Washington State Jokes
21 washington state jokes and hilarious washington state puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about washington state that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Washington State Short Jokes
Short washington state jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The washington state humour may include short washington dc jokes also.
- Where is the largest nursing home in the whole United States of America located? Washington D.C.
- House Speaker: I now invite Bill de Blasio, the president of the United States to give his address to the nation. Bill de Blasio : 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Thank you!!
- Why can't you compare Washington State and Florida? Because it'd be like comparing apples and oranges.
- What's the difference between Walk of Life and Washington state? One's by Dire Straits, the other's by dryer states.
^badump ^tssss
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Washington State One Liners
Which washington state one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with washington state? I can suggest the ones about george washington and washington redskins.
- What's a washing machine's favorite state to live in? Washington
- What US state has a lot of dirty laundry? Washington
- Why do GPSes work really well in Washington state? There are lots of Seattleites there!
- The state bird of washington is... a dog driving a subaru.
Entertaining Washington State Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about washington state you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean idaho state jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make washington state pranks.
Trump, wishing to visit New Zealand calls Bill English
Mr. English's secretary answers the phone. "Hello! This is the office of Bill English."
Trump says "Hello. This is President Donald Trump of the United States of America. I wish to know the time difference between New Zealand and Washington."
The secratary responds "Just a second, Mr. President."
Trump promptly hangs up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The real reason Washington state passed Gay-marriage and recreational m**... use.
Because the bible says when two men lie together, they should be s**....
Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force...
...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.
Wash. Biol. Surv.
A biological survey team in Washington state was tracking the migrations of crows. They trapped a number of crows, tagged them with the code WASH. BIOL. SURV. together with a box number, and released them.
Some weeks later they received a letter from an up-country farmer, reading as follows:
"Dear sirs. Yesterday Ah shot wun of yer crows an give it to mah wife to cook. Followin yer instrucshens, she washed it, bioled it an surved it.
"It was the worst thing we ever et."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Study finds Washington state residents consumed 175 metric tons of p**... in 2013 (real news)
As a result, the state is changing it's slogan to "Whoa Dude."
Wash. Biol. Surv.
A biological survey team based in Washington State University were studying the migratory habits of crows, so they caught a number of the birds in several states, tagged them with a metal tag marked WASH. BIOL. SURV. along with a box number and serial number, and released them.
After a while they received the following letter in slightly shaky handwriting:
*Dear sirs, Yesterday I shot one of yer crows an give it to mah wife to cook. Followin yer instructions, she washed it, bioled it an surved it. It was the worst thing we ever et.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
USSR Joke Adapted For 2018
On a tour of Washington D.C. a young man lags behind the tour group to take a longer look at the White House. However, he was quite upset with the President and in a moment of anger he shouts across the lawn "The President is a disgusting pig". As he turns to walk away the D.C. police quickly arrest the man and he is taken before a judge. The Judge takes a cursory glance at the charges and sentences the man to 4 years in prison. In disbelief he yells to the judge "I didn't know insulting the President was a crime". The Judge lowers his glasses and says "Insulting the President isn't a crime, but revealing state secrets is".
Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .
and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
First Jewish President
The first Jewish president becomes elected in the United States. After a couple months in office, he decides to fly his mother up for a visit from her retirement home in Florida.
A limo arrives at the mother's door to pick her up, and she is driven to the airport where Air Force One is waiting to fly her straight to Washington DC. Another limo picks her up from the D.C. airport, taking her to the White House.
The gatekeeper at the White House, not knowing whom the guest is, exclaims to the mother, "Wow! you must know somebody very important to get special treatment like this!"
"Well of course", the mother replies, "the president is brother to my son, the Doctor!"