That was a trip down memory lane
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other "hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"
A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"
So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".
The assailant says "give me all your money." The politician says "do you know who I am? I'm an important government official." The mugger says, "fine, give me all my money."
Someone tells her:
"Excuse me, Ms. You shouldn't walk like this with your breast out"
She looks at him. Looks at her breast. Turns back and runs away yelling:
"Fuck! I left my baby in the bus!"
And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked "Aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
From Les Dawson.
I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said "sure", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box...
"You'll never believe the bullshit I heard at work today. Bill Jenkins was bragging that he's fucked every woman on our street but one."
His wife smirks, stirring the gravy. "I bet it's that snooty old Cathy Anderson."
I shouted to him ,"Hey Denzel!" He responded, "Does every black man look like Denzel Washington to you?"
Classic Denzel.
And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:
"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"
She asked him...
"Want to have a good time?"...
"Sure"... he says....
They head off to the nearest hotel...
She takes off her clothes...all the while he's staring at her.....
The hooker says...."is this the first time you've seen a pussy since you crawled out of one?"
"Nope..just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into!"
When they see 3 guys across the road beating up an older woman. Fred turns to George and says
"Hey, isn't that your mother in law over there?"
"So it is." replies George
"Well aren't you going to help?!" Fred asked.
"Nah," George replied, "I think 3 should be enough"
I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
... and upon reaching a corner, we saw six men beating up someone. I was going to turn and lead my wife away from the crime happening before us, but suddenly she exlaimed
"Oh my god it's mom! Quick quick! Go and help!"
I turned to her and said
"Nah. I think 6's enough."
So a man is walking a penguin down the street on a lead. A policeman sees him and stops the man.
The policeman says, "what are you doing?! Take that penguin to the zoo!"
A week later, the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.
He says, "hey, I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!"
The man replies: "I did! He loved it! We're going to the theme park tomorrow!"
A young man who was walking down the street says "Hey Old-Timer, what happened in there". The old man looks at him and says "Well son, I am Jesus Christ". "Jesus Christ?", the young man replied skeptically. "Yes my son, follow me", the old man said as he walked into the bar.
As he enters, the bartender turns around and says "Jesus Christ! not you again!"
He asks her "would you have sex with me for a million dollars?"
The girl replies "hmm.. for a millian dollars sure!"
The man asks "would you have sex with me for free?"
The girl replies "for free? What kind of girl do you think I am?
The man replies "we've already found what kind of girl you are now we are just negotiating a price."
After the man got his haircut, he sat the boy in the barber's chair and said, "I'm just going to run around the corner to grab a paper." When the boy's haircut was donw, the man still hadn't returned. The barber said, "It looks like your dad's forgotten about you." "Oh, that wasn't my dad," the boy said, "He just walked up to me on the street, took my hand and said, "Come on, we're going to get a free haircut.""
The man then noticed a ladder leaning up against the building to his right. Again, he heard the voice: "Climb the ladder to success." The man shrugged and began to climb. The voice kept repeating itself and grew louder as the man approached the top. "Climb the ladder to success." Finally, the man reached the top of the building, where he found a fully naked man. "Hi, I'm Sess."
Kim says to Chloe, "Wait, someone is coming over." Chloe surprised and asks, "How can you tell? Its so dark out here." Kim explains, "You know I have this gift of smelling dick from a far." Chloe laughs and says, "No silly, I just burped."
Batman can walk the streets without Robin.
A few moments later another guy did exactly the same thing. The first guy said to him, "I just did that."
The second guy punched him in the face and called him a dirty bastard.
One sees a sign that says, "Tree fellers wanted." He turns to his companion and says, "Aye, 'tis a pity dere's only the two of us!"
This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time?" "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says,
"Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."
I just turned the other chin.
His neighbor is curious & asks, "Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"
The man replies, "You ever tried pushing it?"
..They walk past a gay club, one turns to the other and says "Hey wanna get shitfaced?"
A boy and his dad are walking through the streets
boy: "What does the word drunk mean?"
dad: "Well, for example, do you see those two policemen over there? if you were drunk you would think there are four policemen over there."
boy: "But dad there is only one policeman over there!"
"Hey man, wanna get shit-faced?"
...and they see a sign that says "Be white for 99 cents!" The first man says he has the dollar on him, the second man only has 98 cents. The first man says, okay, I'll go in and if it works, I'll give you the penny. First first man goes in and comes a while later. The second man asks "Can I have the penny?" The first man replies "Get a damn job!"
This story sounds kind of ridiculous...
Dozen tit.
When they spot a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. The pair race up to the sheep, where the marine drops his pants and begins fucking the sheep. After a few minutes he finishes, take a step back and asks the sailor "you want to give it a shot?"
The sailor replies "hell ya" and promptly sticks his head in the fence.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Walking Down The Street? Well, here are the best Walking Down The Street dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Walking Down The Street pick up lines to share with friends.