The Best 35 Want Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Want jokes. There are some want jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these want puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Want Jokes and Puns

I always wanted to be a multimillionaire, just like my dad.

He always wanted to be a multimillionaire too.

I wanted an Australian Visa. They asked if I had a criminal record.

Didn't know you still need it.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift.

But I couldn't find a manual.

I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was to uncommon...

... I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.

My GF said she wanted to try in the other hole.

I'm afraid she might get pregnant, what should I do ?


I really wanted to watch the International Origami Championships tonight.

Sadly, it's only on paper view.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison...

...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

I always wanted to be Batman when I grew up

Not for the gadgets or the money. I just hate my parents.

I wanted to make a joke about time travel...

...but you guys didn't like it.

I always wanted to tell jokes...

I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.

The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.

I wanted to have a threesome..

..but then I came to the realization, if I wanted to disappoint two people I'd just have dinner with my parents.

You can explore want reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean want dad jokes. There are also want puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site...

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

I wanted to have sex with my girlfriend, but she was on her period...

so I had to pull some strings.

I wanted to make my racing snail faster..

So I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish.

I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift.

Thing is, I couldn't find a manual.

Have you ever wanted to catch up with first person you had sex with to show them how much better you are at it now?

I tried, but have no idea which parish he's serving in now.

I wanted to major in reverse psychology.

My dream school turned me down.

So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

So, i wanted to know what my weight was.

'Holding your belly in is not gonna make you lighter' my wife said.

But how am i supposed to see the numbers?


I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression.

Then I realized alcohol is a solution.

"I wanted to lose 10 lbs. this year....

only 13 lbs. to go!"

I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid,

but my mom told me the sky is the limit.

I wanted to tell you all about a color I made up.....

but, as it turns out, it was just a pigment of my imagination.

I've always wanted a swimmers body so I go to the swimming pool everyday...

But no one ever drowns

I wanted to join the Yakuza, but I got it mixed it up with Jacuzzi .

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail.

But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.

I really wanted to share a link to Weird Al's 1984 Michael Jackson parody today but I realized

That I can't have my Cake Day and Eat It, too.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail

But apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's foot fetish. Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..

I got off on the wrong foot.


If I wanted to kill myself...

I'd jump from your ego to your IQ.

I wanted to thank everyone for sticking with me while I figured out the meaning of many

It means a lot

I wanted to write a movie script about a retired CIA agent who has to rely on his old skills to save his kidnapped daughter, but that idea was taken.

So I thought instead I'd write a script about a retired CIA operative who is taken hostage along with his wife in Instanbul, but that idea was taken, too.

I always wanted to be an exorcist

So I studied and worked real hard to become an orcist. Then I quit.

I wanted to buy a drink from a vending machine, but there was a guy in front of me.

I tried to wait my turn patiently, but he just kept buying soda. I stood there for a while just watching him put in some money and take his drink, over and over until he had a whole bag of soda cans. He showed no signs of stopping, so I asked him, "Why do you keep doing that? Are you ever going to give anyone else a turn?"

He smirked and replied, "You're just jealous because I've won every time!"


I've always wanted a job cleaning mirrors...

It's just something I can see myself doing.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the want jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working want piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes