Weakly Jokes
32 weakly jokes and hilarious weakly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weakly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Weakly Short Jokes
Short weakly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weakly humour may include short very weak jokes also.
- I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy. I just handed in my too weak notice.
- Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
- Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes I could - As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies. That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.
- A man is in a job interview.. "So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
"Absolutely."
"Could you give me an example of that?"
"An example of what?" - I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it.. So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
- The job interviewer asked... The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
Interviewer: "You're hired!"
Me: "I quit." - "What is your biggest weakness?" asked the interviewer. I said, "Spiders."
He said, "Professional ones?"
I said, "I don't know, I've never seen one in a suit before." - Don't wait until you're on your death bed to tell people how you feel You might be too weak to lift your middle finger
- Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
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Weakly One Liners
Which weakly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with weakly? I can suggest the ones about mildly and poorly.
- Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
- Why did eminem kneel at the half time show? His knees were weak, and arms were heavy.
- EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WEB MD: Cancer.
- "Fortnite" is a terrible name for a game. It's too weak.
- Not knowing Greek mythology is my biggest weakness It's my achilles horse
- Why should honeymoons only last six days? Because seven days makes a hole weak.
- "So, what are your qualifications?" "I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills"
- I go to a muscular dystrophy support group. We meet weakly.
- I'm a comedian with muscular dystrophy I'll be here all weak
- It was a real pain canceling my gym membership. They made me hand in a too weak notice.
- Why is Uber so weak? Because they don't even Lyft.
- Why did Achilles go shoe shopping? Because heels are his only weakness
- I've stopped having naps on a Sunday afternoon. Naps are for the weak. Not the weekend.
- Seven days without food... Makes one weak!
- What do you call a weak cup of tea? Subtlety.
Unearthly Funniest Weakly Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about weakly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slowly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weakly pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Male s**... Drive Through The Ages
Between 16 and 32: Tri-weekly
Between 33 and 52: Try weekly
52 and up: Try weakly
An old man is dying..
His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jesus is hanging on the cross.
There's a big loud crowd gathered when he's heard weakly calling for Matthew. Matthew rushes toward the cross but is brutally beaten back by the Roman soldiers guarding it. He runs around to the far side and tries again. Again he's beaten back. Finally after several more attempts a beaten and b**... Matthew makes it to the cross.
Yes lord what do you have to tell me
Jesus replies I can see your house from up here
A girl comes back home after many years to see her father before he dies...
She goes to his bedside and starts crying, "Dad, I'm sorry!"
He looks at her, smiles weakly, and says, "Goodbye, Sorry." He grins. "I'm *dead*."
Jake's final conversation
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to" his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... life cycle of a human male
tri-weekly
try weekly
try weakly
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How much s**... do couples have?
Newly weds: "Tri-weekly."
After 10 years: "Try weekly."
After 30 years, "Try, weakly."
Let's make it Aussie joke day.
A man on vacation in Queensland suffers a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. On waking, he weakly asks the nurse, "Was I brought here to die?" The nurse replies, "No, they brought you in yesterday."
A pickpocket is a victim of a motorcycle hit-and-run.
A police officer comes to his aid.
"Do you remember his license plate?" he asks.
"No" says the pickpocket weakly, "but here's his wallet."
Bill was lying on his death bed
His faithful wife at his side, comforting him. Bill weakly lifts his head and says "Honey, if this is it for me, I don't want you to be alone. You should marry Jake, across the street"
"I can't even think of anything like that right now," she responds. "But, Jake? I thought you hated him."
"I do."
The three stages of a man's life.
1) tri-weekly
2) try weekly
3) try weakly
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two philosophers are having a discussion about the morality of swords. To back up their claims, one of them picks up a sword and shouts "The tip of this sword could never pierce your leather vest" and proceeds to lunge the sword into their chest
Coughing up blood, the wounded philosopher weakly replies "That's a good point"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a woman's s**... frequency during marriage?
It starts out triweekly, then tri-weekly, and eventually try weakly.
My problem is I get paid weekly...
VERY weakly (weekly)
A group of senior citizens were talking...
...at the breakfast table in a Palm Springs nursing home.
"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills makes me dizzy," another went on.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man's wife lay dying in the hospital...
with a mysterious illness. After the doctor said that there was nothing else he could do, he turned and left the couple alone in the room. The man asked his wife "Honey, is there anything I can do for you before you go?"
She weakly replied "Yes. I want you to go down on me."
Her husband was shocked. "What? Why? You mean right here, now?"
"Yes, please dear. It would make me happy one last time."
So the husband reluctantly begins to carry out his wife's request. As his wife nears c**..., she becomes more and more animated and finally screams out in pleasure.
The husband looks at her in shock, just as the doctors and nurses rush into the room. The wife looks at the everyone and says "I feel wonderful! Better than I've felt in my life!" The doctor, in disbelief, asked what had happened. The wife explained what had transpired, and just then her husband sat down on the bed weeping.
His wife asked, "Honey, why are you crying? You saved my life!"
Her husband answered her "Yes, and I'm so happy about that. It's just, to think, I could have saved Mom and Aunt Mary!"
