Wasp Jokes

Why didn't the WASP participate in the o**...?

They didn't want to write that many thank you notes.

Why did the CIA t**... the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

Why did the bee put on a yarmulka

He didn't want anyone to think he was a WASP.

Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka?

Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP

Man walks into a bakery

Says to the baker "I'd like to buy a wasp please."

The baker says "Sir, we don't sell wasps."

The man replies "Well there's one in your shop window!"

If the wasp hadn't of stung me I wouldn't have killed it.

The lesson learned is that violence bee gets violence.

Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?

It was a sting operation.

What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp t**... that's covered in Reese's Pieces?

A peanut butter bee-nut putter.

I went to the pet shop this morning

I said 'can a buy a wasp please'

'We don't sell wasps' said the owner

I said 'well there's two in the window'

I must confess that I was stung by a WASP!

She had a thin waist and this little black ring, but she didn't say it was birth control until after s**...!

What am I going to tell my pastor?!

I was working as groundskeeper on a golf course...

...when a lady came up to me and complained of getting stung by a wasp between the first and second holes.

I told her she needed to close her stance a bit.

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.

"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.

The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"

The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."

Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"

What do you call a lazy wasp?

A Wannabee

If you see a wasp, don't kill it.

Just let it bee

Two bees are on their way to the synagogue, the one bee looks at the other and says "make sure you've got your yarmulke...

...we don't want them thinking you're a wasp!"

What does Ed Sullivan use to kill a giant wasp? [OC]

A really big shoe.

What do Wasps wear in the winter?

Yellow Jackets.

A man walks into a shop and says, "I'd like to buy a wasp".

The shopkeeper says, "We don't sell wasps".

To which the man replies,"Oh, you've got one in the window".

I Found a Wasp in my Alcoholic Root Beer

You could say it's.. buzzed.

What would you rather be or a wasp?

so i walked in the pet shop and said i want to buy a wasp he said we don't sell wasps i said well theres 1 in your window

How do you prevent a wasp from using its stinger?

Steal all the crème de menthe from his country club.

Saw Ant Man and The Wasp

No Ant Man but two WASPs

Why do wasps never leave tips?

Because they're stingy.

A fella walks into a pet shop...

A fella walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.

Say what you want about wasps.

But at least they wear high visibility jackets to prevent accidents.

My mom's sister got a s**... change and married a white Protestant minister

We now call them Aunt-Man and the Wasp.

The past tense of bee...

...is wasp!

Wasp meets bee

A wasp discusses the meaning of life with a bee.

Wasp:

"So, what do you think of the issue?"

Bee:

"Well... it all boils down to a simple question: To bee or not to bee."

Why didn't Black Panther, Spider-man, the GOTG, Falcon, Wasp, and Bucky show up to appear in the Endgame trailer?

They're all flakes

What sound does a wasp make when it hits your windshield?

A bee flat.

I went into the pet shop and I said "I want to buy a wasp"

The shopkeeper said "We don't sell wasps" and I said "But you've got one in the window".

\~\~\~\~

So instead I bought a dozen bees. As I was paying for them I said "Here, I bought twelve bees but there's 13 in this jar" and he said "Yes, one of them's a freebee".

John gets bitten by a wasp.

And that too on his pee pee.

He and his wife go to the doctor immediately. Doctor takes one look at it and asks the nurse to give him some medication to help him.

The wife quietly signals the doctor to come outside the room and says - can you please only give something for the pain, and leave the swelling alone?

I found an LP of wasp noises. Played three tracks that sounded nothing like a wasp.

Silly me. I was playing the bee side.

I had a big wasps nest under the eve of my roof so I went to the hardware store to find some wasp spray. I found a can and asked a worker if this was good for wasps?

He says No, it kills them.

A man walks into a tiny hardware store

looking for something to rid of a wasp problem. After 10 mins of walking around the store all he can find is ant spray. So he goes up to the counter and asks the clerk, Is this any good for wasps? Without a word, the clerk takes the can from his hands, reads the back for ingredients. No. he replied, That'll kill them.

I bought an LP of wasp noises.

I bought an LP of wasp noises. When I played it the first track didn't sound like a wasp, nor did the second track. It was then I realised I was listening to the B side.

I didn't exactly ace my "capture the wasp" exam.

I got a bee.

I got a vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!

Turns out I was playing the bee side

I found a vinyl record of Wasp Sounds at a charity shop...

...when I got home I put it on to listen to it - it was all wrong - the buzzing noises was nothing like wasp sounds.

Then I realised - I was playing the Bee side!

I went into the pet shop and I said "I'd like to buy a wasp"

The shopkeeper said "We don't sell wasps"

I said "But you've got one in the window"

Guys walks into a piano shop and asks the shop keeper for a wasp!

The store keeper says sir. We are a piano shop. We don't sell wasps . The guys says. Then why have you got some in the window?