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Weak Jokes

153 weak jokes and hilarious weak puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about weak that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article focuses on weak jokes, so if you're looking to laugh, you've come to the wrong place! We'll explore why some jokes are so weak and demonstrate some examples of those jokes. Discussing topics, such as weak immune systems, weak ankles and more, we'll see why they don't generate many laughs. We'll also see why some jokes are wobbly and shaky, making them vulnerable to quick criticism. Read on to gain a better understanding of why some jokes are so weak.

Funniest Weak Short Jokes

Short weak jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The weak humour may include short lazy jokes also.

  1. I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy. I just handed in my too weak notice.
  2. I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice
  3. Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
  4. Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
    Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
    Me: Yes I could
  5. Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
  6. As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies. That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.
  7. In an interview I was asked where I see myself in five years I replied with "I'd have to say my greatest weakness is listening."
  8. Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Me: "I'd say my biggest weakness is listening"
  9. A man is in a job interview.. "So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
    "Absolutely."
    "Could you give me an example of that?"
    "An example of what?"
  10. As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies... That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!

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Weak One Liners

Which weak one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with weak? I can suggest the ones about slack and strong.

  1. Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
  2. Why did eminem kneel at the half time show? His knees were weak, and arms were heavy.
  3. Remember that joke I told you about the chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
  4. EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy WEB MD: Cancer.
  5. "Fortnite" is a terrible name for a game. It's too weak.
  6. Not knowing Greek mythology is my biggest weakness It's my achilles horse
  7. What do you call a weak ape? A chimpansy
  8. Why should honeymoons only last six days? Because seven days makes a hole weak.
  9. Do you guys remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.
  10. "So, what are your qualifications?" "I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills"
  11. Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.
  12. I go to a muscular dystrophy support group. We meet weakly.
  13. How do churches stay so strong? They pray on the weak.
  14. I'm a comedian with muscular dystrophy I'll be here all weak
  15. It was a real pain canceling my gym membership. They made me hand in a too weak notice.

So Weak Jokes

Here is a list of funny so weak jokes and even better so weak puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it.. So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
  • I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough I've handed in my too weak notice
  • The job interviewer asked... The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
    Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
    Interviewer: "You're hired!"
    Me: "I quit."
  • Recently, i decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting. I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
  • "What is your biggest weakness?" asked the interviewer. I said, "Spiders."
    He said, "Professional ones?"
    I said, "I don't know, I've never seen one in a suit before."
  • Did anyone see the joke I made about the chiropractor? I posted it here about a weak back.
  • Don't wait until you're on your death bed to tell people how you feel You might be too weak to lift your middle finger
  • What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who's also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath? A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.
  • Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: My greatest weakness? I'm a bad listener.
  • As I gazed into her eyes, my knees got weak and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach... I knew right then and there, I poisoned the wrong glass.

Very Weak Jokes

Here is a list of funny very weak jokes and even better very weak puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn't strong enough for the work. Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?
  • Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily.
    Interviewer: What's your weakness?
    Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
  • Recruiter: "what's your biggest weakness?" "I don't know when to quit."
    "You are hired!"
    "I quit."
  • Job Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I guess my biggest weakness is I am not always a good listener
  • I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough. Today, I put in my too-weak notice.
  • I was in a job interview. The guy said, "What's your biggest weakness?"
    I said, "I'm a great listener."
  • Interviewer: and what do you see yourself doing 5 years down the road Mr. Jones? Mr. Jones: Personally, I believe my biggest weakness is listening.
  • I resigned from my job as a personal trainer as they said I wasn't strong enough I handed in my too weak notice
  • I went for a job interview and the asked me to state my biggest weakness in three words 'Not very good at maths' I replied
  • Why is Uber so weak? Because they don't even Lyft.
Weak joke, Why is Uber so weak?

Weak Knees Jokes

Here is a list of funny weak knees jokes and even better weak knees puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the pothead have weak knees and elbows? He didnt have any joints.
  • I found the one When I saw her my knees got weak and my vision got blurry. That's when I realized I drunk the wrong glass.
  • I just don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal about Eminem kneeling at the Super Bowl… He literally said his knees were weak like 2 minutes earlier…
  • What's the best way to make a girl weak in the knees? Kick em.
  • As i glazed into her eyes, my knees got weak and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach.... I knew right then and there..... I had roofied the wrong glass!
  • I love hillary Clinton so much. It makes me weak at the knees.
  • My lady friend told me she wishes to find a love so strong that it makes her weak in the knees So I broke her knee caps.
  • My job keeps asking me to sign up for a marathon. I keep telling them I can't. I'm out of shape, I have weak knees, and 401k is a long way to run.
  • Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
  • His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's v**... on his sweater already... Woman: Did you just quote Eminem?
    Doctor: Your husband's alcohol poisoning is not a joke, madam!
Weak joke, His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's v**... on his sweater already...

Cheeky Weak Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about weak you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean strength jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make weak pranks.

A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...

...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."
The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.
"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.
"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.
"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.
"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."

What's the difference between 6 inches and 12 inches?

6 inches makes you day but 12 inches can make your hole weak.

Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day

Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

What do you call a weak cup of tea?

Subtlety.

what did the strong bee say to the weak bee?

beehold my power

Martial Arts for weak prisoners

A new martial art similar to taekwondo is being developed for weak people that go to prison. It is named TyroneNo

What does seven days without exercise make?

One weak!

Why is gravity so weak?

Because it doesn't lift

So we all know about Gandhi right?

Well Gandhi as well know was a very important person who in recent times has taken on a mystic quality to some. He often fasted for long periods of time making him rather weak and fragile, he went barefoot for long periods of time and so it's fair to assume he built up lots and lots of callouses and he was reported at one point to have very bad breath because of a gum disease. This all means he was a...
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis

His palms are sweaty...

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's v**... on his sweater already.
WebMD: *TYPHOID FEVER*

Seven days without food...

Makes one weak!

I set my password as 14 days. What did the computer say?

too weak.

Why does a honeymoon only last 7 days?

Because 7 days makes a hole weak

Seven days without Mexican food....

Makes Juan weak.

7 days without puns makes one weak.

So I went to the doctor's office today.

He tells me I need to stop m**.... I ask him why, is my heart to weak, or something? He says "no, im trying to examine you..

Love Story

I shall seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and control you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.
And you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu

So there was a monk...

This particular monk could only eat garlic for his religious diet, which made him EXTREMELY weak, and also gave him bad breath. Also, like most other monks he wore no shoes, which gave him many callouses.
This made him a "super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis."

Doctor and Lady

Doctor: You are looking so weak and exhausted! Are you properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised?
Lady: Oh my god! I heard 3 males a day.

An American guy ends up in the hospital with an Australian doctor

Feeling very weak and dizzy, the patient asked:
-Did I come here to die?
-No, you came here yesterday.

I was with my mom today when some guy backed into our car.

I joked with my mom "That guy's pull out game is weak." My mom replied "Not as weak as your dad's."

I tried changing my password to "Goku"

But facebook said it was too weak.

I make weak food puns

They're never stroganoff.

I have 2 moods.

Sleep is for the weak and I want to sleep for a week.

3 men, 40, 50 and 60 talking about their s**... lives...

the 40yr old says " when my wife and I got together we couldn't keep our hands off each other, now it's only on the weekends."
the 50 yr old say " you're lucky! when we got together it was twice a day, now it's only on special occasions."
they look to the 60yr old, who says " you boys are doing it wrong, 'cuz I get it every night!"
" how do you manage that?"
" I told my wife my heart was too weak for s**........"

Once, there was a monk

This monk wore no shoes, so his feet became really, really, tough. He also ate a diet consisting of only garlic, which made him weak and gave him bad breath.
This made him a *super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-with-halitosis*

I like my enemies how Americans like their tea

Weak.

Why does Eminem serve weak coffee?

You only get one shot.

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

You'll never be able to go back in time and kill h**... as a baby.

You'd be way too short and weak.

I've decided I need to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough…

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

My father had a weak heart and terrible claustrophobia.

He died at home, surrounded by his family.

Why was Imperial Japan so weak?

Because it only took a little boy and a fat man to take it down

I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled...

"You will have a weak dessert"

In USSR we had this joke

An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"

I was on a first date last night.

We were at a bar and when i looked at her i couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I started to go weak at the knees and sweat all over my forehead.
It was only then i realised, that i drugged the wrong drink.

Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska

There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

Maybelline is for the weak,

Strong women use Canbelline.

A man called his mother in Florida.

"Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because, I didn't want my mouth to be full in case you should call."

I invited Superman to a f**... this evening...

But he said he was feeling weak so he didn't want to go to the crypt tonight.

Why is Fortnite a bad name for a game?

It is too weak

Why did the jar of weak acid go to the gym.

To become a buffer solution

At the interview for my new job I was asked

"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."

Neil arms weak

Neil joins gym
Neil does chin ups
Neil Armstrong

What days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday, because Mon-Fri are weak days

I was walking in the park the other day, when

I suddenly saw the girl of my dreams. Our eyes locked and there was this instant spark between us and she instantly went weak at the knees and fell before me.
As we lay on the grass making love, I thought to myself. These stun guns are well worth the money.

My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."

"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."

Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?

He was one of the heroes who fought in the t**... War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held him by the groin, this was where he became vulnerable. In the case of Achilles, this was his heel. So you may have heard of Achilles' heel, or the Achilles' tendon, but I bet you have never heard of Bophades nuts.

I like my women like I like my coffee

Weak, cold, and in a sealed container.

The weakest point of any car is...

the nut holding the steering wheel.

What is the weakest vegetable?

My brother Jim

An engineer, an architect and a mathematician are trapped in a cave with nothing but a can of food each and they want to get the cans open so that they can eat.

The engineer finds a rock and taps it against the weak spot of the can. The architect throws the can against the wall in a way that doesn't collapse the cave. The mathematician then announces loudly to the other two, Let my can be open, how do we close it?

One day Achilles and Testiclles are talking

Testiclles said "Why is your name Achilles?" and Achilles said "When my mother dipped me in the river, she held me by my heel. My tendon is my only weak spot" and then he said "And why is your name Testiclles?"

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a s**... name for a computer game.


I think it is just too weak.

Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine?

It was about a weak back! (Sorry)

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer as I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've handed in my Two Weak Notice.

My dad asked me why my math scores were weak. I told him that I found myself caught in a love triangle.

He looked concerned, sat down with me and said, "You know you can tell me anything right? What's really going on?"
I replied "I don't know how to explain this to you but the four of us are in love... "

A man goes for an interview

The first question he faces - "What are your strengths and weaknesses?"
Man - I have a good sense of humor, but my general knowledge is weak.
Interviewer - Okay tell me joke
Man - Knock Knock
Interviewer - Who's there?
Man - The first president of The United States of America
Interviewer - The first president of The United States of America who?
Man - That I don't know

Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19

In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was v**... on his sweater already.
Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.

Do you know why Saturday and Sunday are considered strong days?

Because the rest are weak days

Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.

A man was close to passing and said to his wife "Please answer one final question honestly for me"

"Anything" replied his wife.
The man continued, "We have three sons. Two are fine strapping lads, handsome, tall, strong. They have been the pride of my life. But our third son is so different, he is small, weak, and always ill. Please tell me honestly before I die, is he actually my son?"
His wife replied sincerely "Yes, you don't have to worry, he is our son". And with his mind set at ease the man passed away.
His wife thought to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other two."

I found a ghost who wanted to pose for a photo for me! Unfortunately, it came out horribly underexposed.

The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.

Weak joke, I found a ghost who wanted to pose for a photo for me! Unfortunately, it came out horribly underexpo

jokes about weak