The Best 82 Warn Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Warn jokes. There are some warn remind jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these warn caution puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Warn Jokes and Puns

A horse walked into a bar



Bartender: Hey

Horse: Yes please

A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father,may I ask a favor?'

'Of course child. What can I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Under your robes perhaps?

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..

The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!

Joke about how dangerous China is

An American tourist came to China and fell into a construction ditch, he came out, injured, and angrily told the tour guide, "In America, in a dangerous area, we always put up red flags to warn people! Why wasn't there one here?"

The Chinese tour guide very calmly replied, "Didn't you already see it when you entered the country?"

Warn joke, Joke about how dangerous China is

warning sign on children's alphabet blocks

Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

Warning: This movie may contain nudity.

Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time.


It's the first day for a fraternity...

It's the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women's dorms past eight o'clock at night, it's fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.

One pledge raises his hand and asks, How much for a season pass?

The warning sign

There was a watermelon plantation which had been constantly spoiled by night thieves who were trespassing to steal melons. The owner came with an idea to repel the intruders: he put a warning sign on the plantation's fence: "Beware! Steal on your own risk! One melon below this fence is poisoned!"

The next day, there were no more missing melons and a short text added on the warning sign: "Now there are two".

Warn joke, The warning sign

(Warning:lame music joke. I just came back from a classicical music concert) Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the oboe solo.

(Real news) In Florida, a truck filled with $120,000-worth of chocolate was stolen.

Police warn the thieves could be armed and PMSing.

I warn you not to mess with me!

I know Karate, Judo, Aikido, Jiujitsu and 22 other japanese words.

My Grandma E-Mailed me this one

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends.

You can explore warn notify reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean warn cah dad jokes. There are also warn puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do Egyptians warn each other about a spreading fire?

Pyroglyphs.

I'm writing this from the hospital

Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!

Nice guys finish last

And they generally warn you just before they do.

WARNING: There's an email going round...

...offering Processed Pork, Gelatin, and Salt in a Can.

If you get this email, DO NOT OPEN IT.

It's spam!

If you're in an indoor shooting range and it starts burning down, what do you yell to warn everyone ?

Warn joke, If you're in an indoor shooting range and it starts burning down, what do you yell to warn everyone

[Warning: Nerdy] Two self driving cars lost control on the freeway and crashed, killing 4.

Experts say it was caused by a race condition.

[WARNING: DARK] A pedophile and a kid are walking through the woods...

The kid says "Hey Mister, it's kinda scary in these woods."

The pedophile says "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of here alone!"

A company hire an efficiency expert as a consultant.

To everyone's surprise, the presentation was very interesting. For once many felt like this was a valuable use of time! as the presenter finished up, he said, "I hope you have found use in my presentation today, but I would warn you, be careful about using these techniques at home. The other night I was watching as my wife did the dinner dishes, and noticed some inefficiency in her technique. Wanting to be helpful, I advised her of several small improvements that could add up to maximum efficiency."
One of the attendees raised their hand,"Did it work? Did the dishwashing become more efficient?"
"Oh yes," the consultant replied,"before my advice, my wife took 18 minutes to finish the dishes, now I do it in 12."


My friend was being attacked by a duck.

I tried to warn him but it only made things worse.

Warning! Civil War Spoilers!

The Confederates lose

[WARNING, spoilers ahead!]

1.) Storing milk at room temperature
2.) Grandparents
3.) Black people in a movie theatre

A warning to prisoners of the Matrix

Snitches get glitches

You've been warned

TO WHOEVER STOLE MY BROKEN BATHROOM SCALE.
YOU WON'T GET A WEIGH WITH THIS!

When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me

I was never scared though, I loved disco music

(warning machinist humor). Did you hear about the guy that applied for a job running a lathe?

They turned him down.

What do you say to warn Edgar Allen Poe about the tree he's about to walk into?

Poetry!

Warnings about motorcycles

Every time people find out I drive a motorcycle they always freak out and tell me about sometime someone they know got in an accident.

I don't get it.

I don't go around telling pregnant women that my dad left

A man called his wife while she was driving to warn her.

He said 'Honey, be careful. I turned on the news and there's a car going the wrong way on the motorway.'

She says 'Oh, not just one car - it's all of them!

My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."

I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...

Called my wife on her cell to warn her about this crazy driver on the news who's speeding down the highway in the wrong direction.

She replied: I know! There's like hundreds of them!

My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

My grandfather was an old nautical engineer who tried to warn everyone on the Titanic that they were doomed

First he yelled at the passengers while they boarded...he was ignored

Then he yelled at the Captain and the First Mate...he was ignored

Then as he continued to yell his warnings; people began to tell him to be quiet and that he was crazy

Eventually, after all his yelling; Security came and escorted him out of the movie theater

Warning Dad Joke: Son just asked me: "Dad, do you like almonds?"

Me: "I don't like all-monds, but I do like some monds".

Went right over his head while I giggled furiously.

Warning - Never push the number 8 over;

The ramifications can go on forever

A warning to be careful about drunk driving..

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many pints before progressing on to Tequila. Not a good idea.

Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the car park and took a taxi home.

On the way home, I passed a police checkpoint on the freeway. The cops were pulling over cars and performing breath tests. Because I was in a taxi, they just waved it past.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as....

I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..

If Liverpool wins, somebody warn the Pope!

1981:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2005:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2018:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool is in the Champions League's final
3.

Warning this is just a joke not to hurt anyones felling...

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

[Warning] Whatever you do, don't buy anything from eBay username Anna_C_Harlatan25

My wife bought a crocodile skin handbag from her, but when it arrived it was snake skin!

Anna conned her.

Warning labels are stupid.

I bought some deodorant and it said on the can, "Avoid contact with eyes" TOO LATE, I'd already seen it

I was warned in November 2016...

People warned me, that if I voted for Hillary Clinton it would be the end of civility and truthfulness in the US as we know it, the deficit would skyrocket, and there would be never ending investigations of the president.

Well, I voted for Hillary and that was what happened!

Did you hear about the Queen's abortion?

I hear it was a royal flush

\[Like always please Up/Down vote at your own discretion but please don't downvote just because you are offended - It was marked NSFW to warn you in advance\]

My grandpa left to pick up his prescription across town.

About 10 minutes later I saw a wrong way driver on the news. I got worried since my grandpa had to take that route to get to the pharmacy and called quickly to warn him.

Me: "Grandpa be careful on I-94 there's a man driving in the wrong direction."

Grandpa: "It's not just one! There are hundreds of them!"

I wrote a review for the Fast and Furious movies...

Ok so all of the cars have this little fin on the back and...

Oops, I forgot to warn people, this contains spoilers.

They tried to warn us, it's finally happening, minorities herding white people into camps.

Here in Oregon we call them "music festivals"

My grandpa tried to warn everyone The Titanic was gonna sink.

When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.

Warning to the person who stole my glasses.

I have contacts!

WARNING! To whom ever took my glasses!!!

I will find you, I have contacts!

Warning: Dad joke for kids inside.

What do Skye, Chase, Marshall and Rubble use to power their vehicles?

Paw Petrol.

WARNING!! They said you only have to wear masks and gloves to go grocery shopping but they LIED!

Apparently you have to wear clothes too.

WARNING: Tiger King Spoilers

Will make your car look stupid.

Why couldn't the people with great eye sight warn us about this year

They are the ones with 2020 vision after all

WARNING IF YOU HAVE SEEN A LINK ON THE INTERNET OFFERING FREE DONUTS, DO NOT CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES CAPS LOCK TO BE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED ON YOUR COMPUTER!

// THE POLICE

Thought I'd let you all know I'm in the hospital.

Thee doctors say I'll be fine but I must warn you, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.

The creative writing students all shifted a little uneasy as they realized they had clearly picked the wrong professor

Ordering octopus at a restaurant

A man goes into a restaurant and he orders octopus from the seafood menu. The waiter says that's all right, but he has to warn the guest, it takes four hours to prepare.

"Why does it take so long to prepare octopus? Is it hard to cook?"
"Not really, but the octopuses keep turning down the gas."

The aircraft carrier captain saw a light whilst at sea

"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."

But the light flashes back "\*YOU\* turn to port to avoid a collision."

The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 warplanes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! \*YOU\* turn to the left to avoid a collision!"

The light flashes back "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

Warning.

Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.

And came home with two cases of beer.

How ungrateful people are

My grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. Besides not believing in him, they also expelled him from the movie theater!

A photographer was badly hurt this morning when a huge block of cheese fell on him.

Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him.

A photographer was killed in a freak accident today.

When trying to take a group photo, a giant wheel of cheddar rolled over and crushed him.

Witnesses said people did try to warn him.

Warning: Australian joke!

What's left after your local Woolworths burned down?
Coals

Warning about new batch of "ice"

Police are warning drug users about a diluted, mild version of ice doing the rounds. They are calling it "crystal meh".

Warning: Over 18 only!

19
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25
26
27
28
29
30
31

I tried to warn my friend about the dangers of Russian roulette

But it just went in one ear and out the other.

Warning.... Dad Joke: What was Lloyd cited for?

Lloydering.

A wedding photographer was tragically killed today when a 250lb wheel of cheese fell off the catering lorry and crushed him.

All the guests tried frantically to warn him, but to no avail.

I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...

It went in one ear and out the other.

A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a loss as to how to combat them.

These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."

Warning: Scat

Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop ba bodda bope

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him

To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him

Warning!

Don't eat dictionaries!

You'll get thesaurus throat!

Warning about pick pockets

At the local supermarket, two young women are standing at the parking lot exit, asking for a lift.

Shortly after leaving the parking lot, they will start undressing each other and making out, before one of them offers to give you a blow job, while the other steals your wallet.

It happened to me monday, two times tuesday and again yesterday

Corona must have hit India hard...

IΒ΄ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.

"Look Ma, no hands!"

"Well, didn't I warn you about playing with the chainsaw?"

Warning: contains spoilers

>!spoilers!<

"Look Ma, no hands!"

Saudi Mother: "I did warn you about stealing!"

A report came on the news that a maniac was driving the wrong way down the motorway.

I thought I had better give my grandad, who was visiting me, a call and warn him.
He said, "There's not just one, there's hundreds of them."

My brother was murdered today

cop: do you mind identifying the body \[puts hand on my shoulder\] I have to warn you the body was hacked up.

me: \[tearing up\] yes that's my brother Reese.

cop: you're sure?

me: \[nodding\] those are Reese's Pieces.

Why is Texas called The Lone Star State?

To warn you about their Yelp rating….

Warning: Dirt joke

It's not mulch, really.

Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon.

He is believed to be still on the run

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the warn instruct jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working warn ahead piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes