrow and you won't be able to push the same thing back."
"You're on," says the big guy.
"Righto," says the small fellow, "Jump in."
What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who's also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath?
A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.
Jesus is hanging on the cross.
There's a big loud crowd gathered when he's heard weakly calling for Matthew. Matthew rushes toward the cross but is brutally beaten back by the Roman soldiers guarding it. He runs around to the far side and tries again. Again he's beaten back. Finally after several more attempts a beaten and b**... Matthew makes it to the cross.
Yes lord what do you have to tell me
Jesus replies I can see your house from up here
Three ghosts were talking about what was keeping them from being promoted from ghoul to specter.
The first confessed, "I have a weakness for boooooooooooooobs."
The second admitted, "I drink too much boooooooooooooze."
The third said, "I lack situational awareness."
A man on a business trip went out for breakfast
When the waitress came to his booth, she asked "What can we get you?"
The man paused and said "I'll tell you what- I'd like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you bring me the food I want you to yell at me."
Puzzled, the waitress said "What are you, crazy?!"
"No," said the man- "i'm homesick."
Job Interviewer~ What would you say your biggest weakness is?
Me\~ I am too honest.
Job Interviewer\~ I don't think of that as a weakness at all.
Me\~ Well, I don't really give a sh\*t what you think.
Have you heard about the old geography teacher who kept wetting his bed?
His only weakness was in continents.
Another Jewish mother...
A Jewish guy calls his mother in Florida.
"Hi, Mom. How have you been?"
"Not so good. I've been feeling weak."
"Weak? Why are you feeling weak?"
"I haven't eaten for 28 days!"
"Twenty-eight days?! Why? What's wrong?"
"I didn't want my mouth to be full of food in case you should call."
