Wand Jokes
36 wand jokes and hilarious wand puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wand that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Wondering what funny jokes lie behind the magical wizard wand? Check out this article to see a collection of jokes related to Harry Potter wands, rude wands, wizard's batons, and police nightsticks. Get ready for a few laughs!
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Funniest Wand Short Jokes
Short wand jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wand humour may include short wick jokes also.
- Harry went into the chamber of secrets with his wand. When he suddenly felt a strange itch.
This girl...
She had Hogwarts. - "I wish for gender equality!" *the genie waves his wand.*
"Well, I'm not sure how you guys will repopulate, but that's on you." - What's the difference between a policeman's baton and a magician's wand? One is for cunning stunts..............
- What's the difference between a police baton and a magic wand? Ones used for cunning stunts.
- My friends and I were arguing about which of the Deathly Hallows was best: Cloak, Elder Wand or Resurrection Stone. Upvote for invisibility.
- What did Harry Potter do when he realized he got Hermione pregnant? He waved his wand at her stomach and said: fetus deletus!
- The espresso bar tech visited today... They adjusted my grind, turned up the heat, and blew out my steam wand.
- My buddy asks me what a pregnancy test is for. He says, they are the magic wand that make men disappear.
- The dating scene at Hogwarts must really s**.... Since every girl there has a magic wand, they don't really need the boys at all.
- Did you hear about the Spanish magician? He would wave his magic wand and count "Uno, Dos-"
And *p**...*, he'd disappear without a *tres*.
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Wand One Liners
Which wand one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wand? I can suggest the ones about ward and wave.
- I just found the Wand of Transfiguration! This changes everything!
- Why aren't there any teen pregnancies at Hogwarts? *waves wand*
Fetus deletus - How do you spell badly? With a broken magic wand.
- Why did Hermione liked Ron instead of Potter Because Ron had a rather large wand.
- Who are the most h**...-e**... pop group at Hogwarts? Wand e**....
- What's an impotent wizard's favourite boy band? Wand e**....
- What's an old wizard's favorite concert for a hot date? Wand-e**...
- Why was Harry Styles thrown out of Hogwarts? Because of his wand e**....
- [OC] What does Harry Potter get when he's listening to British boy groups? A wand e**....
- What was Harry Potter's favorite band during puberty? Wand e**...
Harry Potter Wand Jokes
Here is a list of funny harry potter wand jokes and even better harry potter wand puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Harry Potter's favorite band Just read the new Harry Potter story on Pottermore and learned one interesting factoid. His favorite band is Wand e**....
Rude Wand Jokes
Here is a list of funny rude wand jokes and even better rude wand puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A magician A magician walks into a gay bar, starts shaking his wand and disappears with a p**... .
** I hope this isn't too rude**
Great Wand Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about wand you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean walker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wand pranks.
A couple had been married for 35 years,
the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish.The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and BOOM! The wife had the tickets in her hand.Then it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said boldly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than I." The fairy godmother picked up her wand and BOOM! He was now 90.
Men are greedy b**....
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful b**... should remember - fairies are female.
What's the same about Wanda and Daredevil
They both lost their vision
I once saw a Spanish magician...
He told the audience that he was going to make his hat disappear on the count of three. So he tapped it with his wand and said, "Uno, dos," and it disappeared without a très.
While wandering through the woods....
I came upon a rabbit who said he could jump over the moon. So I shot him. Then I happened upon a deer who said he was faster than the speed of light. So I shot him. Then a bear appeared and said he was in the Russian space program. So I shot him.
Remember, only you can prevent forest liars.
What is Wanda Maximoff's favorite subject?
Division.
A fairy once appeared and told a family couple
"For 25 years you were a wonderful family couple. I now shall grant each of you one wish."
The wife went first.
"I want to travel the world with my dearly beloved husband'.
The fairy waved her magic wand, and instantly in the wife's hand appeared plane tickets and travel vouchers.
But unexpectedly the 50 year old husband said.
"This is really romantic and wonderful, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm sorry honey, but I want a wife 30 years younger than me."
The fairy waved her magic wand once again, and immediately turned the guy into an 80 year old man.
As Dumbledore stood there s**... his wand
Harry regretted transferring to Catholic School
After wandering for 10 years in the Desert, a man finally stumbles upon a remote brothel.
This was his return to syphilisation.
An Awful Joke I Heard as a Kid.
A bunch of boys knock on a door and when a woman answers they ask her, "Can Johnny come out and play baseball with us?"
The woman says, "You boys know Johnny doesn't have any arms and legs."
"We know," they say, "we just wand to use him for second base."
Wandering eyes
Me: My eyes are up here
Picasso: I disagree
Source: @AbbieEvansXO
What will you say to your wife while you guys are having s**...?
"I will pull out my *wand* and say "c**... interruptus."
