Wanna Jokes

What are some Wanna jokes?

Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?

LEFT WING DESTROYED

I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, and my roommate used it to roll his joint.

He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.

Hey baby, are you a GPU?

Cause I wanna make you mine.

Two condoms are walking down the street...

They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other "hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"

My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

Hey, you wanna win?

Nah, we'll pass.

Boy: [kissing girl on couch] you wanna take this upstairs?

Girl: He-he, sure baby.

Boy: Awesome! Grab the other end, and try not to scuff the banister.

A married couple of 20 years are lying in bed

The man rolled over and said to his wife, "Hey, honey, I have a hard on that I just can't get rid of. Think you wanna help?"

The wife turned around and stripped naked.

The husband then rolled back over, closed his eyes, and said, "thanks, honey, that did the trick!"

Two midgets are sitting around, bored...

When one of them pulls out some weed and asks:

"Wanna get medium?"

Beethoven hyping the crowd.

Beethoven: YOU WANNA HEAR A SYMPHONY?

*crowd cheers*

Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

I was quite surprised when the gave me a rolex. It was an incredibly generous gift, but I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch."

Two guys in a communal shower...

Guy1: You wanna play the rape game?
Guy2: No.
Guy1: That's the spirit!!

How did Barack propose to Michelle?

He got down on one knee and said, "I don't wanna be Obama self."

Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.

Girl: What does that have to do with anything?

Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.

The power of Pepsi

So a couple of friends of mine, one black, one white were at a protest and wondered which carbonated drink makes the police the most peaceful. Turns out it really is Pepsi. You see, my white friend went up to the front of the protest and shouted to the cops "Anybody wanna buy some Pepsi?!" and the cops were all chill and happy, some even bought a can or two. But then my black friend went up to the front and shouted "Anybody wanna buy some coke?!"

A guy takes his date to the carnival...

....and asks his date what she wants to do. She replies "I want to get weighed." So he takes her to the Guess Your Weight booth and continue their date.

They go on a few more rides and again he asks her what she wants to do. "I wanna get weighed" she says once again. So they get her weighed again and go one a few more rides and then he takes her home.

When she gets home, her mother asks her how her date went.

She replied, "Wousy"

You guys wanna hear a construction joke?

..... hold on I'm working on it.


(Brought to you by my 8 year old nephew)

My lesbian neighbors got me a Rolex for Christmas

I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

How do stoners propose to one another?

Marriage, you wanna?

I had a job interview...

...the interviewer slid his laptop across the table and said "sell this to me."

I closed the screen, unplugged it, and left.

I ignored his calls for about three hours. When I did answer, he said "Where is my laptop?!"

"You wanna buy it?"

I wanna do stand up comedy on a gay cruise...

...so I can open with: "Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming out."

What did Barack say to Michele when he asked her to marry him?

I don't wanna be Obama self.

Two condoms walk past a gay bar

One asks the other, Hey, wanna go inside and get shit-faced?

I got yelled at in LA today for singing Christmas Carols.

I guess they don't wanna hear about how the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.

A prostitute goes to the doctor

Prostitute: "it's too wide, the guys don't like it anymore, I wanna make it tighter"

Doctor: "no problem, but I have to see it first"

She undresses and shows him.

Doctor: "What's this?" "What's this?" "What's this?"

Prostitute: "Why'd you say it 3 times?"

Doctor: "I said it once but the rest echoed"

Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?

As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?

A man walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling

The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drink for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah the steaks are too high".

Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

"Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

"exactly."

A guy gets taken to his cell on his first day of prison...

...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'

The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'

The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and suck mommy's cock'.

Jesus and the 12 apostles walk into a restaurant

and Jesus says to the waiter:

-- Table for 26 please.

-- But there's only 13 of you?

-- Yeah, but we wanna sit all on one side.

How did the WannaCry hackers get away?

They ransomware.

My lesbian neighbors got me a rolex for my birthday.

I guess they didn't realize what I meant when I said I wanna watch .

*rubs a lamp*

*rubs a lamp*

Genie appears and asks for a wish

"I don't wanna die virgin"

*Genie grants immortality

Animals: Winter is here, we need a plan to survive.

Goose: Wanna hear migrate idea?

I received a rolex for Christmas from the lesbian couple who live next door.

Now, while I am happy with the gift, I guess they didn`t quite understand what I meant when I told them, "I wanna watch".

Are you a school?

Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you

My gay neighbor gave me a sextape of him and his husband for my birthday.

I think he misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."

A blind man walks into a bar

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?"
The man said to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler, and he's blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?"
The blind man was silent for a moment and then said, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

A man walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm off to New York," she replies. "I hear prostitutes get paid $400 doing what I do to you for free."

The husband begins packing his bags.

"What are you doing?" asked the wife.

"I'm coming with you," he said. "I wanna see how you live off $800 a year."

This actually just happened...

*Wife: I wanna get into coding.

*Me: Oh, that sounds fun. You might even earn some
money on the side while you're at home. What language
did you wana code in ?

*Wife: English. Duh!

But daaaad, I don't wanna go see grandma...

"Son, shut up and keep digging,!"

Racism and Nickelback are very similar

It's fun to joke about them, but you never wanna see them live.

I know this lesbian couple who gave me a watch...

The couple gave me a very nice Rolex for my birthday. I'm slightly disappointed though. I should of clarified what I meant when I said "I wanna watch".

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Use contraceptives kids.

My smoking hot, lesbian best friends got me a Rolex for my birthday.

I guess they misheard me when I said I wanna watch.

My lesbian friends just got me a Rolex for my birthday.

I think they misunderstood me when I told them "I wanna watch."

The word of the day is "legs"

Wanna come over and spread the word?

Hey girl are you a cave in Thailand?

Cause I wanna leave some kids inside you

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the cashier "do you have extra large condoms".

the cashier says "yes, second aisle to the left. You wanna buy some?"

the woman says

"No, but would you mind if I wait here until someone else does"

Mommy mommy I dont wanna see grandma!

Mom: Shut up and keep digging.

My lesbian neighbors bought me a Rolex for my birthday

I don't think they knew what I meant when I said "I wanna watch"

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wanna go for a bike ride?

A man walks into a bar ... (NSFW)

A man walks into a bar with a monkey.

The bartender asks "hey man, whats with the monkey?"

The man replies "watch this!"
The man then slaps the monkey and then the monkey starts blowing him.

"Wow that's pretty cool" says the bartender.

"You wanna try?" asks the man.

The bartender says "yeah sure! ... Just don't slap me so hard."

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday

It was mighty kind of them, but they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch"

Where do chemicals come from?

The chemistree.




yeah i wanna die

Wanna hear a clean joke?

Johnny took a bath with Bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

That wasn't a capitalization error.

Soviet Joke

Moscow, 1985, 3rd grade class

Teacher: Life in Soviet Union is great, all families have a nice apartment, a car, all children have nice toys!

Little Kid starts crying

Teacher: Vladimir, why are you crying??

Little Kid: I wanna go to Soviet Union!!

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