Waving Jokes
77 waving jokes and hilarious waving puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about waving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Waving Short Jokes
Short waving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The waving humour may include short waved jokes also.
- America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona By keeping the first one going
- A gorgeous woman waved to me at the beach yesterday. But there was no way I was swimming out that far, to talk to her.
- Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
- I waved the waitress over to our table. I said, "Could you get the bill for us?"
She said, "Absolutely."
I said, "Thanks. We're kind of broke." - Magician: I can make anything disappear! Tom: (holding up a cup) Really? Make my tea disappear.
Magician: (waves hand) Done!
om: (looks in cup) It didn't work. - I saw someone waving but didn't wave back because I wasn't sure if they were waving at me or the guy behind me. An hour later I got fired as a lifeguard
- A good looking girl waved at me today… but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her.
- I just waved a $100 bill to a homeless guy on the other side of the highway Welcome to my version of Frogger
- Did you hear about the librarian that was killed in an earthquake? She was crushed by a title wave.
- I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette. The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
Share These Waving Jokes With Friends
Waving One Liners
Which waving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with waving? I can suggest the ones about flapping and winking.
- Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land doesn't wave back.
- What did the black holes say when they collided? Nothing, they just waved.
(Sorry) - How do you say goodbye to 20,000 Japanese? With a big wave.
- How do you say goodbye to a thousand Japanese people? A big wave
- Why did the girl not want to date the communist? He was waving a lot of red flags.
- What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand? A microwave.
- How do you say goodbye to an Indonesian? with a big wave
- Why do Russians wear white armbands so they have something to wave when they surrender
- How do you say good bye to two hundred thousand Indonesians? A big wave.
- Why is the sea salty? Because the land does not wave back.
- Yo mama fell down... The physicists discovered Gravitational waves today
- I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car Now everyone waves at me
- What did the water say to the boat? Nothing. It just waved.
- Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back.
- What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave.
Hilarious Fun Waving Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about waving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shaking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make waving pranks.
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one of the passenger asks, "who is that man over there?"
"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."
Bad News
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
I was on vacation in Tahiti and decide to go for a one day boat trip
The skipper was sailing along islands when I saw on a really tiny one a man with a long beard, torn-down clothes and no shoes waving at us, screaming. He was very, very far and I didn't understand a word he was saying. I asked the skipper:
- Who is this guy?
- Dunno, he have been there for six months, waves at me every day.
My mom really only sends the classiest of FWDs
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife, and he says,
"Oh, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I did on the pool table with all my buddies
watching while your partner whipped me with wet celery?"
The woman looks sternly into his eyes and says very calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
An instructor was teaching a young man how to swordfight.
The young man wasn't terribly good, but he had a rather high opinion of his abilities. In a practice duel with the instructor, he was continually waving his sword about arrogantly, in wide strokes, and often leaving himself wide open to attack.
The instructor thought "he won't last five minutes with that attitude, so I need to scare it out of him. But I don't want to hurt the poor kid too badly."
The instructor feinted.
Sven walks into a bar...
... and sees his friend Bjorn sitting alone at a table. He orders a v**..., and sits down opposite him. Bjorn looks up and nods. Sven nods back.
They sit like this, not speaking, for hours, waving to the barman when more v**... is required.
Eventually Sven says, "Snow again."
Bjorn replies, "Look, if you're going to chat all night, then I'm going to have to find another bar."
A man goes to his proctologist for an exam...
The doctor tells him to drop his drawers and let him know when he feels his thumb. After a few seconds, the doctor asks the man if he can feel it and the man replies no. A few seconds later, the doctor asks again. This time the man says yes he can feel the doctors thumb. At this point, the doctor leans over and waving both thumbs at the guys face says Surprise!
Somewhere off Gilligan's Island...
On a Christmas cruise on a luxury ocean liner in the Pacific,
a passenger sees seven straggly people on a small island
jumping up and down and waving their hands and shouting.
"Who are they?" the passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. But each year when we pass, they go nuts."
Cruise ship and the bearded man
From a passenger cruise ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
A man heard a talk show was looking for people with unusual talents
When he showed up to audition for the segment the talk show host asked him what talent he was going to perform. The man explained "I imitate birds." The talk show host laughed, waving him away saying "thousands of people can imitate birds. We want something nobody has ever seen before." The man shrugged, flapped his arms, and flew away.
Hockey is the only place where
Waving your stick in someones face will get you the box.
A cruise ship passed a tiny, isolated island.
Everyone on board could see a bearded man on the island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that man?" a passenger asked the ship's captain. "Why is he so upset?"
"I have no idea," said the Captain, "but every year when we pass by here, he goes nuts."
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket...
...when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says sorry do you know me?
She replies I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?
No , she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher
A man goes to a mental hospital to visit his elderly mother...
when upon entering, he sees a man making beeping noises and waving his arms around. "what are you doing?", he asks.
"I'm driving a car. Can't you see?"
"Actually, you're in a mental hospital and your car doesn't exi-"
Then suddenly someone shouted out "Don't tell him! I get $20 by washing his car!"
A drunken bearded man is stumbling around outside a bar . . .
"I'm Jesus Christ! I am Jesus Christ!" He's yelling. No one bothers with him as he paces around waving his arms. Finally a man walks up, "I'm Jesus Christ" he yells at the man. "Ok" says the man "prove it and I'll give you 10 dollars." So the drunk nods and walks into the bar. "OH JESUS CHRIST!" Says the bartender, "not you again!"
Why is the ocean blue?
You would be to if you were waving at hot beaches all day and none of them waved back.
A plane was once flying over an island..
A plane was once flying over an island when the passengers heard the pilot's voice:
Ladies & Gentlemen, if you look on the right side of the plane, you'll see an engine on fire. If you look on the left side, you'll see a wing on fire. And if you look down, you'll see me and my co-pilot in parachutes, waving at you. This is a recording.
I was getting off an airplane, when I passed a little boy who was waving and saying "Bye, plane!"...
"No, this isn't a biplane." I said, as the kid's dad immediately gave me a condescending look.
I went on, "You can't tell its s**... preference based just on how it looks."
Short gun story
A man walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered p**... and yelled, "I have a colt 45 model 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who is sleeping with my wife!"
A voice yelled from the back of the bar, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
A cruise ship is sailing in the Caribbean..
The cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly.
Captain, one passenger asks, who is that man over there?
I have no idea, the captain says, but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.
A woman has to go to a conference in Italy, so her husband drives her.
"Thanks honey" she says, "what would you like me to bring you back?"
"Oh, um, an Italian girl!" The husband jokingly says.
"I'll see what I can do" the woman says as she walks into the airport waving goodbye.
3 days later the woman returns and her husband greets her at the airport.
"How was your trip? Did you remember to bring my gift?"
"What gift?"
"The Italian girl!"
"Oh, we'll have to wait 9 months to see if it's a boy or girl"
"Shoo ... shoo"
An Irish man is standing in the street, irractically waving his arms in the air shouting "shoo ...shoo".
A puzzled passerby asks him, "What are you doing, p**...?"
"It keeps the dragons away", he replies.
"There are no dragons, p**...".
"You're welcome!"
Why did the cops arrest the man while his hands were burning?
Because he was waving a firearm.
An old lady was smoking and pumping gas...
Next thing I know, she's running around the parking lot, screaming, with her arm on fire. The cops showed up and arrested her for waving a firearm in public.
A man went to a gas station
To pump up his car, but as he went to do so, the nozzle set his arm on fire. He then got back into his car and headed for the hospital. As he was on the highway, he was waving his burning arm out of the window, but was seen by a cop. The cop then pulled him over and promptly arrested him for possession of a firearm.
Person 1: [Humming a continuous tone]
Person 2: Why are you doing that?
Person 1: Doing what?
Person 2: You're just humming the same note without stopping.
Person 1: Oh that? I'm just waving.
Person 2: Huh?
Person 1: It's sine language.
I went to college in Hawaii and
While I was jogging on the beach one day, I saw a man in the distance drowning !
He was waving his arms screaming:
Helllppppp.... *Shark* ... please... hellllpppppp
And then I started laughing, haha, cause I knew that that shark wasn't going to help him
French president Emmanuel Macron is bringing back national service for their armed forces.
French teenagers aren't too worried though. How hard can waving a little white flag actually be?
I saw a woman once
Who was smoking a cigarette at a gas station while she filled her car. She pulled out the nozzle and gas shot everywhere and her arm was immediately engulfed in flames. She starts waving it around and a cop saw it and shot her dead. She was waving an i**... fire arm.
Elton John
On vacation, Elton John finds himself meandering in a Mediterranean orchard. Spying a tree, Elton decides to relive some boyhood memories and climb a tree, albeit only the first branch.
As Elton sits, his well-heeled (and sparkly) feet dangling, a local boy walks by. Waving, Elton call out, "Would you like anything?"
"Fig!" The boy yells back.
Offended, Elton crosses his arms. "What did you call me?"
"No," the boy replies, pointing, "THAT low hanging fruit!"
What is schrodinger's wave?
a person may be simultaneously waving at you and waving at the person behind you. There is no way to know unless you turn behind.
Today I saw someone waving but I wasn't sure whether they were waving at me or someone behind me.
I got fired from my job as a lifeguard.
What do you call a short person waving at you?
A microwave.
What do you call a short guy waving at you?
A microwave.
Little Johnny is in Catholic School
The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"
Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."
Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."
Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."
The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.
Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
I used to have wavy hair
Turns out it was waving goodbye
I can't wait to cheer for Trump in 2024. I'm going to be right there with all the others screaming "Four more years!", and waving my sign.
Anyway, how do you spell penitentiary?
I saw Covid walking down the street
It waved at me, I waved at it, it stopped. Then, a few seconds later, it started waving again, and got upset when I didn't reciprocate. I didn't know there was gonna be a second wave.
Joe Biden and Donald Trump are standing in front of a large crowd.
As they are waving to everyone, Biden leans towards Trump saying,
Did you know, that with one little wave of my hand, I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? Also, this joy will not be merely a momentary display, like that of your followers, but will go deep into their hearts, and for the rest of their lives, whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!
Trump replies, I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Come on, show me!
So Biden slapped him.
My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered
3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!
Me: Who's there?
3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!
Me: Fork who?
*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 year old's mouth*
3 yr old: Fork you Daddy!!!!! (delirious laughter)
(for those who aren't parents, imagine how someone who is learning to talk might pronounce "fork you"). My 3yr old lost their innocence in my eyes today. May as well pack them up and get them ready for college.
Since it my cake day i tell one of my favorite joke
There was this substitute teacher how had just finished teaching the lesson and was busy getting everyone working and was down to just one student not working and he ask the student why he wasn't working, the student said tell me a joke and i will. And than the teacher waving his hands at the student says ta daaaa.
A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly.
After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell.
After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.
The little turtle persisted again and again while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, watched the turtle with pain. Suddenly the female bird says to the male, "Dear, I think it's time to tell our little turtle he is adopted."
A blind man was walking down the street
A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.
The dog, at this point, started p**... on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a d**... treat and started waving it at the dog.
A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a n**... deed.
The blind man replied "Oh I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his f**...' a**...."
A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his
unholstered p**... and yelled "I have a 45 Caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round clip plus one in the chamber and I want to know who has been sleeping with my wife."
A voice from the back of the room called out "you need more ammo!"
A young boy passes a brothel on his way home from school when
the lady of the house leans forward and waves her pinky finger at him. "Hi little boy", she laughs.
He asks her, "why do you wave like that?"
She holds up her pinky finger again, "well, that's how little 'it' is".
The next day the boy strolls by and the lady does the same. "Hi little boy" she jests, waving her pinky finger in the air.
The little boy puts a finger in each corner of his mouth, stretching it as wide as possible and says, "hiya big lady".
How can you tell the ocean was mad?
It was violently waving
I once took a test on waving signal flags.
They told me I passed with flying colors.
On a tour of some really remote islands...
A cruise ship passed by an archipelago. A sharp-eyed passenger spotted a ragged figure by a campfire who jumped up and started waving his arms wildly.
"Captain!" said the passenger, "I see someone over there....who is that?"
"I'm not sure," replied the captain, "but he goes nuts every year we pass by here..."
A boy selling newspapers on the street
Keeps walking around the streets with newspapers while waving one around and shouting: Mass fraud! Mass fraud! One hundred people have been fooled! Mass fraud! One hundred people have been fooled!
o**... quickly runs to the boy and buys a newspaper. as soon as he has it in his hand he starts flicking through the pages.
The boy continues walking while waving another newspaper: Mass fraud! Mass fraud! One hundred one people have been fooled!
A joke I heard while working in China a few years ago
A Chinese state-owned container ship is highjacked by pirates. A Chinese Communist Party official is sent to negotiate.
The pirates' leader, waving his gun, shouted: the ransom is TEN MILLION dollars! Or everyone on the ship will die!
The official responded, calmly: I will give you twenty million, but you'll write me a receipt of forty million.
Show me where the money is! , yelled the bank robber.
Teller: ........... .
Robber: *waving his gun* Tell me where the money is or I'll shoot!
Teller: ........... .
Penn: He always does this .
An engineer on trial.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but the plaintiff's lawyer sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"
i hope it wasnt here already
Putin asks a fairy: Where will I be in april?
The fairy answers: I see you in a limo driving through kiev, the war between Russia and Ukraine has ended, everyone is cheering.
Putin: Am I waving to them?
Fairy: No, the coffin is closed.
Urinate
The teacher asked the class to use the word urinate in a sentence. No-one put up their hand for a while until, way in the back, little Johhny started waving his hand around.
"OK" sighed the teacher, "What is your sentence Johnny?"
My dad says urinate.
.
.
.
.
.
>!But if you had bigger t**... you'd be a nine!!<
Crazy bearded man
A passenger on a cruise ship sees a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" the passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."
I was told not to make fun of my girlfriend for waving smoke around the house for good luck.
It was some sage advice.
A guy walks into a bar
He saw an attractive girl waving at him, but he's not so sure so he looks around to make sure that's him she's waving to.
The girl walks to him and said: "Hello!"
She was so beautiful with blonde hair blue eyes, but he can't remember knowing her.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" - he asks.
"Yes, you're one of my kids' father!"
Now he panics, and recalls to that one time he cheated on his wife.
"Are you that stripper on my bachelor's party where we had s**... on the bar counter and all of my friends saw you spanked me?"
"k**..., but no, I'm your kid's teacher!"
A guy walks into a bar waving a p**...
He yells I've got a 7 round magazine and one in the chamber, now I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!
A guy from the back of the room calls out you're gonna need more ammo!
This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire...
When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
