wax Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wax puns

What does Mr. Miyagi do when he gets home from a date?

He wax off

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Who took care of Mr. Miyagi's sexual needs after his wife died?

No one. Now he just wax off.

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Two ladies are in the gym locker room ....

changing into their running outfits. One lady notices her friend's tummy and asks: "Sara, why is there wax in your belly button?" Sara says, "Oh, you'll never believe how romantic my boyfriend can be. He just loves to eat by candlelight."

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How does Mr Miyagi like to relax?

He wax off....

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Did you know a Brazilian wax costs $50?

Talk about a rip off

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How does the Karate Kid pleasure himself?

Wax off

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"When I see Donald Trump..." - Edinburgh Fringe 2018

When I see Donald Trump I get the same thought in my head as I get after a particularly painful bikini wax.

Bush wasn't that bad.



Angela Barnes, Pleasance Courtyard, 7.15pm


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The inventor of wax strips has just died.

RIP

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THE TAXMAN VISITS A RABBI

Its the end of the tax year, its time to do all the taxes. Dave the taxman walks into the Synagogue to discuss the tax returns.
"What do you do with all the excess candle wax that melts? You know, you must burn a lot of candles in here you being Jewish and all?" Dave asks.
"We collect it all up, put it all in a box, send it to the candle company and they send us a big box of them everv year" says the Rabbi.
Dave wanted to check about the bread "So, what do you do with all the bread crumbs that get left over? You must have a lot of crumbs eating all that bread, you being Jewish and all"
"We collect them all up, put them in a box, send it to the bread company and they send us a big box every year" the Rabbi said.
"So what do you do with all the foreskins you get? You must have a lot of foreskins around, you being Jewish and all" Asked Dave
"We collect them all up, put them in a box, send it to the tax company and they send a big dick like you every year!"

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What does the karate kid do in his free time?

He wax off

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Why did the blonde wax her biceps?

She was exercising her right to bare arms.

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Did you hear about the horny Asian janitor?

First he wax on, then he wax off!

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An IRS auditor visits a synagogue...

...and requests that the rabbi answer a few questions.

"You guys sure burn a lot of candles here. What do with all the leftover wax?" asks the auditor.

"Well, we try to be environmentally friendly, so we send it back to the candle factory, and they send us back new candles," answers the Rabbi.

"You guys also tear a lot of cloth. What do you do with the scraps?"

"Again, we try to recycle, so we send it back to the textile mill, and they send us back new cloth."

"One more question. You guys sure cut a lot of foreskins here. What do you do with the extras?"

"Well, we send them to the IRS and get back a dick like you!"

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I was going to write something about Madame Tussauds Museum.

But I don't want to wax poetic.

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Why is turtle wax so expensive?

because turtles have such small ears

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Reading Too Far Into It

A woman decides to surprise her blind boyfriend on his birthday by having herself vajazzled in Braille.

She goes to her salon and gets a full wax, the salon girl glues the sequins around her crotch according to her careful instructions, and she rushes home and hops into bed. She calls her boyfriend and hears his cane clicking up the stairs.

"Get into bed," she says (all sultry), "I have a surprise for you."

He strips and slips between the sheets. She takes his hand and places it on the first letter on her crotch.

He reads the message. Then he reads it again. And again. He gets this puzzled look on his face. "Did I spell it wrong?" the woman asks.

"Well, I can read HAPPY, and I can read BIRTHDAY", says the guy, "but I'll be damned if I know what it says between the brackets."

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How many Latinos does it take to do a wax job?

A Brazillion!

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What does Ralph Macchio do before he whacks off?

Wax on.

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Trump is really good about his ears.

He wears ear plugs at loud concerts.
He makes sure his ear wax doesn't build up.
He keeps the gray hairs growing out of his ears nice and trimmed.

He's quite possibly the most ear responsible president we've ever had.

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Why did they pull a lawsuit against the spa for their wax treatment?

It was a ripoff.

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What did Mr. Miagi like to do after a long day at work

Re wax

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I like my girls like my skis...

I like my girls like I like my skis, rented and with plenty of wax on the bottom.

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Someone posted an ad claiming she can wax my chest without any pain at all.

Sounds nice, but I'm kind of nervous. Do you really think she could pull it off?

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Did you hear about that new wax museum in Arizona.

And... it's gone.

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What does Mr. Miyagi do while Daniel-san waxes the car?

He wax off.

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What does Mr Miyagi do in his spare time to relax?

Wax off.

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I've always been terrible at Karate, so my Sensei told me "Wax on, Wax off."

I'm now in burning pain, but my chest is *spotless.*

What does this have to do with Karate?

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TIL why it is called a Brazilian wax.

Because they cut down the forrest.

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I'm gonna open a business to wax chests with no pain at all.

...But can I really pull it off?

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What do you call a guy who picks up prostitutes from Madame Tussauds Wax Museum?

John Wick

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I once dated a girl who had no pubic hair.

She insists she didn't shave or wax and said she wouldn't even be able to afford the supplies on her allowance anyways.

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Candle sex and dirty talk goes hand in hand with....

Mr Myagi and wax on wax offο»Ώ. ;->

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I just skillfully removed a cup of wax from Kim Jong's left ear using a penknife.

Madam Tussaud's have now banned me for life.

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So I used wax as lube the other day

Wax on, wank off

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Someone asked me if I used mustache wax.

I said no, but it helps to have a runny nose.

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What are the most funny Wax jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wax? Well, here are the best Wax dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wax pick up lines to share with friends.

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