Waiting Movie Jokes
54 waiting movie jokes and hilarious waiting movie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about waiting movie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Waiting Movie Short Jokes
Short waiting movie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The waiting movie humour may include short waiting room jokes also.
- Have you heard about that new movie Constipation? Oh wait - it hasn't come out yet!
*ba dum tss* - How to not feel alone Step 1: wait until its 1 am
Step 2: dim the lights
Step 3: watch a horror movie
Step 4: enjoy the feeling of not feeling alone! - I can't wait I can't wait to watch that one movie 2012. If I'm with kids, I'll say yeah, I remember that. I barely survived. I'm glad we rebuilt.
- The Grave of the fireflies was such a good movie.. Can't wait more to watch the second part.
- Did you hear about the blondes who were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They were waiting for "Closed For The Winter" to start.
- Can't wait for the next Jason Bourne movie. I heard he becomes a Christian and starts a church for ex-treadstone agents... It's called Bourne Again
- I love seeing presidents portrayed in movies can't wait to see Umpa Lumpas back for the next few years
- So apparently Pun was a movie from 1998. Wait, scratch that, it's actually a play on words.
- I can't wait for this weekend's big Sci-Fi Rom-Com movie opening... Star Wars: When Hairy Met Solo
- I hear the new Star was movie will include a Hispanic Jedi Knight. I can't wait to see Obi Juan Kenobi make his first on-screen appearance.
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Waiting Movie One Liners
Which waiting movie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with waiting movie? I can suggest the ones about waiting in line and long wait.
- did you hear about that new movie called constipation? i can't wait for it to come out!
- Has anyone seen the movie Constipated? Wait, it's not out yet.
- Did you see the new movie called Constipated yet? Oh wait. It didn't come out yet.
- I can't wait for the new Minecraft movie. It will probably be a blockbuster.
- Nah, I won't read the dictionary I'll just wait for the movie
- I can't wait to see the new Star Wars movie in May! I heard its about Chewbacca
- Stop watching the remake of the the clown movie on your phone while driving "It" can wait
- Just watched the Moana movie and can't wait for the sequel Moana: The Empire Strikes
- Wait until the movie starts to eat your popcorn Its hungry too
- There's a movie coming out soon about h**...... I can't wait to see the trailer.
Waiting Movie Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about waiting movie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean watching movie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make waiting movie pranks.
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
What We Learn From the Movies:
It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking.
No one involved in a car chase, h**..., e**..., volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
The zookeeper and the penguins
A zookeeper drives to the airport to pick up a group of penguins that are coming to live at the zoo. Midway through the drive back, though, the van breaks down. The zookeeper calls AAA, who says that they'll be out to help in a couple of hours.
After a few minutes, a man passing in his car stops to ask if he can help.
"Actually, yes!" says the zookeeper. "I'm going to be stuck here for a few hours while I wait for help. If you could take these penguins to the zoo for me, I'd be so grateful."
The man agrees, and the two of them bundle the penguins into his car.
"Thank you so much!" says the zookeeper, and hands the man a $20 for his trouble. The man drives off, and the zookeeper sits down to wait. Two hours later, he's surprised to see the man return, still with all the penguins in the car.
"What happened?" he asks. "I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!"
"I did!" says the man. "And they had a terrific time. But now they want to go to the movies, and I need some more money."
A Texan's three daughters have a date tonight...
(This joke is especially good live with you miming the actions and doing onomatopoeia - )
A Texan's triplet daughters are going to their first date tonight, so he stands behind their door waiting for their dates to show up.
The first guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thar?"
He stammers "H-hi! My name's Louie, I'm here to get Ruthie and we're going to the movies."
Tex calls Ruthie down and they leave.
The second guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thyar?"
He winces "Hi! My names Freddie, I'm here to get Betty and we're gonna get spaghetti. Is she ready?"
Tex calls Betty down and they leave.
The third guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thar?"
He waves, "Hi! My name's Chuck..."
\> ***BLAM!****!****!*** <
OJ
OJ Simpson has been in a lot of movies, but I bet he's still waiting for his breakout role.
One time I took a blonde girl to the movies...
We bought our tickets and waited in line for snacks. I got popcorn; she got M&M's. We got a drink to split.
We sat down during the previews. I started eating my popcorn and she opened her M&M's and dumped them all out in her lap. She carefully separated them all by color, took all the brown ones, and threw them in the trash.
"What was that about?" I asked as she returned to her seat.
She smiled and replied "Oh, I'm allergic to chocolate so I always throw the chocolate flavored ones away."
A joke told by my Polish grandmother....
Two Russian policemen are walking down the road on patrol when they encounter a penguin crossing the street. One says to the other, "One of us should get him and take him to the zoo."
The other volunteers, tells the first to wait until he returns, picks up the penguin and heads off down the street. The first officer stands waiting for half an hour...an hour...two hours...finally after almost three hours, the second policeman comes back still holding the penguin.
The officer who stayed is exasperated, "What took you so long and why do you still have the penguin? Was the zoo closed?"
"No," the second replied, "it was open. We had a very nice time. I'm think I'm going to take him to the movies now."
What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?
*Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*
I was waiting outside the movie theater to buy some tickets, when a pregnant woman walked over and hit me in the face.
"Ow!" I yelled. "Why did you do that?!"
"Oh, so sorry." She replied. "I thought this was the punchline."
"Was that supposed to be a joke?!" I asked.
"Yep, guess I need to work on the delivery." And then she went into labor.
A married couple with children made a code word for s**.....
The code phrase is "Typing a letter".
So on a Friday movie night, the husband is in the mood and asks his wife around their children, "would you like to type some letters tonight?". The wife says they're watching a good movie, maybe tomorrow.
Saturday comes and the husband is now in heat, all day keeps asking to "type". Finally at night as the kids are tucked in, the wife softly asks, "I'm sorry for making you wait, do you wanna type the letter now, honey?", to which the husband replies:
"Forget it, it's been handwritten."
What did the programming languages think about the database movie?
They couldn't wait to see the SQL!
An attractive woman asked me if I wanted to see a movie yesterday.
She said what would you like to see.
I said you pick.
She said you pick.
I said I don't care you pick.
She said, Sir there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets.
A hot girl asked me if i wanted to watch a movie
Yesterday, a hot girl asked me if I wanted to see a movie
She asked, "What would you like to see?"
I said, "You pick".
She said, "You pick".
I said, "I don't care, you pick".
She said, "Sir, there are other people waiting in line to buy tickets."
A hot girl asked me whether I wanted to see a movie.
She said, "Which movie would you like to see?".
I said, "You pick".
She said, "No you pick".
I said, "I don't care, you pick".
She said, "Please decide fast sir, there are other people waiting to buy tickets".
[A forward that I received from my SO today]
Alex Ovechkin invites Sidney Crosby over to watch a movie
Crosby sits down in the theater room, and waits for Ovechkin. Ovechkin finally walks in, and is drinking a cup a water. Crosby says "Hey can i get something to drink?". Ovechkin responds sorry I only have one cup.
I'm still waiting for the spiderman movie
Where spiderman falls and gets stuck in the bath for a week
Now that those Thai kids are out of the cave,
I can't wait for the movie version where they're all played by those kids from Stranger Things.
What do Marvel movies and Billy Mays have in common?
They both are like, "But wait, there's more!"
I can't wait to hear the big song from the new Mary Poppins movie...
SuperCapitalisticallyExploitingOldNostalgia
Yesterday, a beautiful girl asked me whether I wanted to watch a movie. She said, What do you want to see?
Me: You pick.
Her: You pick.
Me: I don't care which movie. You pick.
Her: Sir, there are people behind you in line waiting to buy tickets.
My favorite movie is Eraserhead by David l**....
I'm still waiting for the sequel, Pencilbutt.
(Yeah, probably the worst joke I've ever come up with in my life. .\_.)
It was going to be a long road trip. I popped on my headphones, pulled up a movie on my phone, and got lost in the action as the car headed down the highway.
The passengers probably wished that I'd waited until I wasn't driving to do that.