The Best 81 Wall Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Wall jokes. There are some wall tarp jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these wall ceiling puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Wall Jokes and Puns
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint
You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall
Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall
On the condition he gets to install windows.
I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book...
She laughed at me, and said
"Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
Drunk in confession booth.
A drunk staggers into a church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to just sit there. Finally,the priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"
No Strings
Two strings wanted to go into a bar. The bar had a sign up "We do not serve strings" One of them said to the other I've got an idea. He slammed into the wall, scooted and twisted himself around on the ground and then began tearing at his ends. He walked into the bar and the bartender said "Hey aren't you a string?" He looked at the bartender and said "I'm a frayed knot"
Two policemen are walking down the street in Soviet Russia...
...when they spot a guy standing next to the local Party Headquarters holding a paintbrush. On the wall, he's just written "The government is run by idiots!". The first policeman pulls out a pair of handcuffs and asks the second, "Shall we arrest him for vandalizing public property, or for divulging state secrets?".
Irishman in confession
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."
A recently deceased man was being shown around heaven.
St Peter was looking after him by showing him the various facilities that were available. At the end of the tour, St Peter asked the man if he had any questions.
The man could only think of one. He pointed to a long wall running along one side. "Why do you have a wall there?" asked the man.
St Peter sighed and said, "That is for the Catholics. They`re on the other side. They like to think that they are the only ones here."
Cough Medicine
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Your mom walks into a sex shop and the clerk directs her to where they keep the vibrators. She points to one she likes and tells him: "I'll take that red one." The clerk responds:
"Ma'am, the vibrators are on the wall next to the fire extinguisher."
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?
Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.
You can explore wall fence reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wall rampart dad jokes. There are also wall puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall
As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."
a man goes to confess after 25 years
So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of playboy nude calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"
During a funeral...
The pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
Everything's racist these days.
You can't even say "black paint" anymore.
You have to say "Tyrone, paint that wall".
The English and the Scots.
A Englishman and a Scot are walking along the beach when the Englishman kicks over a lamp and a genie appears. He grants them one wish each. The Englishman says "I wish a hundred foot tall and 100 feet wide wall surrounded England, and no-one can get in or out." The genie snaps his fingers and says "It is done." He then turns to the Scot, who says "Fill it with water."
John Snow.
John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...
A Mexican with a raging erection walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?
The lawnmower.
An American girl goes on vacation to Berlin
While walking through town one night, she sees a drunk guy openly taking a leak up against a wall.
Disgusted, she loudly proclaims, "Gross!"
The man turns with a proud smile on his face and says, "Danke!"
The world is so politically correct these days.
You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"
A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony.
Police are looking into it.
Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work.
China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
A guy walks into a drugstore and sees a guy leaning heavily against the wall
He asks the clerk, 'What's with that guy?'
Clerk says, 'He came in with a bad cough and asked me for cough medicine. We were out of cough medicine, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxative instead.'
The guy says, 'What?! You can't treat a cough with laxative!'
The clerk replies, 'Of course you can! Look at him. He's afraid to cough!'
Who says building a border wall won't work?
The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.
Apparently saying "Black Paint" is not politically correct,
The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"
A Scotsman moves to London
How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps banging his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.
Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work.
The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.
People should not move to Canada because of Trump
They should go to Mexico, then at least there will be a wall between them and Trump.
Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans...
This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water.
I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today
All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous
What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?
Dam.
Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid.
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed
I'm sure they'll soon get over it
What are they going to use to build the wall?
The bricks that were shat by people when Trump became president.
I just turned on nickelodeon and saw bob the builder building a wall...
... to keep Dora from exploring.
Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion
Probably because Mexico has more aliens
Trump's wall will be useless since it doesn't extend into the oceans.....
Everyone knows Jesus can walk on water.
A man goes to jail.
A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."
I was woken up again last night by the bulimic girl next door.
I banged on the wall and shouted, "For God's sake, keep it down!"
A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.
He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.
A hole was found in a nudist camp wall
The police are now looking into it.
So a prison break was happening...
And I happened to be walking around when it happened. It had a huge wall, and I saw someone climbing down from it. Turns out I knew the guy, he's a famous midget con artist that I ratted out. As he climbed down, he gave me this wretched look.
It was a little condescending.
They should build the wall with Hillary's emails
Because nobody can get over them.
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his faeces on the wall.
I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.
All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago
...and they still don't have any illegal Mexicans.
The other day, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall.
About halfway down he turned and sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."
How to Live a Long Life
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Harry Potter woke up in a hospital.
A little confused he asked "where am I?"
Doctor: "why you were in a coma and just awoke in this fine hospital"
"Why am I in a muggle Hospital?" he mumbled to himself
slightly hearing him the doctor spoke " Son, Take it easy, you ran face first into a wall and have been in a coma for 8 years"
My next door neighbor is Bulimic and she was making so much noise last night, that I banged on the wall and shouted...
"For goodness sake, keep it down!"
A drunk staggers into a church one evening, goes into the confessional box and sits down. He doesn't say a word.
The priest coughs to try and get his attention. There's no response so the priest coughs again. There's still no response from the drunk.
The priest coughs a couple of more times and still doesn't get any response, so finally he pounds on the wall.
The drunk slurs, "There's no use knocking. There's no paper this side either."
A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.
Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"
My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to use the chair lift to go upstairs.
It is driving him up the wall.
Say what you want about Trump's wall
But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don't see any Mexicans
What's the worst thing that can happen to a man?
Running into a wall while erect and breaking your nose.
I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall...
I thought, that's a little condescending.
I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall.
He said, Eh. I'll get over it.
Trump should hire the Chinese to build the wall.
They had one for over 2000 years and they still don't have any Mexicans.
We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall
Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.
Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...
People will eventually get over it.
I know now why Trump wants to build a wall
It's been years since he managed to erect anything
Mexico called.
They are willing to pay for the wall now.
Irish Confession
Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby.
And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
He hears a priest come in. Father, forgive I think its been a while since I've been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. You're on my side!
As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back.
And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
The recipe said, Set the oven to 180 degrees.
Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.
A black man walks into a restaurant..
There is a huge sign on wall that says "Colored People Not Allowed."
The man takes a seat and a white man comes over in a hurry and says, " Excuse me son, we don't serve colored people in this restaurant. Im going to have to ask you to leave."
The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black.
But you, sir, when you're born you're pink, when you're sick you are green, when you're cold you turn blue and when you're angry you turn red.
And you have the nerve to call me colored!"
Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.
The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.
The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.
The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!
A man died and went to heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Trump's clock?"
"His Clock is in Jesus office. He's using it as a ceiling fan
I asked my dad, Why did you give me the name Achilles?
He said, Because you broke through the Trojan wall.
Trumpty Dumpty
Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall
Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the golf courses and all the white men
Couldn't Make America Great Again
My neighbour just banged on the wall at 4.20am, can you believe it!!? Luckilly I was still up playing music.
He banged and shouted ' can we have a little respect please!'
I shouted back..., 'I'm not a big Erasure fan, but ok this one's for you!'
Wall Street execs to redditors:
"This isn't a game. Stop!"
An Irishman goes into the confessional box...
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."
I know I'm gonna get hate for saying this, but there are some races that I just don't like.
For instance, anything with an obstacle in it. Like if I'm running 10k, don't make me climb over a wall halfway through it.
Her: I'm leaving. I'm sick of your constant mansplaining. I'm surprised you didn't see the writing on the wall.
Me: It's called graffiti, Karen.
I asked my wife to go get me a phone book.
She laughed at me, and said "You're so old. Just use my phone."
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
Two bats are going for their midnight feed
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
Total chaos would ensue.
What would happen if the fly on the wall told the elephant in the room about the skeleton in the closet?
A couple is driving on a highway
A couple is driving on a highway when she says, I want a divorce. The man doesn't say anything, except speeds up the car.
I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you. The man doesn't say anything except speeds up to he car.
I want the house, the bank account, kids, and the dog. The man doesn't say anything excepts speeds up the car.
She says, Are you listening to me? Don't you want anything?
The man replies, No, I have everything I need.
Oh? And what's that?
Right before the car rams into a wall, he says, The airbag.
Bill Cosby walks out of prison...
..and gets on a bus, and rides it to a long rock wall. Next to a big oak, he finds a letter.
He follows it to Mexico, where he finds Jeffrey Epstein working on his boat.
Two guys are attempting an escape from an insane asylum
Eventually they escape the main building but there are walls around the encampment so they get to a roof to get over the wall, they look at the gap between the roof and the wall and decide it's too dangerous. the first guy says,
Alright, we can't jump across so I'll just shine my flashlight over to the other side and you can walk across the light
The second guy looks at the first guy baffled by what he just said, he replies
What?? Do you think I'm stupid or something?… You'll just turn the flashlight off when I'm halfway!
How many children do you need to paint a wall red?
It depends on how strong your throw is.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the wall barrier jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working wall jenga piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.