wang Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wang puns

I phoned a Chinese restaurant. A guy answered and said "Hello, I'm Wang King the chef"

I said "Don't worry, l'll call back later when you're not busy "

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A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class

The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating.

A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off. The woman has finally had enough.

She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?"

The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"

The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."

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Lady walks into a porn shop...

Lady walks in to a porn shop and asks for a vibrator.
The clerk says, "They're all there on the shelf Madam..."
She asks, "What's THIS one?"
"That's our anatomically correct Whicked Wang," says he.
The lady buys it and leaves.....Only to return an hour later.
"How about THIS one?" She asks.
"OH that's our oversized Long Dong Silver Pirate Dildo," replies the clerk.
The lady buys it and leaves....Only to return an hour later.
"How much is this PLAID one?" She asks. "I think I'd like to try this PLAID one.
"It's $25 says." says the clerk.
The lady buys it.
Shortly after she leaves, the clerk's boss calls and asks how business is going.
"Well," says the clerk. "I sold a Whicked Wanger for $12, I sold a Long Dong Silver Pirate Dildo for $18, and I sold your Thermos for $25...."

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Rabbi's wang-bang

The Rabbi and his wife were expecting a baby. The Rabbi went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Rabbi's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Rabbi's pay situation. You can imagine there was much yelling and bickering.

Finally, the Rabbi got up and spoke to the congregation, "Having children is an act of God!"

In the back of the room, a little old man with a full beard stood up and in his frail voice said, "Point of information - snow and rain are also 'acts of God,' but when we get too much we wear rubbers!"

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What do you get when you punch Batman in the groin?

A Bruised Wang.

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My neighbour keeps running to my bedroom window after he has sex...

My neighbour keeps running to my bedroom window after he has sex and showing me his wang, thinking he's really funny. I don't agree with him, but I can see where he's coming from.

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John and Larry were out hunting one day.

John went into the bushes to take a leak, and a moment later he screamed and came stumbling out.

"A rattlesnake bit me!" he yelled. "Got me right on the wang!"

Larry took out his cell phone and called 911, and they in turn switched him to poison control. A doctor got on the line and Larry said, "My friend just got bit by a rattlesnake! What should I do?"

"First of all, stay calm," said the doctor. "Do you have a pocket knife?"

"Yes."

"Good. You'll have to locate the two fang marks."

"Check."

"Take your knife and make a shallow incision right across the marks."

"Okay."

"Then put your lips over the incision and suck. Keep it up for a minute or so. That should get all the venom out, and your friend will be fine."

"Gotcha, thanks!"

He hung up and went over to John.

"What did the doctor say?" asked John.

"He said you're going to die."

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There's a new Batman coming out, but Batman is being played by an Asian?

His alter-ego? Bruce Wang.

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What happens when a male prostitute trains another male prostitute?

He takes him under his wang.

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An old Chinese joke

Mr. Wang was getting ready for the Chinese New Year. He decided to put up some luck paintings on his wall, so he called his son over. He told his son, "It's the New Year, so you have to say auspicious words. So if I put the decorations too high up, say 'Good fortune' and if I put the decorations too low, say 'Good health'". His son agreed and Mr. Wang pasted the painting on the wall. It was in the exact right place, not too high or too low.

At this moment, his son yelled: "Perfect! You don't have good health or good fortune!"

(I tried my best to translate this, but it isn't completely the same.)

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Have you heard about this new asian rapper?

Lil Wang

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If you want an 11 inch Wang

you'll have to visit a Chinese abortion clinic.

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Old Wang says to his friend Old Chen

It is so sweet, you have been married 50 years and you still call your wife 'sweetheart'. What is your secret? Chen says, "it is because I have forgotten her name"

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Goldmember walks into a bar holding his wang

Bartender says: AU put that away.

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What's a name a Chinese parent has never been able to give their kid?

Lon Wang.

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How many Chinese does it take to change a light bulb?

>!Just Wang.!<

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I tried to phone my Chinese friend Wang earlier

but I called the Wong number

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I'm reading a new book.

It's a Vietnamese book called "12 Inches of Fun" by Hung Wang

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Doctor, Doctor, theres a steering wheel on my wang...

...It's driving me nuts!!

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What do you call a fat asian man?

Chicken Wang

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You can guess an Asian's last name by making random sounds.

Woo, Choo, Wang...

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What do you call a chinese guy with a long penis?

Long Wang...
or nonexistent whatever you prefer

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We now know Kim Kardashian was performing on Ecstacy in the infamous sex tape

Though Ray J has since renamed his penis to "Lil Wang"

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TIFU

It was just me, a copy of the film 'UP' on Blueray and a tub of lube. My wang bleeds now.

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Can anyone tell me the name of that Chinese Pianist?

Mi Wang

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What are the most funny Wang jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wang? Well, here are the best Wang dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wang pick up lines to share with friends.

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