Walrus Jokes
59 walrus jokes and hilarious walrus puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about walrus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Walrus Short Jokes
Short walrus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The walrus humour may include short whale jokes also.
- I found bottles of 'Walrus oil' during my woodworking class... I asked if they meant Walnut... to which they said: "no, walrus oil gives the best seal!".
- What's the difference between an egg and a walrus? An egg doesn't fight back when you're hungry.
- My Dad told me this one tonight What do tupperware and walruses have in common? They both like a tight seal
- what's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus... one has a moustache and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus
- 2 walruses walk into a bar.. the first walrus is swearing and acting extremly obnoxious, the second walrus turns to him and says "tusk tusk"
Gotta love dad jokes - What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months? I think we should sea otter people.
- What's the difference between a fisherman and a walrus? One has an ugly bewhiskered face and smells like fish and the other one is a walrus
- I've named my daughter after one of the Beatles songs.. I've named my daughter after one of the Beatles songs..
'Eleanor?'
No, I am the Walrus. - How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich? Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches.
Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed. - Shameless Bachelor Joke Theft Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store?
He wanted to find a tight seal!
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Walrus One Liners
Which walrus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with walrus? I can suggest the ones about killer whale and blue whale.
- How is a walrus like Tupperware? They're both looking for a tight seal.
- What do you call a samoan Mermaid? A walrus.
- Why did the penguin break up with the walrus? Because they were polar opposites.
- Why did the walrus lick the envelope? Because he was looking for a good seal.
- How does a walrus present other options? Or, or, or!
- What's a walrus favorite part of a house? The walls!!
- What do call a Scottish walrus? William Walrus.
- What's a Walruses favourite movie? From Tusk till dawn.
- What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy? A nice tight seal
- What would you name your pet store if you only sold pet Walrus' ? Walrus' R us
- [OC]What do you call a shrunken walrus? A smallrus.
- Why does a Walrus like Tupperware? Cause they really love a tight seal.
- What do you call it when a walrus eats 1000 clams? A calamity.
- What do you call a Muslim walrus? A halalrus
- What's the similarity between a walrus and tupperware? They both like a tight seal.
Quirky and Hilarious Walrus Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about walrus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean two whales jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make walrus pranks.
This penguin is driving around
when his car breaks down. He brings it to the local mechanic, a walrus. The walrus says it'll be a while, so he might as well get something to eat. The penguin decides to get some ice cream, because penguins love ice cream. But penguins are also very messy eaters. He gets this ice cream all over his face. After two or three cones, he goes back to the walrus to check on his car.
"how's it looking" asks the penguin.
"It looks like you blew a seal." says the walrus.
"What! No man, it's just some ice cream."
What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus?
Dead.
Where do you buy a Walrus?
WalMart!
So this penguin goes for a drive ...
So this penguin goes for a drive into town. Once there, his car breaks down, but fortunately right in front of the walrus' repair shop.
The walrus is working on another car but tells the penguin he'll take a look in a minute. The penguin decides to walk across the street to get something he's never tried before: an ice cream cone. He gets vanilla.
Of course, having no hands, he gets it all over himself, smearing the ice cream on his beak and face on his way back over to the walrus' repair shop.
The walrus, seeing the penguin, closes the hood and says "well, looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says "ha, no, it's just ice cream."
Guy goes to a movie theater to see "The Hobbit." A walrus sits down next to him.
"Excuse me, but are you... a walrus?" asks the man.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
Walrus: "Well, I liked the book."
What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
*What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
.. They both like a tight seal
*What looks like a lemon and shaped like a rock?
.. A lemon shaped rock
*What is brown and sticky?
..A brown stick
I shouldn't have looked down.
I forgot I was a walrus and now I have two gaping holes in my chest.
What is the difference between a feminist and a walrus?
A walrus has at least two valid points.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Walrus l**... pepper.
(Just made this up a little inebriated so be kind.)
Person 1: Whoa! Is that a walrus l**... salt?
Person 2: Na,Cl
Walrus jokes
Did you hear about the walrus who went to the tupperware party?
He was looking for a tight seal.
*not mine*
Another penguin joke.
So a penguin is driving around town when he car starts having some issues. Worried he pulls into a mechanic shop to get it looked at. The walrus working there needs 20 minutes to check it over so the penguin decides to waddle around to waste time and ends up grabbing some vanilla ice cream.
In his delight of his snack and enjoying the sights he ends up getting vanilla ice cream all over his mouth but doesn't have anything to clean it off so he heads back to the shop since it's almost time for the mechanic to be done.
Walking up to the shop the mechanic looks over to him and says "Well it looks like you blew a seal"
"oh?" Says the penguin "oh, no this is just vanilla ice cream"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife is so ugly...
she walked past the walrus enclosure at Sea World, and her iPhone X unlocked itself.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make a walrus commit s**...?
Point at its chest and say 'What's that?'
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do a p**... and a Walrus have in common?
They both regularly lay on their *beaches*.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a walrus do after s**...?
He walnuts
Walrus is driving down the street when suddenly.....
His car breaks down in the hot dessert. He calls a towing service and takes it to the nearest shop in some small town he's never been in.
Mechanic tells him it's going to be awhile. Walrus says, no problem. I'll just go across the street and treat myself to something cold at that restuarant to burn time.
About and hour later the walrus comes back and the mechanic tells him. Well, It looks like you blew a seal. Walrus quickly rubs his face and says. Oh... No that's just vanilla ice cream I just had.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How are l**... and walruses different?
One has a mustache and smells like fish and the other one is a walrus.
My friend told me there was a bad seal on the International Space Station but what I heard it was
A walrus leaking
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between your mom & a Walrus?
One has a mustache, and smells like fish.
The other one is a Walrus.
Did you hear about Walmart's new business model?
Walmart bought the rights to Toys-R-Us and is merging with it. They are changing the mascot from a giraffe to a sea mammal, though.
They're gonna call it, Wal-R-Us.
