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Wall Sit Jokes

77 wall sit jokes and hilarious wall sit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wall sit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Wall Sit Short Jokes

Short wall sit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wall sit humour may include short wall jokes also.

  1. Facebook is like jail You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
  2. Girls at dances who are sitting by the wall waiting for a partner are called wallflowers... So does that make men doing the same 'wallnuts'?
  3. Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall?
    A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd!
    Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall?
    A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
  4. What's the difference between a jail and Facebook? Basically none.
    You sit, waste your time and write on the wall.
  5. Written on the Bathroom Wall... *Here I sit
    Broken-hearted
    Tried to rhyme
    Couldn't even get the meter right.*
  6. A child asks her dad... "Dad, what should I do if I get cold?"
    "You sit next to a wall."- the dad answers
    "Why is that?"- the daughter is confused
    "Because it's 90 degrees there."
  7. Elvis Presley, Tupac Shakur, and Kim Kong Un go into a bar. Elvis order a Peach Brandy, Tupac ordered a Hennessy. They just placed Kim Jong Un sitting up against a wall because he's really dead.
  8. What does a Jew with an e**... get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose, i will sit in the corner now.
  9. "Post" and "Repost" were sitting on a wall. Post fell down. Who was left? POST REMOVED: **Rule 2 Violation**
    Please review the subreddit rules before posting again.
  10. The big m**... and the little m**... were sitting on a wall. The big one fell off but the little one didn't. Why? Because he was a little m**...

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Wall Sit One Liners

Which wall sit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wall sit? I can suggest the ones about brick wall and laugh in wall.

  1. Found On A Bathroom Wall Here I sit
    taking a dump,
    Giving birth
    to another Trump
  2. How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped? Wall-sits.
  3. What's brown and sits on a wall? Humpty Dump
  4. What do you call a Chinese man sitting on a wall? Ray ling

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about wall sit can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of wall sit puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Wall Sit Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about wall sit you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean standing desk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make wall sit prank.

A doctor walks into a room full of patients at a mental institution, takes out a pen, and draws a door on the wall. He then tells all the patients that whoever wants to escape, should use that door. Immediately they all rush towards it, but of course cannot go through. However, one patient sits still in the back with a smile on his face. He has not moved at all. The doctor thinks he must be cured. He then asks the patient why he did not rush to the door, and the patient whispers, "They don't know that I'm the one who has the key."

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched, thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the backseat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years!" "I remember that too," she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today!"

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man knit his brow.
"Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad. "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"

An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me."
Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.....

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.... "Why are you down here at this time of night!?"
The husband looks up from his drink, "It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met."
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15," he said solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses....... The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?"
"I remember that, too" she replied softly...
He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today."

Drunk in confession booth.

A drunk staggers into a church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to just sit there. Finally,the priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

CIA final test

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background
checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists:
two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of
the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what
the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in
a chair. You have to kill her."
The first man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my
wife."
The agent replies, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the
agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my
wife."
The agent replies, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and
go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. Only she was told to kill her
husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, b**... on the
walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and
there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said,
"You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat
him to death with the chair."

A man's wife has been getting onto him for drinking so much...

...but he decides to go out to the bar--just one last time--anyway. As it's his last there, he drinks excessively and gets even more plastered than usual.
The next morning, he wakes up in his own bed not really sure how he got there. Before opening his eyes, he starts imagining how infuriated his wife must be. But when he looks around, his wife isn't there. Instead, there's a hot breakfast on the end table next to a note wishing him a good day and expressing her love.
Suspicious, the man gets out of bed. He goes into the living room and sees a table and chair knocked on their sides and a couple pictures that had fallen off the wall. His son is sitting on the couch, so he asked him what happened.
"Well, Dad, you were pretty drunk when you came home last night," his son replies. "You stumbled in, knocked over the furniture and pictures until Mom woke up and helped you."
"Okay, but what's with the hot breakfast?" he asks. "Why isn't she yelling at me right now?"
"Oh," the son says. "When she tried to lead you into the bedroom, you said, 'No thanks, lady, I'm married.'"

FBI Job Opening

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks,interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, b**... on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from
her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him
to death with the chair.'

High School Reunion

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1975. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkle-faced, fat, gray-haired, old man asked me:
"What did you teach?"

A teacher asks her class...

A teacher asks her class "if there are 5 birds sitting on a wall and you shoot one of them how many are left?" She calls on little johnny "none they all fly away at the first gunshot" the teacher replies "the correct answer is 4 but I like your thinking" then little johnny replies "now I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream. One is delicately liking the sides of a triple scoop ice cream, the second is gobbling down the top and s**... the cone and the third is biting of the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher blushes and replies "well I guess the one that is gobbling down top and s**... the cone" "the correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking"

A crusty old biker walls into a bar..

..and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, b**..., beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a s**... little smile.
The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

Got this one in a forward from my dad - I did not see that one coming.

 
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD..
WELL .. . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.
MY NAME IS MARY , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .
YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALDING,
WRINKLED FACED,
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT
s**...
ASKED
"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?

Seamus and Patrick were building a house.

Seamus was hammering the cladding onto the walls on one side of the house, while Patrick was doing the same on the other side.
After a wee while Seamus begins to notice that Patrick was swearing away a good deal more than he usually did, so he decided to wander over to the other side of the house to see what was wrong.
"Hey, Patrick, what's troubling you so mightily?" asked Seamus.
"Well, you see, it's these nails," said Patrick, gesturing towards the bucket of nails sitting beside him. "A lot of them are faulty. When I pull one out, half the time it's facing the wrong way."
"You idiot, Patrick!" said Seamus. "They're for my side of the house."

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her. The first man said. You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife,
The agent replies, Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. I tried, but I can't kill my wife. The agent replies, You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.
Finally, it was the woman's turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, b**... on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.

20 years

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'either you marry my daughter, or will send you to jail for 20 years?'" "I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said...... "I would have gotten out today."

College money...

There was a kid that went to college, and his Dad sent him enough money for the whole year, well the kid blew through that in the first half of the first semester.
He didn't want to just ask his Dad for more money because he knew he probably wouldn't give it to him.
So he calls his Dad and asks to send their dog, Old Blue with $1000, to the college and he will enroll him in a class that teaches dogs to talk.
The Father thinks that's neat so he sends the dog and the money, and after the end of the first semester, the kid has blown through all that money too.
So he calls his Dad again, and tells him that if he sends $2500 he will enroll Old Blue into a class to teach dogs to read. The Dad thinks this is real cool, so he sends him the money.
At the end of the year the kid knew he couldn't bring Old Blue home with him, because he could not talk nor read.
He called his Dad before summer break, and told him, I had to shoot Old Blue, the Father shocked, You had to shoot Old Blue? Yeah, well he was sitting there reading the Wall Street Journal like he always does, and he looks at me and says, Hey, is your Dad still seeing that red headed broad down the street? The Dad said, You have done the right thing son! You need anymore money?
Credit/Heard this from my Dad who says his preacher told him this one.

Some of my favorite SFW jokes

Some of my personal favorite ones:
A snail gets mugged by a gang of turtles. When the police show up and ask what happened the snail say " I don't know, it happened so fast..."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver say "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her "The driver just insulted me!" The man say, "you go right up there and tell him off--I'll hold your monkey for you."
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to co-ordinate their travel schedules...so, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address and without realizing his error he sent the e mail to somewhere in Houston. A widow had just returned home from her husband's f**.... He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. Her son rushed into the room and found his mother on the floor and couldn't imagine what happened to her until he looked up at the computer screen and read...
TO: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: January 12, 2008.
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. Your Loving Husband
P.S. Sure is hot down here!!
And finally,
A man goes into the confessional box. He finds on one wall a small bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a box of the finest Cuban cigars. On the seat is the latest copy of p**.... Finally, the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days." The priest replies, "Get out. You're on the my side."

A drunk guy enters a Catholic church

A drunk guy enters a Catholic church. He stumbles along, talks with the statues and finally enters the confessional where he sits down quietly on the chair. The priest patiently waits for him then coughs a bit but he gets no reaction. He waits a little while longer and knocks in the wall, finally drawing the drunk's attention:
-Stop the knocking, fool, there's no toilet paper in here either!

A strange man walks into a bar.

A man was sitting at the bar, sipping his pint, when suddenly a man wearing a white morph suit, tweed jacket and a deer stalker walks into the bar. He walks straight up the wall, across the ceiling and back down the wall towards the bar.
He points towards the Jack Daniel's & puts up 2 fingers and the barman pours a double. In one swift motion he downs in, walks back up the wall, across the ceiling, down the other wall and out the door.
Then the man sat at the bar turns round to the Barman and says "That was a bit odd wasn't it?" and the Barman says "Yeah he usually has a Guinness".

God decided to visit Earth...

...so He traveled from Heaven to the big city. He walked down the street until he came upon a beggar sitting against a wall, crying.
"What ails you, my son?" asked God.
"I've been overtaken with a crippling disease and I can no longer walk" replied the man.
However, God took pity on the beggar and cured him with a snap of the fingers. The beggar stood up and ran down the street, laughing with joy.
Ambling down the road, God spies another man sitting on the curb, crying.
"What ails you, my son?" asked God again.
"Well," said the wretch, "Last week a p**... fell on my head and I was struck blind."
With another snap of his fingers God granted sight to the man, who thanked Him profusely before walking away.
Continuing down the boulevard God spotted yet a third man sitting on the curb, weeping to himself.
"What ails you, my son?" asked God?
"Well, sir," said the man, "I am a high school chorus teacher."
And the Lord sat down and wept with him.

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of p**... n**... calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"

What do you call a man with no arms & no legs...

...hanging on the wall? Art
...floating in the sea? Bob
...laying on the floor? Matt
...down in a hole? Phil
...sitting in a p**...? Stu
...

The innocent one

A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future
would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job.
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.

He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I
don't have a wife",
second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children",
third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job".
He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside
and says


"Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved".

Confession

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confessional booth and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally,the drunk replies:"No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either."

- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?

One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father:
- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?
Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question:
- Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?
- Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife
Daddy turns to his teenage daughter:
- Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?
- Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.
Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks:
- Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!
Eldest son thinks a little and replies:
- Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.
Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:
- You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.....

I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Mary's high school.
"Yes. yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1989. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, gray-haired, decrepit, s**..., asked,
"What did you teach" ?

A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy

Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this is?
After a moment of silence an elderly specialist sitting in one of the front rows gets up and says "wedding cake"

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.
The first says that he is really hungry and flys into the night. After half an hour he returns and his mouth is full of blood. The other two ask him: "where did you get that?" He answers: "Do you see that little light across the hill? It was a little family at a camping trip. Delicious!" 
The second vampire starts in the air and returns 15minutes later, the whole face covered with blood. The others ask jealousy: "Where have you been?" Smiling he answers: "You guys see that group of lights down there? It was a wedding with over 20guests. I don't have to eat for a week!"
Finally the third vampire starts into the dark sky, and returns about five minutes later. His whole body, top to bottom is covered in blood.
Exited the other two ask:"Man where did you go?!" 
"Do you see that tree right there?"
"Yes"
"Well, I didn't"

I used to be a huge fan of tractors.

When I was younger I loved them in all shapes and sizes. This was until I went to the county fare when I was 10, and the farmer refused to let me sit in his tractor. I ran home and cried my eyes out, tore all the tractor posters off my wall and that was that.
11 years later standing in the doorway of a night club, surrounded by smokers my friend leans across to me and says:
This smoke is really unpleasant
I open my lungs, s**... up all the smoke and exhale it far in the other direction.
He says: Wow, how did you do that?
To which I reply: I'm an ex-tractor fan

An American and a Mexican are sitting at the beach when a genie offers both of them one wish.

The American says:
"I'd like a 5-mile-high wall around the US so that no foreigners or i**... Chinese goods can enter without our government's permission." And voilá the wall is built.
The genie then asks the Mexican what he wants:
"Fill it with lava."

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
He hears a priest come in. Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.
The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. You're on my side!

Vladislav

There was once a man named Vladislav. He worked an average job, received minimum wage, and was frustrated with his life.
One day he received a call from his wife, who told him out of guilt that she had been cheating on him for several months now, and wanted to stop by the house to collect her belongings before she left him.
Upon reaching home, the wife saw Vlad sitting on a couch, staring at the wall.
"Vladislav..."
He looks at her and says with an unmoving expression:
"Baby, don't hurt me."

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?

Art.
That same guy in your pool? Bob
Same guy in your hot tub? Stew
Sitting under your car that's missing a wheel? Jack
Same guy on your porch? Matt
Same guy getting hit with a baseball bat? Homer
Same guy lying in a pile of leaves? Russel
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
Chinese girl with the same condition? Irene.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.

He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.

A priest is taking confessions late on a quiet night...

...and after a while hears a man stumble up to the booth, clumsily enter and sit down. The priest can clearly smell the reek of alchol and assumes the gentlemen is rather drunk.
The priest waits for the man to begin but after several minutes of silence he starts to wonder if the man has fallen asleep. Politely he knocks on the wall but nothing happens. After another minute he knocks again, louder. After more silence he heavily thumps the wall, shaking the booth a little.
"Alight, alright. I hear you," says the drunk. "There's no point knocking though, I can't find any paper on this side either."

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all," the woman replied.
The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all." the woman replied.
The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a wall.

Patients in an insane asylum are eating plaster off the walls,

the head doctor calls in the best doctor in the country to try and solve this problem. So the best doctor comes in and inspects the walls. He tells the head doctor to repaint the walls from red to green. The next day after the walls are repainted the head doctor comes in and sees the patients sitting and staring at the walls. "Why aren't you eating the walls now?" the head doctor asks them. "They arn't ripe yet"

A drunk staggers into a church one evening, goes into the confessional box and sits down. He doesn't say a word.

The priest coughs to try and get his attention. There's no response so the priest coughs again. There's still no response from the drunk.
The priest coughs a couple of more times and still doesn't get any response, so finally he pounds on the wall.
The drunk slurs, "There's no use knocking. There's no paper this side either."

A guy walks into a bar...

He says "ouch!" the bartender says "what happened" the guy says "I walked into your bar!"
The tender comes around and see's a piece of rebar sticking out of the wall. "Yikes, here come take a seat at the bar and ill pour you a drink"... He turns around to see the man sitting on the ground beneath the rebar.
"What the heck are you doing?"
"Well im sitting at your bar d**...!"
The bartender raises his eyebrows and grabs a putty knife and a container from behind the counter, next he pushes the rebar back into the drywall and hands the guy the two things.
"Well, if you are going to sit at my bar you might as well get plastered".

A psychiatrist in a mental asylum wanted to test the sanity of the patients

He gathered the patients in a room, then drew a door on a wall with a chalk. He pointed at the "door" and told the patient, open this door and you are free to leave through it. The patients then beging to fruitlessly trying to open the fake door, exept for one patient who just sit in place watching the other patients with an amused grin on his face. The psychiatrist approached the lone patient thinking she might be cured and asked her why she didn't try to open the fake door like other patients.
The patient opened her hand to show scribble of a key on her palm and said, "I dont want anyone to come with me„

How was your job interview yesterday?

Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
Nothing...
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??

How did your interview go yesterday?

\- Well, I entered the office and found the interviewer sitting on a large black leather chair. He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to go outside with it and then come back and try to sell it. He thought himself as Leonardo DiCaprio from the Wolf of Wall Street.
\- So what did you do?
\- Well, obviously I obliged. I took the laptop and left the room.
\- Then what?
\- Nothing. 30 minutes later he called me up. Begging me to return it cause all his important documents were in it. So I asked him: will you buy it?

Three senior ladies are sitting on a park bench.

A man walls up in an overcoat and flashes them.
The first two had a s**.... The third would have had a s**... as well but she could not reach.

2 Midgets go to a brothel...

2 midgets, John and Terry, go to a brothel and each get a girl for the night.
John has a terrible night. No matter what the girl does for him, he just cant get it up.
He sits on the bed all night, crying, all while hearing Terry through the wall yelling over and over, "1, 2, 3, HERE I COME AGAIN!! AAAAAHHHH!" finished off by a loud thud.
In the morning, John and Terry meet up and go get some breakfast.
Terry sees that something is really bothering John, so he asks John about it.
John says "It was awful. I couldnt get it up no matter what she did."
Terry says, "You think that's bad? I couldn't even get up on the bed!"

A man sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar..

.. so he approaches her. They have a few drinks, flirt and laugh a little bit and after a while, the woman invites him to come to her apartment which the man accepts right away.
They go to her apartment and start having wild s**... for hours. It was the best s**... the man ever had. After they finish, the man lights up a cigarette after which he notices there is a picture of a man on the wall.
"Is that a picture of your husband?", he asked.
"No", she replied as she light up her own cigarette.
"Then your brother perhaps?", the man asked curiously.
"No",she said. "Its a picture of me from 3 years ago."

a man meet his friend

sitting on a rock in the middle of his living room. as they're carrying it outside the man says :
\- man why was that rock here ?
\- because of the genie in this bottle
\- a genie ?!
he takes the bottle and a genie gets out and says :
\- i can grant you one wish
\- well my car broke down last week so... i want a rover
a little wall appears and the genie says :
\- here you can use this as cover
the genie gets back into the bottle and the man is furious
\- what the heck ?! i wanted a rover not a cover !
and his friend says :
\- you really tought i wanted a big rock ?

A hearse is driving up the street...

A hearse is driving up a very steep street and once it gets near the top, the back door opens up and the coffin comes shooting out of the hearse and rolls down the street.
People are diving out of the way, cars are swerving, it's chaos! By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it has picked up a lot of speed and crashes into a wall surrounded by people.
The door pops open, the body sits up and says Do you have anything to stop this coughin?

A drunk enters a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth sits down but says nothing

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there, not saying a word.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
To which the drunk mumbles, Sorry, can't help you. There's no paper on this side either.

A little boy is sitting with his grandfather (Hans) on a hill overlooking their small town.

The grandfather points out a church in the middle of town and says, "you see that church? I built it, but do they call me "Hans the Church Builder"? No."
A couple minutes later, Hans points out a long brick wall along the outskirts of town. He says to his grandson, "you see that brick wall? I laid all those bricks, but do they call me "Hans the Brick-Layer"? No."
A little while later, Hans points to a bridge just outside of town and says "you see that bridge? I built that bridge! Do they call me "Hans the Bridge-Builder"? No! But you f\*\*k *one sheep*..."

Irish Confession

Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby.
And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
He hears a priest come in. Father, forgive I think its been a while since I've been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. You're on my side!

What's green, hangs on the wall, and whistles?

Forgive me if this is a repost, but this is an old Jewish joke that my father loved to tell and I don't think I've seen it here before
So two old Jewish men are sitting shooting the breeze, and one says he has a riddle for the other.
"What's green, hangs on the wall, and whistles?"
The second man thinks long and hard and finally admits that he is stumped, and asks for the answer, to which the first man replies "A herring"
"But, a herring isn't green"
"So, you paint it green"
"And a herring doesn't hang on the wall"
"So, you hang it on the wall"
"A herring does not whistle"
"...ehh, two out of three ain't bad"

A beer bottle is sitting on a table.

And it is saying Well you know if you break me you get a years bad luck
The mirror is sitting on the wall and saying Are you kidding me if you break me you get seven years bad luck
And the c**... is just sitting there saying HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church...

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin', there's *no* *paper on this side* either!"

A drunk staggers into a Catholic church

He enters a confession booth and sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk man shouts, "Ain't no use knocking! There's no paper on this side either!"

A German man is sitting in a waiting room.

The clock on the wall is going Tick,.....Tick,.....,Tick,.....,
Suddenly he jumps up, rips the face off the clock, bends it's hands behind it's back and says...
"Ve have vays of making you Tock!"

An old man and his grand daughter were sitting together in a room

The grandfather says to his grand daughter;
' Susie, get me a newspaper, will ya'
The grand daughter says;
' Oh grandpa you are such a boring boomer, it's the 21st century we normal human beings use phones now'. 'Here take my phone', she hands over her phone to the old man.
The grandfather then takes her phone and throws it at the spider sitting on the wall

Ol' Jed

Ol' Jed was sitting on his porch when his youngest grandson walked up to him.
"Granpa, how did you get to live so to be so old?"
"What, I'm only 85!" he exclaimed before snorting. "Well, let me tell you something. Every morning I sprinkle just a little gunpowder into my oatmeal. It's good for the heart!"
"Gunpowder!? No way! Are you joshin' with me?"
"Nope! Mark my words. Just a little pinch every morning. You'll see."
Sure enough, Ol' Jed lived another 14 years before leaving behind 7 kids, 10 grand kids, 18 great-grand kids, and a 9 foot hole in the Crematorium wall...

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these wall sit jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.