Walmarts Jokes
31 walmarts jokes and hilarious walmarts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about walmarts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Walmarts Short Jokes
Short walmarts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The walmarts humour may include short retail jokes also.
- When checking out at Walmart I always pick the sexiest cashier... I always end up at self checkout.
- Why do Instagram influencers enjoy shopping at Walmart so much? They just can't get enough of the self-checkout.
- Why is there no walmarts in the middle east? Because there are targets on every single corner.
- To the lady with all the screaming kids at Walmart who's wondering how the box of condoms got into her cart... You're welcome
- Have you seen the midget outside Walmart, that hides from gay people? Of course you haven't.
- Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail? Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer.
Thank you. I'll be here all week. - At some point I really want to manage a Wal-mart in Texas. I want to be a Texas Chain Store Manager.
- "It's the little things in life that make you laugh" I never understood that until I saw two midgets fighting in Wal-Mart.
- What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail? Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.
- People need to calm down about Walmart making wearing a mask mandatory. You can still wear your pajamas.
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Walmarts One Liners
Which walmarts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with walmarts? I can suggest the ones about grocery and bans.
- Did you know there are no Walmarts in Syria? ...only Targets
- Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target.
- did you know that ukraine has no Walmarts? only targets.
- Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they're all Targets.
- Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afganistan? Because there's a target on every corner.
- Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys? Aisle B, back.
- Why are there no Wal-Marts in Ukraine? Because they're all Targets.
- Was kicked out of Walmart today. When I walked in I saw a "Wet Floor" sign. So I did.
- Why is there no Walmarts in Afghanistan? Too many Targets
- Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? They're all targets!
- I don't always feel like I won the genetic lottery, but when I do... I'm at Wal-mart.
- Why did the bishop love Walmart? 'Coz the boys pants are all half off.
- Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off.
- Walmart announced the closing of 175 stores in 2018 Putting 12 cashiers out of work
- How is Kevin Spacey like Walmart? They both have boys pants half off.
Fun-Filled Walmarts Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about walmarts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make walmarts pranks.
s**... girls are like Wal-Marts
Everyone makes fun of them but when you're inside one at 4am, you think "Thank God these are here"
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
Stung...
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress and Prada purse.
"I've been stung by a n**... insect of some kind," she tells the doctor, "...but I'm ashamed to tell you where."
"It's okay," says the doctor. "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone."
"Okay," says the woman. "It was at Walmart."
What do w**... and Walmart have in common?
We all make fun of them, but when we're inside one at 4am we're glad they're around.
Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my a**....
He completely ignored me, and carried on pushing his shopping basket in Walmart
At the check out at Walmart and my son is sitting in the cart seat…
I've already pulled him and the cart up to past the check out folks so I could start putting bags in the cart. The women in the lane over says, Oh hello there handsome! Obviously talking to my son, however I shout back, Oh hey! How's it going?
The woman checking us out laughed so hard she had to take a step back and the woman I said it to was so red faced and chuckling she couldn't really say much! The few folks in line began laughing too so it was pretty funny and the epitome of dad joke! Ha! I've made it!
Milk joke
Walmart on a sunday night. Place is dead, my dad and I are stopping to grab some milk. Just a gallon. Go up to the cashier, she rings us up and we pay for it.
"Would you like a bag for that sir?" She asks us
My dad's swift reply: "No I'll keep it in the container, last time I put it in the bag it spilled everywhere."
First post hope you like it. :)
A blond and a redhead are talking one afternoon.
Redhead - "So how was your weekend?"
Blond - "Not to good my cat got it's tail cut off by the lawn mower."
Redhead - "That's terrible! What did you do about it?"
Blond - "Well I got the cat and it's tail and took it to Walmart."
Redhead - "Why wouldnt you take the cat to the vet?"
Blond - "Well I heard that Walmart was the larger retailer in the country."
Credit goes to my mother for this one.
