walks into a bar Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious walks into a bar puns

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .

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Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar...

I don't remember the rest.

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A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem

He tells the bartender,"Give me 2 shots of..."

The bartender cuts him off saying,"You only get 1 shot."

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A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.

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A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks.

"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.

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Asian guy walks into a bar

He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it's because you're drinking my fucking beer.

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A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a crowded local bar, holding a pistol in his hand and yelling, I have a 45 caliber pistol here with seven rounds in the barrel plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife.
A voice from the other end of the bar called out, You'll need more ammo

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar

One turns and says to the other, "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there."

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Guy walks into a bar with a gun and snarls who had sex with my wife!!!

A guy in the back replies

You don't have enough bullets

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A Russian spy, a sexual predator and a billionaire walk into a bar

Bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"

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A horse walked into a bar



Bartender: Hey

Horse: Yes please

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An infinite number of people walk into a bar...

The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...


The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

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Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says...

Bear with me...

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar

One looks at the other and says, man, I blew like, twenty bucks in there!

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An underage weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."

The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"

The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.

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A blind man walks into a bar

The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"

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A man walks into a bar and orders nine shots of jaegermeister.

"Why are you ordering so many?" asks the barman?

"I just had my first blowjob" says the man.

"Well shit, congratulations, have a tenth one on me!"

"Thanks, but if nine doesn't get rid of the taste, nothing will".

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A Guy walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

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A cat walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The cat says, "A shot of rum."
The bartender pours the cat his drink.
The cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.
"Another."

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C and C++ walk into a bar...

After a few hours, C gets sloppy drunk and spills its drink all over C++. Outraged, C++ shouts, "good God C! Have you no class??"

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A sexual predator, a pathological liar, and a racist walk into a bar

The bartender says, What'll it be, Mr. President?

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So a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less.

The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."

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An Irish guy walks out of a bar....

It could happen.

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A Jake Paul fan walked into a bar

and got kicked out for being 10.

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The director of EA walks into a bar

*Download the punchline for only 4.99*

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...

The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave.

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A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar...

...the bartender says "how may I help you, Mr. President?"

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Two fat ladies walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

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CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

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A guy walks into a pub...

...And sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

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The bartender said we don't serve time travellers.

Two men walk into a bar.

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Snake walks into a bar.

And the bartender says ''How did you do that?''

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A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar

Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."

The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."

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An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.

"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".

"I'll have an Americano," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"

The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.

"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Northern Irishman walk into a bar

The Englishman wants to leave, so they all have to.

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What are the best Walks Into A Bar puns ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Walks Into A Bar? Well, here are the best Walks Into A Bar dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Walks Into A Bar pick up lines to share with friends.

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