Walls Jokes
128 walls jokes and hilarious walls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about walls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Walls Short Jokes
Short walls jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The walls humour may include short doors jokes also.
- Breaking News: bill gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.
- As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back. And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
- I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book... She laughed at me, and said
"Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider. - I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall - Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion Probably because Mexico has more aliens
- So I put a giant map of the world up on the wall and gave my wife a dart. I told her wherever it lands is where we go on holiday. I guess we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
- We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.
- Trumpty Dumpty Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall
Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the golf courses and all the white men
Couldn't Make America Great Again - Wife: Do men wipe after they pee? Aging husband: Yes. Wipe the floor, wipe the rim, wipe the wall…..
- What's between an introvert and an extrovert? A wall.
(I know it wasn't funny, but it popped into my mind, and I thought it was decent enough)
Share These Walls Jokes With Friends
Walls One Liners
Which walls one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with walls? I can suggest the ones about brick wall and rooms.
- They should build the wall with Hillary's emails Because nobody can get over them.
- Mexico called. They are willing to pay for the wall now.
- Wall Street execs to redditors: "This isn't a game. Stop!"
- A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony. Police are looking into it.
- I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall It was a little condescending
- A hole was found in a nudist camp wall The police are now looking into it.
- Guys, I just figured out how to walk thorough walls! Doors
- What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? Dam.
- What do you call an Irishman who bounces off of walls? Rick O'Shea.
- Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall… I thought that's a little condescending
- After yesterday's events Mexico has agreed to pay for the wall and Canada wants one too.
- A fish swimming in a river hits into a wall and yells Dam.
- Why was the Berlin Wall torn down? It didn't match with the Iron Curtains.
- The Mexicans are really angry about the wall. Don't worry, they'll get over it
- What do Pink Floyd and princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Walls Jokes
What funny jokes about walls you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tower jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make walls pranks.
Why is Facebook like a prison?
Because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you.
KGB is Always Watching!
One night man tries escape from gulag.
Makes his way to cabin in middle of tundra. Inside is plain, but many family pictures on walls. He falls asleep. In middle of night he is put in sack and dragged out. The next morning he is shot like dog.
Pictures are windows. KGB always watching.
Oh Grandma!
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious.
"What trick is that my dear?" she asked.
The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."
maternity ward
A woman and her husband are in the maternity ward where the woman is giving birth. As soon as the baby comes out the doctor grabs it and starts flailing it around beating it on the table and walls. 10 seconds later as couple is freaking out he stops and says "Haha, Just kidding. It was already dead."
What should you do if your walls get cold?
Put on another coat.
A crusty old biker walls into a bar..
..and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, b**..., beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a s**... little smile.
The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."
One I made on my own. I've been told it is worthy of submission.
My friend, the architect.
So the other day I was talking to my architect friend who was working on one of his houses. I asked him how it was going, and he said pretty well. He said the first two walls had been raised, and that they were working on the third. I looked around, but didn't see any more building materials, so I asked what about the fourth wall? He looked up and said, what? You must be joking!
So a guy walls into a bar
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. The guy had a few beers, but the giraffe ends up getting totally wasted and passes out on the floor. The man pays and just add he is about to walk out the door the bartender shouts "hey! Don't leave that lyin' there!" And the man says back "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
I hate political correctness nowadays...
I can't even say "Black paint."
I have to say "Tyrone, could you please paint the walls for me."
A r**... family was visiting the city...
...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."
A daughter is seemingly possessed by a d**......
Her mother frantically calls their priest, requesting an exorcism. She describes the details "She has been spinning about wildly, climbing on the walls, running on the ceiling.. moving about non-stop!" The priest replies "I don't know what you want me to do. Sounds like she's already exercising plenty!"
Whats green and goes through walls?
A frog if you throw it hard enough...
What kind of room has no walls?
A mushroom!
I asked for soundproof walls
my mom also got me a straight jacket
Why couldn't the glue hold the walls together?
Because it wasn't ceiling.
How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?
They just have a feel for that kind of thing.
LPT Request: My 2 year old son drew in permanent marker all over the walls
So I took a shower earlier today and left my 2 year old son in the living room with the TV on thinking he would be ok. I come out 20 minutes later and he covered the entire living room in green permanent marker that he somehow got a hold of. As you can imagine, I flipped out and immediately ran to the store to buy cleaning supplies. I tried at least five different types, and scrubbed for at least half an hour but the stain was still there. Does anybody have any good methods for getting blood out of the carpet?
Walking past a lunatic asylum
Walking past a lunatic asylum , and I could hear the inmates shouting 13, 13, 13, 13, curiosity got the better of me but the walls were too tall to see over .all the time they kept on shouting 13, 13, 13, finally I found a hole in the wall so I took a peep and some fool poked me in the eye with a stick and then they started shouting 14, 14, 14, 14,
A nice Scottish lad moves to New York.
After 6 months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. Horrible, he says. They always yell and scream. He hates how they pound on the walls and stomp the floors. Oh pure! she says, how do you get by?
I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes, says the lad.
We have technology which allows people to see through walls.
We call them windows.
My wife likes to window-shop a lot.
The situation is so bad that we have more windows than walls.
You're in a heavily guarded room with walls all around you, and you only have a mirror and a table. How do you get out?
Well...
You look in the mirror, you see what you saw.
You take the saw, you cut the table in half.
Two halves make a whole, put the hole in the wall.
You talk with the guards until your voice gets hoarse, you get on the horse and ride away.
I think this Deadpool movie is going to really bring down the house.
Having only three walls isn't good for their structural integrity.
Why are the 2x4s behind walls called studs?
They're always getting nailed and s**....
My daily regime
My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. So I listed the exercises I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, because the cops are just gonna beat the walls for being black.
Trump obviously has the support of the Freemasons
He wants to build a wall, and do you know who gets paid to build walls?
**MASONS!**
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
Glue doorknobs to the walls.
Did you know the internet was created by egyptians
They have a long history of worshiping cats and writing on walls.
Inspired by a post on showerthoughts
42! 42! 42!
A man Is walking past a mental health building, he can hear the patients in a yard shouting " ", not being able to see over the high walls, he finds a hole in the wall, as he looks through, a Finger pokes his eye. "43! 43! 43!" The yard shouts!
The maple leafs are my favourite curling team
Always sliding down the ice bumping into the walls and never hitting the bullseye.
A wise alien elder told the younglings around it: "Democracy seems great..."
...until you have been to the Planet of Walls.
Afraid your kid might be a c**...?
Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag.
If you're on Wall-street, where is your nearest welfare office located?
Inside of the U.S. tax code.
Someone has been spraying graffiti of what appears to be corporate ledgers all around my neighborhood.
And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls.
So a priest walks into a bar...
Looks at the ugly walls, and says to the bartender:
"My son, you must repaint".
Californians hate walls so much...
They cried until the Oroville dam collapsed.
Whats the easiest way to confuse Helen Keller?
Put doorknobs on all the walls.
I just invented a device with which you can look through the walls.
Its called window.
Oh If These Walls Could Talk.....
I would sell the house! That son of a b@$&h is possessed!
I'll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail.
It didn't take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing f**... on the walls...
I'll never play Monopoly with him again.
Do you know what impresses me most about g**... construction?
The load-bearing walls.
What do you call a room with no walls, no windows and no door...
...A Mushroom
Why couldn't the plant escape the jail?
Because his cell had walls.
Walgreens need to called out on their BS
Their grey walls disgust me
My girlfriend suggested we get soundproof walls fitted in our bedroom.
It will stop the neighbours complaining about our snoring.
Be sure to always whisper while in a corn maze
The walls have ears.
I went house hunting over the weekend...
I went to see a house that had mirrors all over the walls and I could definitely see myself living there.
I joked about how bad our apartment building's foundation was
Even the walls started cracking up
A poor farmer came to the Parliament house
A poor farmer came to the Parliament house in New Delhi to meet with an officer. He kept his bicycle near the high walls of the building and proceeded to the entrance.
The security guard came running towards him and hurriedly asked him to remove the bicycle.
This is a very prestigious place. High profile men, ministers and judges come here
The farmer innocently replied, I know that. I have locked my cycle, nobody can take it
Scientists found a way to walk though walls
They called it "doors"
Facebook is like jail
You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt
People write on walls, use emojis, and worship cats.
Some inmates were complaining about the prison they're in
The walls aren't built to scale
Patients in an insane asylum are eating plaster off the walls,
the head doctor calls in the best doctor in the country to try and solve this problem. So the best doctor comes in and inspects the walls. He tells the head doctor to repaint the walls from red to green. The next day after the walls are repainted the head doctor comes in and sees the patients sitting and staring at the walls. "Why aren't you eating the walls now?" the head doctor asks them. "They arn't ripe yet"
I think t**... is a bad name for a c**... brand...
...because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls...
Did you hear about the mathematical vandals?
They cover the walls in graph-iti.
My brother took going to jail pretty hard. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at everyone who passed by, and smeared his own f**... all over the walls...
Needless to say we'll never play Monopoly again..
I hate walls and I absolutely despise floors.
But I'm a big ceiling fan.
A Texan at the Grand Canyon
I had a Slovakian friend who toured the Grand Canyon on his American holiday in a group with a Texan in it. They're standing on the precipice watching a sunset over the vast Southwest pastel and neon sky, when the Texan points to the stunning, striated canyon walls below and utters to my friend in a whisper, You know, I could fix that hole.
I am a fried nut
A string walks into a bar, and the bartender's all like "HEY, WE DON'T SERVE STRING IN HERE". Now obviously this makes the string very angry, so he goes outside and just goes CRAZY. He's rolling around, punching walls, hitting the ground, and by the time he's finally tired out he got himself all t**... and his ends frayed. So he walks back into the bar, and the bartender's like "HEY, ARE YOU THAT STRING FROM EARLIER?" And the string says "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
What's a walrus favorite part of a house?
The walls!!
Thought I'd soundproof the walls in preparation for our first child.
It'll make it easier for my wife and me to get a good night's sleep.
My brother took going to jail really badly.
He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own f**.... After that, we never played Monopoly again.
Descartes walls into a bar and starts talking to the Bartender...
After 5 minutes of general talk, the Bartender wonders what Descartes is doing there.
Bartender: Hey man, are you going to order a beer or what?
Descartes: I don't think I am.
(Descartes disappears).
Why did the blind kid who pretended to be Superman keep running into walls?
He had no supervision.
I Punch Women Like I Punch Walls
I don't. Because it's a really bad idea... I always end up injured.
What do high walls and a hysterectomy have in common?
They both make something impregnable.
People call me a carpenter
All I can say is that I am good at building walls around me.
What do Donald Trump & the Kool-Aid Man have in common?
They are both loud, artifically colored, and obsessed with walls.
How many orphans does it take to paint a house?
It depends on how hard you SLAM them against the walls
A little known fact about president Trump is that he's an avid Fortnite fan
What with all the walls being built
My friends say I'm always putting up walls and never talk to them
I don't think they understand what a mime is
Why do graveyards have big walls around them?
Because everybody's dying to get in
A physicist moved from the country to the noise of the inner city...
And found the noise there insufferable. But, being a man of science he lined the walls of his apartment with broken Hoover's, Dirt Devil's, and Dyson's, because sound can't travel through a Vacuum.
Phil Swift has a new product
He puts on a pair of boots and says, " I present to you the FlexBoots! Now this product may seem like ordinary boots, but with these bad boys you can run up walls, on the ceiling!" He goes on to demonstrate them by walking on random surfaces. "To show you the power FlexBoots", the camera slowly zooms out, and inverts itself, showing Phil standing under an airplane ."I'm on an airplane!" The pilot of the plane looks out the window and says,
"Weird Flex but okay."
Idk why flies can walk on walls,
But when I do it I'm possessed and need an excorsicm.
Sick of people these days smh
What two walls are saying to each other?
We meet at the corner
What do you call a drunk Irish guy who bounces off the walls?
Rick O' Shea
It's normal to talk to pets, mirrors and walls.
It's normal to talk to pets, mirrors and walls during the quarantine. Just inform your psychiatrist if they talk back.
