Wash Jokes

• Short Wash Jokes
• Wash One Liners
• Hand Wash Jokes
• Wash Hands Jokes
• Wash Dishes Jokes
• Wash Clothes Jokes
• Car Wash Jokes
• More Wash Jokes

Funniest Wash Short Jokes

Short wash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wash humour may include short wipe jokes also.

1. A man is washing his car with his son... ...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?
2. Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo. After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
3. I washed the car with my 5 year old son today. When we finished, he said, Next time dad, can you use a sponge?
4. Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
5. I was washing the car with my son yesterday He kept shouting, 'Mum, stop! Why can't you use a sponge!' 😀
6. Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
7. Wife walks up to husband, takes off her pants and says, "Make me feel like a woman" Husband takes off his pants, tosses it to his wife and says, "That needs a wash."
   ~~
8. went to a temporary tatoo parlor it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone.
9. My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash. "Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."
10. I felt a rush of culture shock wash over me as I walked through a middle eastern market It was bazaar

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Wash One Liners

Which wash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wash? I can suggest the ones about clean and wand.

1. A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
2. I first noticed I was going bald When it took longer and longer to wash my face.
3. A Dad is washing the car with his son The son asked "why can't you use a sponge?"
4. Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
5. A man is washing his car with his son. Son: Dad, can't you use a sponge?
6. Me: *washing car with son* Son: Dad, can't you just use the sponge?
7. What comes after 69? A mouth wash
8. You guys hear about the half of a mermaid that washed up on shore? It's only a tale...
9. Raccoons are the animal of 2020 They always wash their hands and wear a mask
10. What washes up on small beaches? Microwaves!
11. What's a washing machine's favorite state to live in? Washington
12. Are you a washing machine? Because I wanna fill you with my dirty load.
13. [Slinky] When should you wash a stinky slinky? During spring cleaning
14. Why did the armless man fall off his bike? Because someone threw a washing machine at him
15. How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

Hand Wash Jokes

Here is a list of funny hand wash jokes and even better hand wash puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How can you tell the difference between a biologist and a chemist in the bathroom? A biologist washes his hands after peeing, a chemist washes his hands before.
• Experts say Donald Trump been setting an outstanding example during the Covid-19 outbreak 28 consecutive press briefings spent washing his hands
• What did Hellen Kellers mother do when Hellen said a bad word? She washed her hands with soap
• There was a deaf mute who said so many dirty words that his mother had to wash his hands with soap.
• The sign said Employees must wash hands But I waited a long time and no employees showed up so eventually I washed my own hands.
• In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah.... But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!
• You don't actually wash your hands... They wash each other while you just stand there staring like a creep.
• [washing hands after delivering a baby] That thing really didn't want to fit in the mail box.
• How can you spot a Chemist in the bathroom? They wash their hands
  before they use the toilet.
• I hate people who don't wash their hands They make me sick

Wash Hands Jokes

Here is a list of funny wash hands jokes and even better wash hands puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What is the difference between blue collars and white collars? Blue collars wash their hands BEFORE going to toilet, and white collars - afterwards.
• How do you wash your hands on christmas? With Santatizer!
• How do elves wash their hands? With Santa-tiser.
  Credit to Greencross Vets in Port Macquarie
• What are some good 'your sister jokes'? Ones like: what's the difference between dinner and your sister? I wash my hands before eating dinner.
• I was washing my hands in a public bathroom yesterday and someone stole my mood ring I don't know how I feel about it...
• What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed? "I think we're in sink."
• I was hand washing my clothes the other day... Got a little dizzy during the spin cycle.
• When using the bathroom I've adopted a two flush technique One flush to - ya know - flush it down and another flush to wash my hands, it works a lot better than doing it all in one flush.
• My wife is really mad at me because I accidentally handed her washing soda instead of baking soda. It left her foaming at the mouth.
• Why is Tigger always washing his hands? Because he plays with Pooh

Wash Dishes Jokes

Here is a list of funny wash dishes jokes and even better wash dishes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I saw a black guy riding a bike... At first I thought it was mine, then I realized mine is at home, washing the dishes.
• I dropped my phone while washing the dishes Guess it is in sync now .....
• Why do people who washes dishes work so well together? Because they are in sink with each other.
• My mother-in-law happend to be washing dishes at the same time as me. One might say we were... in sink
• Prehistoric womens had very strong arms Yea, we have to remember that they had to wash dishes made out of stone
• My wife uses an entire bottle of dish soap when she washes the dishes every night. Another day, another Dawn
• My very pregnant wife complained that bending over the sink to wash dishes was too hard on her back "Oooh babe," I sympathized, "why don't you just stand sideways?"
  The stitches come out on Monday.
• The wife and I mixed it up a bit last night... We washed the silverware BEFORE the dishes!
• I made the resolution to wash 5 dishes every time I go into my kitchen and it's totally working! I don't go in my kitchen anymore.
• Killing yourself is like washing the dishes I'll do it tommorow

Wash Clothes Jokes

Here is a list of funny wash clothes jokes and even better wash clothes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener. Now her clothes don't fit.
• Like many people in lockdown I've been getting most of my clothes online My neighbours now take their washing in at night
• I accidentally dropped my girlfriends epilepsy medication in the washing machine... ...now her clothes don't fit anymore
• I got sprayed in the chest by a skunk so I had my tiny therapist wash my clothes for me. My shrunk shrink stopped my shirt's skunk stink.
• God grant me the FOOD to sustain my body, the LAUNDRY DETERGENT to wash the stains from my clothes,
  and the WISDOM to know the difference.
• Islamic men get 72 virgins when they die. What do Islamic women get? 73 sets of clothes to wash.
• Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.
• What do people with an extra chromosome wash their clothes with? Downy.
• Some of my clothes are getting ripped to shreds when I use the washing machine. It keeps happening every time. I think it's a vicious cycle.
• Always wash your clothes in tide Because it's way too cold out-tide

Car Wash Jokes

Here is a list of funny car wash jokes and even better car wash puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A man is washing his car with his son. His son looks at him and says,
  Dad...Why can't you use a sponge?
• One day a dad was washing the car with his son. The son said, "dad, can't You just use a sponge?"
  The dad said "no son this builds character."
• A man is washing his car with his son Says the son: Dad, wouldn't it be better if you use a sponge next time?
• A dad was washing his car with his son. "Why can't you use a towel or sponge like other people?" asked the son.
• How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
• A man is washing his car with his son, when the boy says... "Dad, can't you use the sponge?"
• Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said: 'dad, can't you just use a sponge?'
• A father is washing the car with his son After a moment the son asks his father: "do you think we could use a sponge instead?"
• A father was washing his car with his son And the son says, dad, can't you use a sponge?
• I was washing my car with my friend. He asked if I could use a sponge instead.

Amusing & Witty Wash Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about wash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wash pranks.