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Wall Jokes

199 wall jokes and hilarious wall puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wall that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you need a break from the everyday grind? Check out this hilarious collection of off-the-wall jokes about cell walls, Berlin Walls, bathroom walls, and fences. Read on to laugh yourself yuge with these brick wall jokes.

Funniest Wall Short Jokes

Short wall jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wall humour may include short floor jokes also.

  1. Breaking News: bill gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.
  2. As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back. And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
  3. I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book... She laughed at me, and said
    "Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."
    So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
  4. I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint You have to say
    Leroy, please paint that wall
  5. Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion Probably because Mexico has more aliens
  6. So I put a giant map of the world up on the wall and gave my wife a dart. I told her wherever it lands is where we go on holiday. I guess we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
  7. We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.
  8. Trumpty Dumpty Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall
    Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
    All the golf courses and all the white men
    Couldn't Make America Great Again
  9. Wife: Do men wipe after they pee? Aging husband: Yes. Wipe the floor, wipe the rim, wipe the wall…..
  10. What's between an introvert and an extrovert? A wall.
    (I know it wasn't funny, but it popped into my mind, and I thought it was decent enough)

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Wall One Liners

Which wall one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wall? I can suggest the ones about doors and wand.

  1. They should build the wall with Hillary's emails Because nobody can get over them.
  2. Mexico called. They are willing to pay for the wall now.
  3. Wall Street execs to redditors: "This isn't a game. Stop!"
  4. A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony. Police are looking into it.
  5. I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall It was a little condescending
  6. A hole was found in a nudist camp wall The police are now looking into it.
  7. Guys, I just figured out how to walk thorough walls! Doors
  8. What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? Dam.
  9. What do you call an Irishman who bounces off of walls? Rick O'Shea.
  10. Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall… I thought that's a little condescending
  11. After yesterday's events Mexico has agreed to pay for the wall and Canada wants one too.
  12. A fish swimming in a river hits into a wall and yells Dam.
  13. How do you make your wife scream after s**...? Wipe your d**... on the curtain.
  14. The Mexicans are really angry about the wall. Don't worry, they'll get over it
  15. What do Pink Floyd and princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.

Trump Wall Jokes

Here is a list of funny trump wall jokes and even better trump wall puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.
  • Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans... This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water.
  • I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, Eh. I'll get over it.
  • Why did Trump throw so many plates against the wall like a baby? He wanted to seem tough on china.
  • Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work. China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
  • Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed I'm sure they'll soon get over it
  • Say what you want about Trump's wall But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don't see any Mexicans
  • Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!
  • Trump's wall will be useless since it doesn't extend into the oceans..... Everyone knows Jesus can walk on water.
  • People should not move to Canada because of Trump They should go to Mexico, then at least there will be a wall between them and Trump.

Wall Sit Jokes

Here is a list of funny wall sit jokes and even better wall sit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Facebook is like jail You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
  • Girls at dances who are sitting by the wall waiting for a partner are called wallflowers... So does that make men doing the same 'wallnuts'?
  • Found On A Bathroom Wall Here I sit
    taking a dump,
    Giving birth
    to another Trump
  • Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall?
    A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd!
    Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall?
    A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
  • What's the difference between a jail and Facebook? Basically none.
    You sit, waste your time and write on the wall.
  • How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped? Wall-sits.
  • Written on the Bathroom Wall... *Here I sit
    Broken-hearted
    Tried to rhyme
    Couldn't even get the meter right.*
  • A child asks her dad... "Dad, what should I do if I get cold?"
    "You sit next to a wall."- the dad answers
    "Why is that?"- the daughter is confused
    "Because it's 90 degrees there."
  • What's brown and sits on a wall? Humpty Dump
  • Elvis Presley, Tupac Shakur, and Kim Kong Un go into a bar. Elvis order a Peach Brandy, Tupac ordered a Hennessy. They just placed Kim Jong Un sitting up against a wall because he's really dead.
Wall joke, Elvis Presley, Tupac Shakur, and Kim Kong Un go into a bar. Elvis order a Peach Brandy, Tupac ordere

Wall Street Jokes

Here is a list of funny wall street jokes and even better wall street puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So the Wolf of Wall Street has the f word used 569 times making almost 3 times a minute That record was broken by my dad this afternoon while trying to assemble an ikea tv stand
  • What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street? A large fortune
  • i heard on the news that some message board site is bankrupting wall street billionaires "reddit?"
    no i said i HEARD it
  • The Wolf of Wall Street broke the record for saying the f-word 506 times The previous record was held by my dad putting together a table from IKEA.
  • Where is Wall Street? Between Mexico and the US.
  • "Just the bonuses for the CEO's on Wall Street equals the amount of what half of all American's make on minimum wage in a year" : New York Times But we have a national holiday today called Labor Day
  • For my cake day, a joke I read recently. The irony of Wall Street:
    The dealer, not the customer, is called broker.
  • What do Wall Street and King Midas have in common? Goldman Sachs
  • What do you call a street on the Mexican border? Wall Street
  • What do you call a Wall Street marionette? A stock puppet.

Border Wall Jokes

Here is a list of funny border wall jokes and even better border wall puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.
  • This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is... a Mexican stand off.
  • Mexicans were asked what they thought of Trump's border wall. They replied, "we're very upset... ...but we'll get over it."
  • I had a joke about Trumps border wall But it doesn't hold up over time.
  • China has a border wall And they have no Mexicans
  • Bill Gates has agreed to fund Trump's border wall... On the one condition that they install Windows.
  • How will a border wall keep us safe... If it keeps Americans IN?
  • Mexicans WILL build the wall... Upon contract of Canadian goverment for their owm southern border!
  • The Democrats agreed to sign over $6 Billion for the construction of the border wall, on one condition... that Trump stay on the other side. Trump agreed.

    ...but Mexicans refused.
  • I had a joke about Trump's border wall ... ... but it fell flat.

Off The Wall Jokes

Here is a list of funny off the wall jokes and even better off the wall puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My next door neighbor is Bulimic and she was making so much noise last night, that I banged on the wall and shouted... "For goodness sake, keep it down!"
  • The recipe said, Set the oven to 180 degrees. Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.
  • A girl I was dating invited me over to her place. When I went into her room, she had a Soviet banner draped on her wall. I left immediately. It was a big red flag.
  • Apparently saying "Black Paint" is not politically correct, The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"
  • I just turned on nickelodeon and saw bob the builder building a wall... ... to keep Dora from exploring.
  • I was reversing my car in the garage and asked my son to spot me, and let me know when I hit the wall. I heard a bang. "3:45 PM", he said.
  • The other day, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. About halfway down he turned and sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."
  • I was woken up again last night by the bulimic girl next door. I banged on the wall and shouted, "For God's sake, keep it down!"
  • My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to use the chair lift to go upstairs. It is driving him up the wall.
  • I have a feeling that I'll be fired from my job at the graffiti removal company. The writing is on the wall.
Wall joke, I have a feeling that I'll be fired from my job at the graffiti removal company.

Amusing & Witty Wall Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about wall you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wall pranks.

A Kinect game made me angry enough to throw the controller at a wall...

I've been in the hospital for 2 days now.

Drunk in confession booth.

A drunk staggers into a church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to just sit there. Finally,the priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

No Strings

Two strings wanted to go into a bar. The bar had a sign up "We do not serve strings" One of them said to the other I've got an idea. He slammed into the wall, scooted and twisted himself around on the ground and then began tearing at his ends. He walked into the bar and the bartender said "Hey aren't you a string?" He looked at the bartender and said "I'm a frayed knot"

Three men are in a waiting room while their wives are giving birth...

The nurse comes out and says to the first man, "Congratulations, you're the father of twins!" "That's funny," he said," I work for Double Tree. Later on the nurse came out again and said to the second father, saying, "Congratulations, you're the father of triplets!" The man responded, "That's funny, I work for 3M. The third man started b**... his head against the wall, yelling. When they asked him what was wrong, he responded, "I work for 7 Up!"

Two policemen are walking down the street in Soviet Russia...

...when they spot a guy standing next to the local Party Headquarters holding a paintbrush. On the wall, he's just written "The government is run by idiots!". The first policeman pulls out a pair of handcuffs and asks the second, "Shall we arrest him for vandalizing public property, or for divulging state secrets?".

Irishman in confession

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."

A recently deceased man was being shown around heaven.

St Peter was looking after him by showing him the various facilities that were available. At the end of the tour, St Peter asked the man if he had any questions.
The man could only think of one. He pointed to a long wall running along one side. "Why do you have a wall there?" asked the man.
St Peter sighed and said, "That is for the Catholics. They`re on the other side. They like to think that they are the only ones here."

Cough Medicine

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

A f**... rerun . . .

A f**... service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another f**... for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

c**... advice

The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
He asks the clerk:
"What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him a bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist said:
"You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
The clerk responded, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough!

What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?

Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.

I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall

As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of p**... n**... calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"

During a f**......

The pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another f**... for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

Everything's racist these days.

You can't even say "black paint" anymore.
You have to say "Tyrone, paint that wall".

The English and the Scots.

A Englishman and a Scot are walking along the beach when the Englishman kicks over a lamp and a genie appears. He grants them one wish each. The Englishman says "I wish a hundred foot tall and 100 feet wide wall surrounded England, and no-one can get in or out." The genie snaps his fingers and says "It is done." He then turns to the Scot, who says "Fill it with water."

John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?

The lawnmower.

An American girl goes on vacation to Berlin

While walking through town one night, she sees a drunk guy openly taking a leak up against a wall.
Disgusted, she loudly proclaims, "g**...!"
The man turns with a proud smile on his face and says, "Danke!"

The world is so politically correct these days.

You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"

A guy walks into a drugstore and sees a guy leaning heavily against the wall

He asks the clerk, 'What's with that guy?'
Clerk says, 'He came in with a bad cough and asked me for cough medicine. We were out of cough medicine, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxative instead.'
The guy says, 'What?! You can't treat a cough with laxative!'
The clerk replies, 'Of course you can! Look at him. He's afraid to cough!'

So my wife's wallet got stolen 6 months ago...

...and all her credit cards are in it but I haven't reported it to the police yet because the thieves are spending less than she does!!!

Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea?

It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.

A man takes his wife out to dinner

A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, "I want you to treat me like a princess." The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall.

I don't know why people say building a wall doesn't work

The chinese did it 2000 years ago and they still don't have any mexicans.

A Scotsman moves to London

How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps b**... his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.

Canada already has a wall that keeps out the Mexicans...

Its called the United States.

My parents wanted to name me Odysseus

because I, too, broke through the t**... wall.

Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall.

We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained.

I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today

All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous

I don't understand why ...

I don't understand why Mexicans are so upset that Trump is going to build a wall.
They should just get over it.

Not everything Donald Trump says is s**....

The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

What are they going to use to build the wall?

The bricks that were s**... by people when Trump became president.

Depression in Mexico

There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.

Today I drove by a prison...

and saw a midget prisoner climbing down the wall.
As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending.

A man goes to jail.

A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.

He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.

So a prison break was happening...

And I happened to be walking around when it happened. It had a huge wall, and I saw someone climbing down from it. Turns out I knew the guy, he's a famous midget con artist that I ratted out. As he climbed down, he gave me this wretched look.
It was a little condescending.

The Great Wall Of China Is Famous

Because it's the only Chinese product that lasted this long.

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all," the woman replied.
The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his f**... on the wall.

I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.

How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?

Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.

A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all." the woman replied.
The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a wall.

All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago

...and they still don't have any i**... Mexicans.

How to Live a Long Life

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

Harry Potter woke up in a hospital.

A little confused he asked "where am I?"
Doctor: "why you were in a coma and just awoke in this fine hospital"
"Why am I in a muggle Hospital?" he mumbled to himself
slightly hearing him the doctor spoke " Son, Take it easy, you ran face first into a wall and have been in a coma for 8 years"

A drunk staggers into a church one evening, goes into the confessional box and sits down. He doesn't say a word.

The priest coughs to try and get his attention. There's no response so the priest coughs again. There's still no response from the drunk.
The priest coughs a couple of more times and still doesn't get any response, so finally he pounds on the wall.
The drunk slurs, "There's no use knocking. There's no paper this side either."

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"

What's the worst thing that can happen to a man?

Running into a wall while e**... and breaking your nose.

I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall...

I thought, that's a little condescending.

Trump should hire the Chinese to build the wall.

They had one for over 2000 years and they still don't have any Mexicans.

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

Wall joke, Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when peop

jokes about wall