wars Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wars puns

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons.

If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

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I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

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Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

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I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars.

She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.

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Why were the star wars movies released 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8

In charge of planning Yoda was

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I told my wife we can have sex or go see Star Wars, she said, I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out.

But she pulled some strings and got me in.

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My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D...

... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.

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The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

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Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was

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What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

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Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

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Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

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Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

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Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars.

Husband: That is true - wars require strategy and logic.

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Why were the Star Wars movies made in the order 4,5,6,1,2,3?

In charge of production, Yoda was.

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Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

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Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

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Why did Star Wars episode 4,5,6 came before 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.

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All this talk of trade wars...

It's just Tariffying

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My girlfriend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D..

and I said, yes, but they R2-D2.

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After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

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My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.

Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?


Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.


Me: Divorce is strong with this one.

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Why did Star Wars episodes 4,5,6 come before 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, yoda was.

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Marriage Counseling

Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage?

Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns.

Husband: Divorce is strong with this one.

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I was watching Star Wars with my son and he asked me why Luke had climbed into a Tauntaun. I replied, because it was warm.

He turned to me and asked, how warm?
I looked at him excitedly and said, Luke warm.

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Why did the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win once in a while

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Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1, 2, and 3?

In charge of the release dates, Yoda was.

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[Star Wars spoiler] What did Han....

Tell Leia after they separated?

-----


*May Divorce be with you.*

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My sex life is just like star wars:

Its either Han Solo,

or i have to use the force.

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Seasonal Star Wars joke

> **Darth Vader**: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas.

> **Luke**: How?

> **Darth Vader**: I felt your presents.

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In the next Marvel movie I hear that Ironman, Captain America and the others will team up to battle Comcast .

It is called Avengers Xfinity Wars!

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Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

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Therapist: So why doesn't the marriage work?

Wife: My husband uses to many Star Wars puns

Husband: Divorce is strong in this one

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Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?

He played the force.

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Why do the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)

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What are the most funny Wars jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wars? Well, here are the best Wars dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wars pick up lines to share with friends.

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