Wales Jokes
89 wales jokes and hilarious wales puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wales that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out these hilarious Wales jokes! From tourist sites to rugby and football teams to the famous lassies, we have something for everyone. Put a smile on a Welshman's face with these classic jokes about New South Wales and the Euro!
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Funniest Wales Short Jokes
Short wales jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wales humour may include short welsh jokes also.
- Owain Hughes joke Gavin and Stacey Gavin moves to Wales and meets a coworker named Owain Hughes.
Gavin: Before you ask, no I don't Owe Wayne Hughes.
- I bought some lamb today labelled 'Reared in Wales' I always thought that was just a racist joke.
- Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales; Lloysthwycyyrigridarbrewwthh..... Sorry, there was a hair in my mouth - I went to Swansea.
- A Man walks up to a pair of ladies in Downtown London Man: Good Afternoon are you ladies from England?
One of the Ladies Wales
Man: My apologies...Are you Whales from England - In USA being -on the lamb- means: :Running away from the Police, because they committed a crime.
In Wales it means...well, something else. - What do you call the largest mammal on earth that lives in a palace? (not mine) The Prince of Wales
- Classic An Englishman and an Irish man walk into a bar...
...they were watching Wales get through to the semi final. - It turns out Wales are due to do their own film version of the clown IT No one knows what the title will be yet, but I'm willing to bet it will be Welsh-IT
- The Celts of Scotland, Wales, and Ireland invented condoms made of sheep intestine. The invention didn't really take off until the English took the intestine out of the sheep before use.
- What do people say when they hear about the assassin from Wales? Welsh-hitman!
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Wales One Liners
Which wales one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wales? I can suggest the ones about welsh sheep and welshman sheep.
- What do you call 4 sheep tied to a fence in Wales? A Brothel :D
- What is the most popular bank in Wales? Welsh Fargo...
...gramps made me do it. - Why are there no penguins in Britain? They're scared of Wales.
- Do dolphins speak Welsh? Or is it just Wales.
- You know what's the favourite holiday song in Wales? All I Want For Christmas is Ewe
- I'm from wales, where the men are men And the sheep are nervous
- What do you call a sheep tied to lamppost in Wales? A leisure centre.
- How would you describe what Japanese fishermen do? They have a wale of a time.
- how would you describe a rich man from wales? he's very welshy
- Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh? It is the language of Wales.
- what r the best selling gloves in Wales? Velcro.
- Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive? The brides are already dressed in white.
- Which brand of cars was made in Wales? Toyota Cymru
- Where in Wales is the best place to get all in one Pyjamas? Swansea
- How do you drive through South Wales? Caerphilly
Gather Around for Fun Wales Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about wales you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean englishman and welshman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wales pranks.
Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?
Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)
Offering from the noticeboard of the Linga Longa pub, Gundy, new South Wales
Prayer for Beer:
Our Lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk
At home as it is in the pub
Give us this day out foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer
The bitter, the lager
Barmen.
Did you hear about the recently crowned Miss Wales?
Softest wool I've ever seen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you do when your wife Wales out of the kitchen?
Shorten her chain.
A man was sitting on a blanket at the ocean beach. He had no arms & no legs.
Three women, the first from England, the second from Wales and the third from
Ireland, were walking past the poor man feeling sorry for him.
The English woman said: "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave
him a nice warm hug and walked on.
The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave
him a gentle kiss and walked on.
The Irish woman came to him and said: "Av ya ever been fooked before, Laddie? The
man broke into a big smile and said, "No I haven't."
She said, "Aye Lad, ya will be when the tide comes in."
A string of jokes I heard a while ago
How do you get four elephants in a mini cooper?
Two in the front, two in the back.
How do you get four giraffes in a mini cooper?
You can't because of all the elephants.
How do you get two whales in a mini cooper?
Same way you get to Wales in any other car, down the M4, over the Severn Bridge.
How can you tell if there's an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
How can you tell if there are two elephants in your fridge?
You can hear them giggle when the lights go out.
How can you tell if there are three elephants in your fridge?
You can't *quite* get the door closed.
How can you tell if there are four elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini cooper parked outside.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At a small London pub,
3 girls are chatting. An Englishman hears them and notices their distinctive accent that he so easily recognizes. He approaches then smoothly and asks: "are you girls from Scotland?"
In a condescending tone, one of them turns around and says: "It's Wales, idiot!"
"Oh I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy is sitting at a bar...
and he hears a few women at the far end of the bar. They sound like they are from the UK so he looks over and sees 3 enormous, fat women. he walks over and asks:
"so are you 3 women from Scotland?"
"Wales"
"oh, im sorry. so are you 3 whales from Scotland?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American visiting the U.K .......
has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn't help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland?
They sneer at him and the one says it's Wales!
So the man says my apologies. ….Are you whales from Ireland?
Three "plus size" women walk into an Irish bar, and order 3 Bwrz Fynt's
The bartender says, "I can't understand what you said."
One of the girls says, "I'm sorry, we're from Wales."
The bartender replies, "That explains everything."
2 Big Old Gals Were Sitting In A Bar
A man heard them talking and noticed a foreign accent. He asked "are you ladies from Ireland?"
"WALES!!" they both replied
"Oh I'm so sorry!.... Are you two Whales from Ireland???"
An American couple are on holiday traveling through Wales
On their way they see a sign for a place called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and decide to head there for something to eat. As they make their way there they debate the pronunciation of the town's name.
They stop for lunch and one tourist asks the cashier, Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? The Cashier nods.
Would you please pronounce where we are for us – very slowly?
The cashier leans over the counter and says, Buurrrrgerrrrr Kinnnnggg.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was in a bar when...
I was in a bar in London throwing back brewski's when these two larger women walked in. They both had strong accents so I asked.
*"Are you two ladies from Scotland?"*
One of the ladies turned to me and said,
*"It's Wales you idiot"*
I must've been so drunk that I didn't notice so, I immediately apologized and said,
*"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"*
Don't remember much else.
A large marine mammal was recently in Cardiff. It had a Wales of a time.
Why was there a whale in Wales in a well?
We're not sure, its a deep subject....
Interesting accents!
3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"
One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"
The bartender says, "Okay, fine. Are you whales from Scotland?"
A Teacher in Wales got arrested
They found a pencil, a ruler and a geometry set square. Allegedly he was part of the Al-gebra network and purchased "weapons of math instruction"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was at the bar one night...
He had a few too many when he saw three obese girls come up to the bartender and order some drinks. The man noticed they had strong accents, which grabbed his attention.
The women were there for a while and were quite loud and a bit rude. Feeling rather buzzed, the man looked over to the girls and said "Hi, um, are you girls from Scotland?" One of them spoke up, with a loud, n**... attitude and said "It's WALES you idiot!!!"
The man apologized with a little slur and said "I'm so sorry, are you Whales from Scotland?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I'm at a bar, and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me.
I ask, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Scotland??"
One yells back, "It's WALES you idiot!"
I reply, "Oh, of course. My bad! Are you two whales from Scotland?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...
and says to them:
"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"
Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"
Grandpa's joke last night.
Two heavy set women are talking by the bar.
The bartender says "You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?" One of them women goes "No, Wales."
The bartender replied "Are you whales from Scotland?"
Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were in my younger brothers school for a basketball game and everyone was in earshot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Welshmen call a sheep dog in Wales?
Their p**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girls from England?
A guy walks into a bar and hears two women speaking in a British accent. He asks, "Are you ladies from England?" One says to him "No, it's Wales, you idiot!" So, then the guy says, "Okay, sorry. So, are you two whales from England?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do you find a man with an aquatic mammal f**...?
In Wales.
A trip to Wales.
A couple are driving through Wales late one night and they pass through Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwilllantysiliogogogoch. With nothing much else to do , they start arguing over the pronunciation. Eventually they decide to stop somewhere and ask a local. They pull up somewhere and go inside, and ask the staff member "excuse me, could you pronounce the name of this place, really slowly?"
The kid behind the counter gives them a confused look, and says "burr-gurr kiiiiing"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the number one best selling s**... toy of all time in all of Wales?
Velcro gloves
Where did Jonah live?
Wales. Yes it's bad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Countries I can't believe Japan have not attacked:
Wales
How Do Jewish Baleen Wales Eat?
They gefilter fish.
An Englishman walks into a pub in London
As he approaches the bar he hears two women speaking with heavy accents.
"Are you ladies from Scotland?" He asks.
"It's Wales, actually!" One of the woman replies.
"Sorry." says the man "Are you whales from Scotland?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do they promote safe s**... in Wales?
They put signs next to the sheep that kick
Two friends are visiting Wales
Two friends are visiting Wales when they come to the town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. They are arguing about how to pronounce it, so they decide to go to the fast food restaurant that they are near, and ask the cashier to pronounce the town name.
They ask the cashier "Where am I? Pronounce it slowly for us please."
The cashier replies, "Buurrrrr-guuuurrrrr kiiiiing"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was sitting in a bar...
A man was sitting in a bar when he noticed two ladies speaking in an English accent across from him. He went to them and asked:
"Are you ladies from England?"
The ladies said "It's wales you idiot"
The man goes "Sorry. Are you two whales from England?"
Which country has the whitest mountains?
Wales - one of them is always Snowed On
Welsh pub
One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer.
All the other men in the bar looked at him and the bartender asked, "You're not from around here, are you lad?"
"No," replied the man, "I'm from London."
"So, boyo," said the bartender, "What do you do for a living then?"
"I'm a taxidermist." Replied the man.
"A taxidermist?" asked the barman, "What's one of them do?"
"Well," replied the man, "I mount animals."
The bartender then turned to all the other welshmen in the bar and said, "It's o.k. lads, he's one of us!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A person who illegally exports sheep is called an owler
Unless you are from Wales, then you are a s**... trafficker.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I'm in a bar and two large women with accents walk in and sit down.
I look over to them and say: "hey ladies, nice accents. Are you from Scotland?"
One of the ladies yells: "it's Wales, you idiot!!"
So I said: "Ok, that's cool. Are you two whales from Scotland?"
I don't remember much else.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a farm in Wales?
A brothel
Bonus:
What do you call a welsh sheepdog?
A p**....
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three women talking in what sounded like Scottish accent. So I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three ladies from Scotland? One of them turned red when she heard me and said, "It's Wales you fool! So I apologized and replied,
"I do apologise, Are you three whales from Scotland?"
cr
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Canadian walks into a bar
A Canadian walks into a bar and sees two large ladies. He asks, "are you two ladies from Scotland?"
The ladies, furious, reply, "Wales! Wales!"
The man turns back, "I apologise. Are you two whales from Scotland?"
A man walks into a bar
And sees 2 women sitting at a table so he asks "are you 2 women from Scotland?" They then say in response "no! Wales of course" he thinks a bit and says finally " sorry are you 2 whales from Scotland?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.
The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to c**...! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off
The Prince of Wales and the Duke of Edinburgh
The recent death of the Duke of Edinburgh reminded me of the time that Prince Charles went to open a school in Brixton in London. The Prince's speech went well, but people were distracted by his headwear, which was a Davey Crockett-type hat made from fox fur, with the fox's tail hanging down at the back. After the ceremony the headmaster thanked Charles and said, "I couldn't help noticing what you were wearing on your head ...?"
"Ah yes", said Charles, "That was Daddy's idea. He asked where I was going today, then he said 'Brixton? Wear the fox hat'".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
at the bar…
MAN: Hello ladies, love your English accents…
WOMAN 1: They're Welsh accents.
MAN: Well, may I buy you Welshland ladies a drink?
WOMAN 2: It's *Wales*, you idiot!
MAN: Sorry, may I buy you two *whales* a drink?
A supposedly true story
One day, in Great Britain, two Muslim schoolgirls were chatting away to each other in a foreign language on a public bus. The man sitting in front of them turned around and said, "This is England. Speak English." The woman in front of him turned around and said, "Actually, this is Wales and they're speaking Welsh."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cop walks over to a bruised and beaten man outside of a pub.
He asks the man what happened and the man tells him this; "So I walk into the pub and sit down and as im waiting for my drink I overhear two large women talking with a strange accent. So I ask them 'Are you two ladies from Ireland?' One of them scoffs and tells me "it's Wales d**...." So I ask again 'are you two whales from Ireland?' And thats about all I can remember."
Whilst driving through Wales with my pal, we stopped off at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch for lunch.
I asked the waitress, "Could you settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very slowly?" The waitress replied, "Burr gerr King!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents.
A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents. He approaches them and says, "By any chance, are you two ladies from Ireland?" "It's Wales, you idiot," one snaps back at him. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Ireland?
Two ladies in a pub in attract the attention of a fellow down the bar with their accents.
Two ladies in a pub in attract the attention of a fellow down the bar with their accents.
"Ah, tourists eh? Do you girls want to hear a joke about Scotland?"
"It's Wales actually."
"Alright. Do you whales want to hear a joke about Scotland?"
A Englishman walks into a bar...
He walks over to two women sitting near the bar and says, "Are you two ladies from England?"
"Wales.", replies the one woman.
So the man says, "Pardon me, are you two whales from England?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish man in Dublin
An Irish man, enjoying a pint of Guiness in a pub in Dublin when he approaches a couple of very fat girls with british accent:
- Hi ladies! Are you from England?
- No! Wales!
- Hi whales! Are you from England?
