Walk Circles Jokes
42 walk circles jokes and hilarious walk circles puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about walk circles that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Walk Circles Short Jokes
Short walk circles jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The walk circles humour may include short circle jokes also.
- "Mommy, Mommy! I'm tired of walking around in a circle!" "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"
- An alcoholic is walking in the woods and stumbled upon his wife lying on the floor recently beaten to death. What does he do? Change his route, he is clearly walking in circles.
- Daddy why do I keep walking in circles? Dad: Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor
- Momma Momma, why am I walking in circles? Shut up before I nail your other foot to the floor!
- A donkey walked 12 miles.. but when measured the front leg walked 12 miles but the back legs walked only 10 miles
Its because he was walking in a circle - What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?"
"Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground." - A rooster smokes m**... and walks in a circle. What is the name for the ratio of the circumference of that circle to its diameter? Chicken p**... pi
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Walk Circles One Liners
Which walk circles one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with walk circles? I can suggest the ones about circle back and circle of life.
- A triangle walks up to a circle and says You're pointless!
- How do you stop a baby from walking in circles? Pin its other hand to the ground.
- Why do people walk in circles and not in squares? Because they are cutting corners.
- Sometimes I walk in circles... But it's just to get around.
Laughable Walk Circles Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about walk circles you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cycle path jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make walk circles pranks.
Dating in 1962
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!
Workers and Cats
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist and the fourth man was a government worker. To show off, the engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.. But the accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles with three cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, ""What can your cat do?" The government worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff. Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, bit the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers' Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Arrows & Targets
A boy gets a bow & arrow for his 10th birthday. He walks outside and starts shooting his arrows. Later his father walks in on him and exclaims, "Wow each of these arrows landed in a target great job! Lets go out for ice cream!" So his father and he go out for the ice cream after it's finished his father asks, "how did you do it?" Then the son says, "It wasn't hard. I just shot arrows and drew circles around them."
What do you do?
So, you are walking around in a forest and see a girl lying on the floor, half n**... and clothes tattered. She is weeping heavily, and you can tell she has just been r**....
What do you do?
You check your map, because you have been walking in a circle.
An Amish joke.
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady limping slightly with a cane slowly walks up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walks between them and into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched, small circles of light with numbers above the wall light up.
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father said to his son, "Go get your Mother."
A trucker and a blonde.
A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Why is six afraid of seven?
Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.
When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.
While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".
A chicken walks into a library
.. and it approaches the librarian desk, and starts clucking "bok Bok! boook bok bok." The librarian hands him a book, and the chicken tucks it under its wing and hastily runs out the door. A few moments later, the chicken runs back with the book, drops it on the floor, and again commences with "book bok BOK bok BOK!" The librarian picks up the second, book, hands the chicken a new book, and watches as the chicken scuttles off out the door again. Fifteen minutes later the chicken returns, drops the last book on the ground, paces around in a circle, and does the whole "Book bok BOK bok!" bit again, so the librarian hands it a third book, but this time follows the chicken down out the door. The librarian follows the chicken all the way down to a nearby river, where the chicken has dropped the book in front of a frog, which frustratingly replies with "read-it, read-it, read-it."
A blonde calls her boyfriend...
One day a man gets a call from his blond girlfriend.
"Hey Babe!"
"Listen, I need you to come over right now! I'm doing a puzzle and I think it's supposed to be a tiger but I just can't figure it out, I've been doing it for hours..."
The boyfriend was a little confused, as she didn't seem the type to buy a puzzle... But it was clear she was upset, so he made the trip over. He walked in to her apartment and saw her sitting on the floor, a blue box overturned and all the pieces arranged in random circles on the floor.
He looked at her for a while without saying anything, then just sighed and said, "Sweetie, lets get all these frosted flakes back in the box..."
A blind man walks into a bar
A blind man walks into a bar, lead by his seeing-eye dog. He stops in the middle of the bar, picks the dog up, places it on his shoulders and proceeds to spin in circles. The bartender asks the man, "Hey fella, why are you spinning around with your dog like that, huh?" The blind man stops and says, "Oh, I'm just looking around."
A blind man walks into a grocery store....
He comes through the doors swinging a dog in circles above his head by the tail. A clerk then asks,
"Sir is there anything I can help you with?"
The man replies,
"No thanks I'm just takin' a look around."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.
When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.
While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle
The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"
And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."
A minister, priest, and a rabbi....
Are all playing golf for money... They decide that they should give some money to their respective churches, but are unsure as to how to do it.
The priest gets an idea....walks over to the ball drop area, stands inside the circle and says, "I'm going to throw my money into the air. Whatever lands INSIDE this circle, I'll give to my church."
The minister, then goes over, stands inside the circle and says, "Ok. When i throw my money into the air, whatever lands OUTSIDE the circle is what I'll give away".
The rabbi then goes over to the circle, gets his money out, and says, "I'm going to throw my money in the air, and whatever God wants, He'll keep!"
A blind man walks into a convenience store with his service dog
He heads down an aisle and pauses, his faithful Golden Retriever by his side. With a grunt he picks the dog up by the leash and starts swinging him in circles over his head.
*Wooosh wooosh wooosh*
Bags of chips are flying around and candy bars are falling to the floor, along with a clamorous noise.
The frustrated store clerk yells at the man. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
"I'm just looking around."
A pastor walked outside.....
A pastor walked outside of the church because he heard the children being loud. He sees the kids all grouped up. "What are you doing?" The children make the circle wider to show a puppy they had found. "Its a beautiful dog, who will take it home?" The pastor asks. The children look at each other until one of them speaks up. "I know! Whoever tells the biggest lie can take it home! Would you like to play pastor?" The pastor shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't know, it will be hard because I've never told a lie." The child picks the dog up and hands it to the pastor, "Here you go. You win."
Two men fell madly in love with the same woman
They went to the woman and demanded she choose between them.
The woman told the two men that they were young and inexperienced, they should both go all the way around the world at least once before she could decide.
The first man immediately went home, began packing, and booked a the first flight out of the country.
The second man went home, but returned to the woman the next day and walked a circle around her. He looked into her eyes and told her that she was the whole world to him.
Who do you think she chose?
Answer: >!The rich one!<
Axel Voss walks into a bar.
Axel Voss walks into a bar.
"Bartender I am celebrating a victory in the European Parliament. Get me some very expensive drink."
"Sir, this is The Inventor's Bar - our drinks are named after inventions: the harder they are to invent, the more expensive the drink is. I would recommend Perpetuum Mobile Brandy, Squared Circle v**... or Halting Problem r**... for you."
"Do you have something even more luxurious?"
"Yes sir, try our most expensive beverage: try the Content Filter Which Tells Parody From Plagiarism Cognac!"
Thought of this earlier
About an hour after the news years party we were congregated into groups talking and o**... in our little circle goes I haven't showered since last year! It was too funny not to share with other people.
So when I got the opportunity I walked over to a group of people and said I haven't showered since last year! No one laughed. It really killed the v**... of Thanksgiving for me that year
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.
The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."
The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."
A blind man walks into...
A blind man and his seeing eye dog enter the local department store.
As the store manager strolls by he thinks, "It wonderful to see this man navigate the store without a single misstep or bumping into anything."
Just as he was about to approach the man, the manager observes the blind man grab his dog by the tail and swing him around over his head in a wide circle.
Rushing up to the blind man, the manager clearly upset runs up and asks him, " Sir, oh my God, what are you doing?"
The blind man replies, " Nothing, I'm just looking around."
A man visits a show of Amanda, the famous psychic and healer.
During the show Amanda walks to him, puts her hand on his shoulder and exclaims:
"You WILL walk!"
He says softly "But I'm fine, my legs already work."
She gestures dramatically and exclaims once more:
"YOU! WILL! WALK!"
The man decides to just play along, gets up and walks a small circle. The crowd goes nuts.
After the show he walks out, shakes his head and figures that this Amanda is just a fraud.
And then he discovered that his car got stolen.
Blind man walks into the grocery store with his seeing eye dog...
The man walks to the middle of the store, bends down, picks his dog up by the tail and begins swinging the dog around in a circle over his head.
The manager of the store approaches him and hesitantly asks, Sir, may I help you? . To which the blind man responds, No thanks. We're just looking around.
The Lone Ranger stops for a drink
The lone ranger and Tonto ride into town one hot, summer day. The Lone Ranger's horse is looking overheated so the Lone Ranger tells Tonto to run around in circles fanning the horse off.
Sometime later a cowboy walks into the saloon and asks "Who's horse is that out there with the silver saddle?"
"That would be me," says the Lone Ranger. "Well you left your i**... running."
A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:
A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:
"Someone call fer me?"
I look down at my homework, and back up at the pirate and say, "uhhh, I was just trying to figure out how to do this problem, nothing a pirate could help with."
The pirate walks menacingly toward me, and I consider whether to run or stay put.
"It's... ...uhhh... these circles... math...," I mutter, terrified.
"Arrrrrrr-ea? Well, every pirate knows that. It's 'Arrrrr pi Arrrrr'"
A teacher teaches class on drug a**...
He walks into the classroom, draws a big circle and a small circle on the blackboard and asks: What are these?
As nobody answers, he says: The big circle is your eye pupil, when you're clean, and the small circle is your eye pupil, when you're high! If the police see this, they put you in jail…
Then he proceeds to draw a small circle and a big circle and asks: What are these? . Nobody answers…
He points to the small circle and says: This is your a**..., before you go to jail….
A circle walks into a bar. The bartender sees him, and waves, then shouts to the whole room, "another drink for everybody - on this guy!" Everybody in the pub cheers.
But the circle is not happy. Frowning, he marches up to the bartender. "What the eff, dude? Why are all the drinks on me?" , the circle angrily demands of the bartender.
The bartender replies, "hey, don't get mad, circle buddy. It's just ... you're round!"