The Best 35 Waiter Waiter Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Waiter Waiter jokes. There are some waiter waiter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these waiter waiter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Waiter Waiter Jokes and Puns

My boss: You're fired.

Me: *turns in gun and badge*

My boss: You're a waiter where did you get those

I just saw my Chinese waiter give my order to someone who looks nothing like me. I get it now.

Oh wait, my bad. That wasn't my waiter.

A man walks into an Indian restaurant.

The waiter asks, have you ever ordered here before?

The man replies, No, I haven't.

The waiter continues, We're a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form, and he hands a piece of paper to the man.

The man squints at the paper and reads the single sentence, We have naan at this restaurant. The man looked up, puzzled, and asked why he needed to sign this worthless statement.

The waiter replied, impatiently, Just sign the naan disclosure agreement and we can move on.

He got the order wrong

Why did the customer get upset at the waiter?

Two Karens are out having dinner

The waiter stopped by their table and said "is anything ok?"


Two Karens are having lunch together

The waiter stops by and asks "Is anything okay?"

People say being a waiter is a bad job...

... but, hey, it puts food on the table.

A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining

And says "ladies, is anything ok?"

In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters

Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"

Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."

Waiter: "I'm sorry?"

Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."

After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.



"Certainly," he replied.



I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"

A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...

Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?

Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?

Man: Will you just try the soup.

Waiter: Is it too hot?

Man: Will you just try the soup

Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?

Man: Will you just try the damned soup son

Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...

Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!

Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.

Man: Exactly.

You can explore waiter waiter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean waiter waiter dad jokes. There are also waiter waiter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


being a waiter may not be a very glamorous job

but at least it puts food on the table

"What makes you qualified to be a waiter"

I feel like I bring a lot to the table

Taste the soup

A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.

The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...

-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.

-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!

The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!

her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please.

**waiter:** of course

**me:** it didn't say it had nuts

**her:** I'm allergic, so I tell them to be safe

**me:** that makes sense

**waiter:** and for you?

**me:** steak, no bees, please.

Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the waiter asked if I'd like to hear today's special.

I said yeah

He said, today is special.

I said, I can appreciate a good dad joke, but can you tell me about the menu please.

The waiter slams his notebook down on the table, and says, sir the men I please is my own private business.





**EDIT**

Thank you for the awards!!

Wife: I am having an affair

Me:
*handing the menu to the waiter*
-I'll have the affair as well.

A tennis ball walks into a restaurant....

a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"

A man spits out his coffee

"This tastes like mud!" he said.
"Well of course. It was just ground this morning" replied the waiter.


Husband: "Waiter, my wife spilled her water".

Waiter: "No problem, I'll get you another one".
Husband: "Make sure the next one likes sports".

Just went to a BBQ place..

Me: I'll have 6 ribs please

Waiter: We only serve those in quantities of 3, 5, 7, or 13.



Turns out it was prime rib.

I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery...

He thanked me.

You know how in restaurants they often ask you if you prefer bottled water or tap water?

In Flint, the waiter asks you, "Regular or Unleaded?"

Jesus and the 12 apostles walk into a restaurant

and Jesus says to the waiter:

-- Table for 26 please.

-- But there's only 13 of you?

-- Yeah, but we wanna sit all on one side.

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer.

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table...

The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"

They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"

a roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter,

five beers, please

I wnet to an Indian restaurant and ordered biryani...

The waiter said, sorry sir, I don't know what a birlaurel is.

I wouldn't say Scotsmen are cheap but...

A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in The world. After the meal their waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just gae the check to me".

Headlines in the local newspaper next day read: "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant for the Last Supper.

Jesus: "Table for 26 please"
waiter: "But there are only 13 of you"
Jesus:"Yes but we all want to sit on the same side!"

I went out for a nice meal one day when the waiter asked...

"How would you like your steak, sir?" "The same way I like my sex," I replied. He smiled and said, "So, rare?"

The waiter came up to our table.

He said, "Can I take your order?"

I said, "Sure."

He said, "Thanks, I'm just really hungry."

To impress his date, Ron took her to a very chic Italian restaurant.

After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered for the both of them. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.



"That's the manager." said the waiter.

A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken.

The waiter says: Nothing special, we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die."

A man orders a pizza

A man orders a pizza. The waiter asks him: "Do you want your pizza cut in six or eight Pieces?" The man replies: "Six, i dont think i can eat eight"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the waiter waiter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working waiter waiter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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