Warming Jokes
136 warming jokes and hilarious warming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about warming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you’re looking for ways to break the ice, have a laugh, and explore various aspects of warming, then these warming jokes are the perfect way to get started! From global warming to backyard barbecues, crowd-warming to house-warming, learn more about the lighter side of warming with these best jokes and one-liners.
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Funniest Warming Short Jokes
Short warming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The warming humour may include short heating jokes also.
- Justice is a dish best served cold because... ...if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
- I know global warming is bad but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?
- When you live alone, the only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat Is a warm toilet seat
- The creator of Mad Libs died this week. His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
- Give a man a jacket He'll be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket he won't leave the house.
- Give man a jacket and he'll be warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it and he'll never go outside again.
- I like my women like I like my microwave... Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing and able to kill any baby I put inside them.
- The eclipse did two things our political leaders cannot. It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to
- I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer... Plus it's super fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.
- Give a man a fire, and he's warm for the night. Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Warming One Liners
Which warming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with warming? I can suggest the ones about warmer and keeping warm.
- When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a house warming party Now I'm homeless
- How warm is a janitor's closet? Broom Temperature.
- What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke Warm.
May the 4th Be With You! - Whats the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm
- Why do prostitutes love wearing underwear Because it keeps their ankles warm
- Why did the Cold War end? Global warming started.
- Global warming can reduce terrorism because the isis melting.
- Justice is a dish best served cold If it were served warm it would be justwater.
- Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism? The ISIS melting.
- I lost my home because I threw a house warming party. I miss my igloo.
- Why is it so warm in Linus Torvalds' office? Because he doesn't have Windows.
- If you meet a woman, start talking about global warming. It's a real icebreaker.
- How do snowmen keep their heads warm during the winter solstice? They wear "ice" caps!
- What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat.
- How do you keep warm in cold room? You go to the corner, cause it's always 90 degrees
Global Warming Jokes
Here is a list of funny global warming jokes and even better global warming puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How to solve Global Warming: Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
- What if aliens are responsible for global warming? And this is just their way of breaking the ice.
- I'm from a future where Trump won re-election and solved Global Warming Just a heads up though, nuclear winter is a bit chilly.
- Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming... It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.
- What do you call a boring story about global warming? Anti-climatic
- We should all stop studying to prevent global warming Because everytime someone graduates, the world increases by a degree.
- You can't really blame Donald Trump for not believing in Global Warming He's permanently surrounded by snowflakes.
- Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming.
- If you don't know what to say on your first date try to talk about global warming. It's a great icebreaker.
- Global warming is funny. Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.
House Warming Jokes
Here is a list of funny house warming jokes and even better house warming puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Give a man a jacket, and he will be warm for the day. Teach a man to jacket, and he will never leave his house.
- When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party. Now I'm homeless.
- I love throwing house warming parties But for some reason the police keep calling it 'Arson'.
- Give a man a jacket.. and he'll be warm outside. Teach him to jacket and he won't ever leave the house
- Wifes are like hurricanes When they come they're warm and wet and when they go they take your house with them
- Give a man a jacket, he'll be warm for a day. Teach a man to jacket and he'll never leave the house.
- I bought a new heater for my wife, as she is constantly complaining about how cold our house is. She didn't like it at first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
- It's cold outside. Give a man a jacket and he will stay warm for a day.
Teach a man to jacket and he will never leave his house. - Threw my new neighbors a house-warming party... The police called it arson. Whatever...
- What do you call a house warming party for an Inuit? Eviction
Climate Warming Jokes
Here is a list of funny climate warming jokes and even better climate warming puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I haven't always believed in climate change But I'm warming up to the theory.
- Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates? Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50
Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean. - Carobs grow on carob trees in warm climates. They are frequently transported to other regions by air. Usually by pilots of the carob bean.
- Your mother is so fat that if she farts, she´s going to get charged with climate warming.
- I've had it with climate change deniers... The global warming truthers are so anti-climatic!
- How can meteorologists stay on top of the global warming issue? They climate.
- Global warming is caused by a growing mountain of carbon. I just hope our children can climate.
- I tried publishing my novel... in which I stress the danger of global warming by describing my experience battling encroaching fire ant colonies. Every publisher called it ant-I-climatic.
- What is red, small and prefers warm climates? A Tampony
- Why do Jews do so well in cold climates? They're still a little warm from the oven.
Warming Up Jokes
Here is a list of funny warming up jokes and even better warming up puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a night set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life
- What do you call someone who likes to add numbers when the weather is warm? A summer
(I thought of this, hope it's original) - Build a man a fire, and he'll stay warm for a day... SET a man on fire, and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life.
- Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun? .
.
.
.
.
.
.
Luke-Warm - What's the difference between a warm sweet potato, and a Pig flying through the air? One's a heated yam, while the other's a yeeted ham.
- Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day Set a man on fire and he'll stop bothering you.
- Build a man a fire, you'll warm him for a day. Set a man on fire, you'll warm him for the rest of his life.
- If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a couple hours. If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.
- Fords coming out with heated tailgates. So your hands stay warm while you're pushing it home.
- Why do ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers? To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it
Silly Warming Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about warming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean melting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make warming pranks.
So my wife walked in on me blowdrying my c**......
And asked me what I was doing.
"Just warming up breakfast for you, honey."
First post, hope I'm doing this right.
BANISTER
A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
She answers, "Warming up your dinner."
Everyone seems worried about global warming and world hunger...
...but the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
If you're ever having trouble talking to strangers...
...I hear global warming is a great icebreaker.
I got my friend a house warming present
I got him a bag of logs for his wood burner
You know what a good ice breaker is?
Global Warming...
Santa probably regrets giving coal
Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty children now that global warming is threatening his habitat.
How do they calculate global warming?
Al-gore-ythms
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S manufacturing non-competitive...
Donald Trump, 2012.
I still have nightmares....
I still have nightmares about the time I gave my Eskimo friend a house warming gift...
Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth?
Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)
Scientists have reversed Global Warming!
Get rekt, Sun!
How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents
Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.
Republicans were just informed about the effects of Global Warming on the polar ice caps
They're losing their cool!
If we really do live in a simulation, I think I know how they programmed global warming.
They most likely used an "Al-Gore-Ithm"
President Obama is doubling down on fighting global warming
He's already sent three battalions of Marines to invade the Sun.
A guy who doesn't believe in global warming is swimming in Egypt...
He's in de-nile
Radiators!
They make great house warming gifts!
How do you make a Eskimo lose his cool?
GLOBAL WARMING.
Global warming is going to demand re-education of our tradesmen.
Already the glaziers are smelting.
I heard about global warming...
So now I leave my air conditioner on all the time. I know just one individual can't save the planet, but I do my best.
If global warming isn't real...
Then why did club penguin shut down?
I'm surprised there aren't more far-righters who acknowledge global warming
I heard it means there'll be fewer snowflakes around.
Me: Did you know that the fish in Egypt dont believe in global warming?
Friend: ....
Me: Yeah, they're in Da Nile
How did i know for sure global warming was real?
On the day Trump got elected over 50 million snowflakes melted at once.
How do you program global warming?
using an Al-Gore-ithm
An orchestra is tuning up for a challenging concerto; all but the first chair oboist.
She is not preparing for her performance. As the draw of the curtains approached, the conductor could no longer abide her inaction. He gritted, "why are you not preparing? Why haven't you habituated your instrument?" She retorted, "I don't believe in oboe warming."
Did you know that global warming is making students do worse?
Because all I've heard is that C levels are rising.
A guy comes home from work to see find his new bride sliding down the banister
He says "What are you doing?"
"Warming up your dinner"
My girlfriend walked in on me in the bathroom
My girlfriend walked in on me in the bathroom awkwardly holding her hair dryer turned on pointed at my c**...
Her - Uhhh hunny what are you doing
Warming up your dinner
If you meet someone new, talk about global warming.
Its a really good icebreaker.
When I was younger, I was dead-set on being buried when I die.
But now, I'm warming up to the idea of being cremated.
Confusion reigns at the Olympics
A young journalist walked up to a track and field athlete who was warming up for his event to get an interview.
Not entirely sure of the athlete's discipline he asks, "Are you a polevaulter?"
The athlete replied, "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"
When someone says they don't believe in global warming
Be a lot cooler if you did
Batman: "Alfred, why do people deny global warming?"
Alfred: "Some men just want to watch the world butn."
Why didn't the parents let their kids watch the documentary on global warming?
Too much Gore...
How did the Cold War end?
Global Warming.
What's not a good icebreaker?
Global warming
First we had an ice age, now there is global warming.
It's almost as if the Earth is bipolar.
what do global warming and Barack Obama have in common?
Trump likes to pretend they don't exist
Job Opportunity for Flat Earthers
Because of the recent Arctic cold snap. Delta Airlines has been hiring de-icers in their Atlanta hub for the expected crowds at SuperBowl. Most of the jobs have been going to Flat Earthers, because by definition, they don't believe in *Global* Warming but are fine with Plane Warming.
When meeting someone new, start with a conversation about global warming...
It's breaking the ice.
You'd think Ocasio-Cortez would support global warming...
Given how much she hates ICE and all.
If you live in an igloo, what's the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Using Microsoft Word
**moves image 1mm to the right**
4 new pages appear.
Global warming.
Alien invasion.
Armageddon.
What happens when you put a globe in a microwave?
Global warming.
What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen?
Boy, will that be anticlimatic!
Trump is fighting Covid-19 not only in the US but also for the world
by not only not stopping but promoting global warming. Now that it is confirmed heat and humidity kill Covid-19, I can see Trump was trying to protect us proactively even before the pandemic...
Singers can be selfish arseholes, especially when warming up...
It's all me me me me me me me
When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming.
It's a real icebreaker.
What do flat-earthers call global warming?
Toast
Global warming doesn't exist
This subreddit is the only place it's appropriate to say that.
In 2024 Al Gore decided to run for president again.
His campaign hinged on a song he made to promote the dangers of global warming. It was so popular it became a meme.
After a while, everyone was talking about Al Gore, and, sure enough he became President.
When asked on the News, "How do you think he won," two fallen YouTubers stated, "You can't beat the Al Gore Rhythm."
I'm an environmental hipster
I believed in global warming before it was co... nevermind.
Pegleg Pete the Pirate decided to retire
He fired his crew, ran his ship aground, and built a small cabin for himself just a short walk from the beach. He enjoyed his quiet life until global warming turned his front yard into a swamp. He couldn't get down to the shore without struggling through muck and mud that was once his peaceful stroll. Finally, he realized only one solution was possible: he was going to have to plank the walk.
My mom told me to stop getting into fights in the winter…
but I was just warming up.
My fellow eskimos threw me a house warming party when I moved into my igloo
I'm homeless now
Did you hear about the heart warming emotional testimony the m**... gave at his trial?
Even the jury was touched.
If you don't know what to talk about on a first date try mentioning Global Warming.
It's a huge icebreaker.