Wasp Jokes
47 wasp jokes and hilarious wasp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wasp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of some of the best wasp jokes around!
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Funniest Wasp Short Jokes
Short wasp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wasp humour may include short honeybee jokes also.
- I found a vinyl record called "Sounds of the Wasps." When I played it, I said to myself, "This doesn't sound like wasps." I was right. I was playing the B-side.
- God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
- Guys walks into a piano shop and asks the shop keeper for a wasp! The store keeper says sir. We are a piano shop. We don't sell wasps . The guys says. Then why have you got some in the window?
- A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray "Is this good for wasps?" he asked the assistant.
"No, it kills them." - A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray. "Is this good for wasps?" he asks the assistant.
To which she replies "No, it kills them." - I got a vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps! Turns out I was playing the bee side
- I had a big wasps nest under the eve of my roof so I went to the hardware store to find some wasp spray. I found a can and asked a worker if this was good for wasps? He says No, it kills them.
- We are making our own xmas crackers for the family gathering this year. Got any good jokes we can put in them? Jokes as in "why did the chicken cross the road" not as in "live wasps".
- I found an LP of wasp noises. Played three tracks that sounded nothing like a wasp. Silly me. I was playing the bee side.
- A man wanted to buy a good insecticide "Is this good for wasps ?" a man asked the retailer.
"No, it kills them" the retailer replayed.
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Wasp One Liners
Which wasp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wasp? I can suggest the ones about bee sting and weasel.
- God initially planned to use wasps to make honey. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
- God's plan to use wasps to pollinate didn't work out. So he had to resort to Plan Bee.
- If a villain wanted to kill Antman and Wasp…. Would they call in the SWAT team?
- What do Wasps wear in the winter? Yellow Jackets.
- I didn't exactly ace my "capture the wasp" exam. I got a bee.
- What do you call a lazy wasp? A Wannabee
- Why do wasps never leave tips? Because they're stingy.
- Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka? Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP
- What sound does a wasp make when it hits your windshield? A bee flat.
- If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Just let it bee
- Stay away from Wasps They're nesty.
- Why did the bee put on a yarmulka He didn't want anyone to think he was a WASP.
- The past tense of bee... ...is wasp!
- Saw Ant Man and The Wasp No Ant Man but two WASPs
- What would you rather be or a wasp?
Happy Wasp Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about wasp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bee swarm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wasp pranks.
Why did the CIA t**... the Russian wasp?
Because he was a cagey bee agent.
I found a vinyl record of Wasp Sounds at a charity shop...
...when I got home I put it on to listen to it - it was all wrong - the buzzing noises was nothing like wasp sounds.
Then I realised - I was playing the Bee side!
I bought an LP of wasp noises.
I bought an LP of wasp noises. When I played it the first track didn't sound like a wasp, nor did the second track. It was then I realised I was listening to the B side.
A man walks into a tiny hardware store
looking for something to rid of a wasp problem. After 10 mins of walking around the store all he can find is ant spray. So he goes up to the counter and asks the clerk, Is this any good for wasps? Without a word, the clerk takes the can from his hands, reads the back for ingredients. No. he replied, That'll kill them.
A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...
A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.
"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.
The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"
The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."
Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"
What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp t**... that's covered in Reese's Pieces?
A peanut butter bee-nut putter.
I went into the pet shop and I said "I want to buy a wasp"
The shopkeeper said "We don't sell wasps" and I said "But you've got one in the window".
\~\~\~\~
So instead I bought a dozen bees. As I was paying for them I said "Here, I bought twelve bees but there's 13 in this jar" and he said "Yes, one of them's a freebee".
My mom's sister got a s**... change and married a white Protestant minister
We now call them Aunt-Man and the Wasp.
I went into the pet shop and I said "I'd like to buy a wasp"
The shopkeeper said "We don't sell wasps"
I said "But you've got one in the window"
Say what you want about wasps.
But at least they wear high visibility jackets to prevent accidents.
How do you prevent a wasp from using its stinger?
Steal all the crème de menthe from his country club.
I was working as groundskeeper on a golf course...
...when a lady came up to me and complained of getting stung by a wasp between the first and second holes.
I told her she needed to close her stance a bit.
A fella walks into a pet shop...
A fella walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
Two bees are on their way to the synagogue, the one bee looks at the other and says "make sure you've got your yarmulke...
...we don't want them thinking you're a wasp!"
Man walks into a bakery
Says to the baker "I'd like to buy a wasp please."
The baker says "Sir, we don't sell wasps."
The man replies "Well there's one in your shop window!"
John gets bitten by a wasp.
And that too on his pee pee.
He and his wife go to the doctor immediately. Doctor takes one look at it and asks the nurse to give him some medication to help him.
The wife quietly signals the doctor to come outside the room and says - can you please only give something for the pain, and leave the swelling alone?
Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?
It was a sting operation.
Why didn't the WASP participate in the o**...?
They didn't want to write that many thank you notes.
A man walks into a shop and says, "I'd like to buy a wasp".
The shopkeeper says, "We don't sell wasps".
To which the man replies,"Oh, you've got one in the window".
I went to the pet shop this morning
I said 'can a buy a wasp please'
'We don't sell wasps' said the owner
I said 'well there's two in the window'
If the wasp hadn't of stung me I wouldn't have killed it.
The lesson learned is that violence bee gets violence.
