Washing Jokes

• Short Washing Jokes
• Washing One Liners
• Washing Hands Jokes
• Hand Washing Jokes
• Washing Machine Jokes
• Washing Car Jokes
• Washing Up Jokes
• More Washing Jokes

Funniest Washing Short Jokes

Short washing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The washing humour may include short washer jokes also.

1. A man is washing his car with his son... ...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?
2. Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo. After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
3. I washed the car with my 5 year old son today. When we finished, he said, Next time dad, can you use a sponge?
4. Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
5. I was washing the car with my son yesterday He kept shouting, 'Mum, stop! Why can't you use a sponge!' 😀
6. Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
7. Wife walks up to husband, takes off her pants and says, "Make me feel like a woman" Husband takes off his pants, tosses it to his wife and says, "That needs a wash."
   ~~
8. went to a temporary tatoo parlor it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone.
9. My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash. "Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."
10. I felt a rush of culture shock wash over me as I walked through a middle eastern market It was bazaar

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Washing One Liners

Which washing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with washing? I can suggest the ones about wash clothes and wipe.

1. A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
2. I first noticed I was going bald When it took longer and longer to wash my face.
3. A Dad is washing the car with his son The son asked "why can't you use a sponge?"
4. Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
5. A man is washing his car with his son. Son: Dad, can't you use a sponge?
6. Me: *washing car with son* Son: Dad, can't you just use the sponge?
7. What comes after 69? A mouth wash
8. You guys hear about the half of a mermaid that washed up on shore? It's only a tale...
9. Raccoons are the animal of 2020 They always wash their hands and wear a mask
10. What washes up on small beaches? Microwaves!
11. What's a washing machine's favorite state to live in? Washington
12. Are you a washing machine? Because I wanna fill you with my dirty load.
13. [Slinky] When should you wash a stinky slinky? During spring cleaning
14. Why did the armless man fall off his bike? Because someone threw a washing machine at him
15. How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

Washing Hands Jokes

Here is a list of funny washing hands jokes and even better washing hands puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How can you tell the difference between a biologist and a chemist in the bathroom? A biologist washes his hands after peeing, a chemist washes his hands before.
• Experts say Donald Trump been setting an outstanding example during the Covid-19 outbreak 28 consecutive press briefings spent washing his hands
• What did Hellen Kellers mother do when Hellen said a bad word? She washed her hands with soap
• There was a deaf mute who said so many dirty words that his mother had to wash his hands with soap.
• The sign said Employees must wash hands But I waited a long time and no employees showed up so eventually I washed my own hands.
• In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah.... But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!
• You don't actually wash your hands... They wash each other while you just stand there staring like a creep.
• [washing hands after delivering a baby] That thing really didn't want to fit in the mail box.
• How can you spot a Chemist in the bathroom? They wash their hands
  before they use the toilet.
• I hate people who don't wash their hands They make me sick

Hand Washing Jokes

Here is a list of funny hand washing jokes and even better hand washing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What is the difference between blue collars and white collars? Blue collars wash their hands BEFORE going to toilet, and white collars - afterwards.
• How do you wash your hands on christmas? With Santatizer!
• How do elves wash their hands? With Santa-tiser.
  Credit to Greencross Vets in Port Macquarie
• What are some good 'your sister jokes'? Ones like: what's the difference between dinner and your sister? I wash my hands before eating dinner.
• I was washing my hands in a public bathroom yesterday and someone stole my mood ring I don't know how I feel about it...
• What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed? "I think we're in sink."
• I was hand washing my clothes the other day... Got a little dizzy during the spin cycle.
• When using the bathroom I've adopted a two flush technique One flush to - ya know - flush it down and another flush to wash my hands, it works a lot better than doing it all in one flush.
• My wife is really mad at me because I accidentally handed her washing soda instead of baking soda. It left her foaming at the mouth.
• Why is Tigger always washing his hands? Because he plays with Pooh

Washing Machine Jokes

Here is a list of funny washing machine jokes and even better washing machine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after
• I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener. Now her clothes don't fit.
• I accidentally dropped my girlfriends epilepsy medication in the washing machine... ...now her clothes don't fit anymore
• What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it.
• Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine? When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.
• What is the difference between women and washing machines? Washing machines don't follow you around for weeks after you drop a load in them.
• Husband: "I have good news and bad news" Wife: "Tell me the bad news first."
  Husband: "The washing machine broke."
  Wife: "And the good news?"
  Husband: "The dogs are clean."
• What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward
• A new survey shows that a fifth of British men have no idea how to turn on the washing machine. I find chocolates or flowers usually do the trick.
• What's the difference between your washing machine and your wife You don't have to say I love you every time you put a load in the washing machine

Washing Car Jokes

Here is a list of funny washing car jokes and even better washing car puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A man is washing his car with his son. His son looks at him and says,
  Dad...Why can't you use a sponge?
• One day a dad was washing the car with his son. The son said, "dad, can't You just use a sponge?"
  The dad said "no son this builds character."
• A man is washing his car with his son Says the son: Dad, wouldn't it be better if you use a sponge next time?
• A dad was washing his car with his son. "Why can't you use a towel or sponge like other people?" asked the son.
• How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
• A man is washing his car with his son, when the boy says... "Dad, can't you use the sponge?"
• Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said: 'dad, can't you just use a sponge?'
• A father is washing the car with his son After a moment the son asks his father: "do you think we could use a sponge instead?"
• A father was washing his car with his son And the son says, dad, can't you use a sponge?
• I was washing my car with my friend. He asked if I could use a sponge instead.

Washing Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny washing up jokes and even better washing up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers? Because they can wash their crack and sell it again
• I'd really like to start a career in mirror washing It's something I could really see myself doing.
• A blonde walks into a laundromat... And says to a worker, "can you wash this shirt?"
  The worker did not hear her and said "come again?"
  The blonde than replies "no it is mustard this time"
• Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? So just in case they go overboard they can wash up on shore!
  Arrrrgh
• My next-door neighbour accused me of stealing her underwear from her washing line. I was so shocked I almost crapped her pants.
• My wife asked me why I never go to Confession. I told her I just clear my browser history when I want to wash away my sins.
• Why didn't the pirates bathe before walking the plank? They figured they'd wash up on shore later.
• Like many people in lockdown I've been getting most of my clothes online My neighbours now take their washing in at night
• The beautiful woman next door came around complaining about items going missing from her washing line and threatened to call the police... I nearly crapped her pants!
• A dslexic man walked into a bra. His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event.

Giggle-Inducing Washing Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about washing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean laundry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make washing pranks.