The Best 43 Washer Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Washer jokes. There are some washer dishwashing jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these washer detergent puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Washer Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between a washer and a virgin?

...a washer doesn't follow you around for 3 weeks after you put a full load in it.

What did the bolt say to the nut?

"Washer? I don't even know 'er!"

I used to have a dish washer...

But she moved out

Washer joke, I used to have a dish washer...

I have a brilliant dish washer at home

That's why I married her

With all the blizzard news here's a winter joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower?

You give her a shovel!


Sexist Joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower?

Give her a shovel.

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

Washer joke, Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

What screams "Allah Akbar" and then smashes your crockery to pieces?

A Daesh washer.

I forgot to take my wallet out of my pants in the washer.

I have committed money laundering.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

You can explore washer launder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean washer laundromat dad jokes. There are also washer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer...

I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick...

Crazy man has sex with machine at laundromat and evades police

Nut screws washer and bolts

I just got hired as a mirror washer.

It's a job I can really see myself doing.

What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels?

A towel full of loads

A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum.

He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.

Headline in the local newspaper next day read,

"Nut Screws Washer and Bolts .

Washer joke, A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum.

What's the difference between pickled ginger and a pressure washer?

One is a palate cleanser, the other is a pallet cleanser.

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

what do apples, dish washer soap, the muppets, a black guy, beer, yankee candels, and the keyboard on a flip phone all have in common?

they all help make a really convoluted joke.


A large load to you may not be a large load to her...

But then again it all depends on the size of your washer.

Dad: Have you heard about the pressure washer?

Dad: "have you heard about the pressure washer?"

Daughter: "no."

Dad: *rolls eyes* "pshhhhhhhhhhhhh."

What did the window washer say to the window?

I feel your pane

Did you hear about the guy that broke his neck at the golf course?

.... he slipped and fell off the ball washer

I just put C4 in my washer

And blew my load

Did i ever tell you the story about how my uncle was a prize fighter?

He broke both of his hands on a washer / dryer he won on the price is right.

New Years resolution to recycle water

I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don't care what everyone else at the gym says.

A lunatic seduced the laundry woman ...

A lunatic seduced the laundry woman to get her keys, and promptly escaped from the asylum.

Next day, the headlines read *Nut Screws Washer and Bolts!*

You know when you're a redneck...

When loading the dish washer means getting your wife drunk.

The cops in my town are looking for a crazy man. He was last seen having sex with a laundry machine.

Nut screws washer and bolts.

Guy died at a golf course recently

Poor bloke fell off the ball washer

An absent-minded person put too much soap and clothes in the washer, and the room floods.

That must explain the rising Tide.

I dropped my epileptic meds in the washer earlier.

Now my clothes don't fit anymore.

I ordered a new dish washer on black friday.

- (insert generic mail order bride joke here)

My wife told me to load the dish washer and turn it on

So I got her drunk and before you know it, we had sex

What does an occult window washer use?

A squeegee board

I accidentally left a dollar in my pants pocket, and it went through the washer and dryer.

I hope the police don't find out about my money laundering scheme...

My dad always told me to always check my pants pockets before I put them in the washer, in case there was some money.

Because if you leave it there, you could be arrested for laundering money.

Wife: The vacuum cleaner doesn't suck the way it used to.

Husband: Neither does the dish washer.

How do you talk to the ghost of a window washer?

With a Squeegee Board

Whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

You can drop a load in a washer and it doesn't follow you around for two weeks.

My mom told me to load the dish washer.

So I got her pregnant.

I got fired from my job at the calendar factory a couple weeks ago.

I don't know why, all I did was take a few days off.

But it's okay, I think I'm going to become a mirror washer. It's something I can really see myself doing.

I got fired from my job at the calendar factory

I got fired from my job at the calendar factory a couple weeks ago, and all I did was take a few days off.

But it's alright, I think I'm going to become a mirror washer.

It's something I can really see myself doing

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the washer darks jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working washer dishwasher piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes