Waiter Fly Jokes
40 waiter fly jokes and hilarious waiter fly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about waiter fly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Waiter Fly Short Jokes
Short waiter fly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The waiter fly humour may include short waiter jokes also.
- My teacher told me to tuck my shirt in. I said, "Why?"
"Because it *looks* like you've just had s**...," he said, zipping his trouser. - A guy goes to a restaurant and orders soup, Guy: "waiter what is this fly doing in my soup?"
*waiter looks at soup*: "it appears to be drowning sir " - "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." The waiter replies, "So sorry, sir. I'll take care of that," and puts a spider in the soup.
"Hopefully this won't take long." - A man calls over a waiter during his meal 'There is a fly swimming in my soup!' 'Look on the bright side Sir' replied the waiter 'If the portions weren't so generous he'd be wading'
- Guy in a restaurant spills some soup in his lap... He says, "Waiter! There's some soup on my fly!"
- In a restaurant: Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!! In a restaurant:
Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation. - Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Calm down sir, it's the near future and insects are our only sustainable protein source.
(cautionary joke) - A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter sets his plate down and he sees a fly in the bowl... So he asks the waiter, "What's this fly doing in my soup?"
The waiter responds, "The backstroke." - a fly and his prayer Atheist: What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Praying.
Atheist: Very funny. I can't eat this. Take it back.
Waiter: You see? The fly's prayers were answered. - I told my waiter, "There's a fly in my soup!" He said, "It's possible, the cook used to be a tailor."
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Waiter Fly One Liners
Which waiter fly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with waiter fly? I can suggest the ones about flying fish and fly swatter.
- My friend has a job where he keeps seeing flying saucers He's a very clumsy waiter
- What did the Venus fly trap say to the waiter? Excuse me, there's no fly in my soup.
- Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? It looks like the backstroke, sir.
- Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? Waiter: It appears to be the backstroke
- Waiter, I'll have what he's having. Ok sir. One fly in your soup. Anything else?
- "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?!?" "Same thing that bag is doing in your tea."
- Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?! Floating.
Waiter Fly Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about waiter fly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean excuse me waiter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make waiter fly pranks.
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
A man is eating at a restaurant, when he notices there's a spider in his soup. He calls over the waiter and complains.
"I'm deeply sorry, sir" the waiter replies "but the fly asked to take the day off".
There's a fly in my soup !
Man on holiday in Paris goes to a restaurant and orders his dinner. When the soup arrives he finds a fly in the soup.
He calls the waiter over, and mustering his best French says:
Garcon, voici le mouche !
The waiter looks at the soup for a moment and then replies (in his best English) :
Monsieur, it's "la mouche".
The man replies:
OK, have it your own way. But you must have incredible eyesight !
A man goes to a restaurant
And notices that there's a fly in his soup. He flags down a waiter and exclaims excuse me sir, there's a fly in my soup!
The waiter looks and responds well I'll be d**..., the chef said he ran out making raisin bread!
I was at bar in LA called 71Above. It is 71 floors up.
My buddy asks the waiter, Can we open the window? I just wanna feel the wind through my hair and the ground flying towards my face
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?"
Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream?
The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
Customer: "Waiter, waiter! What is this fly doing in my soup?"
Waiter: "The backstroke, I think."
A waiter was serving someone when they dropped a spoon...
So the waiter pulled a spoon out of his top pocket. The man questioned why the waiter had a spoon in his pocket and started eating his dessert. The waiter replied we did a study and it showed that 70% of customers drop spoons so it saves us time having one with us. The customer looked intrigued and asked the waiter why is there a piece of string hanging out of your fly. The waiter replied when we go to the toilet it saves us from washing our hands as we can hold our bits with the string . Then the man asked and how do you put it back in . The waiter replied with a spoon of course.
A waiter and a waitress collided at the kitchen door.
Plates went flying everywhere. The waiter & waitress just stared dumbfounded. Shortly after the chef came out and kicked each of them. They both got up, cleaned up the mess, and returned to serving customers.
Again they crashed a short while later. Then again they sat befuddled until the chef gave them each a kick. Again they resumed their duties. This repeated a couple more times.
Finally the manager came to ask the chef what why customers were complaining about long waits. The chef replied: "It's these new servers. They keep crashing & need to be rebooted each time."
A guy goes to a restaurant
and notices all the waiters had a spoon in their shirt pocket. He can't help but ask his waiter about the spoon and the waiter says: "Well, a Consulting Firm told us that having a spoon cuts the wait time when a patron drops theirs on the floor, we don't have to go all the way back and get another, just pull the one in our pocket"
The guy is amazed at the answer, but then notices the male waiters had a string coming out of the pants fly and asks his waiter about it.
"The same Consulting Firm -the waiter responds- said when we go pee, we waste so much time washing our hands that pulling it our with the string keeps us from having to handle it, and therefore we save time not having to wash our hands"
Our guy sees a flaw in this and asks the waiter "Well, the string works pulling it out, but how do you put it back in?" to which the waiter says:
"I don't know about the others, but I just use the spoon in my pocket"
Two spoons...
A man and his wife were seated in a restaurant, when the man noticed that all the waiters carried two spoons in their vest pocket.
Curious, the man asked their waiter the reason for this.
"Well, sir," the waiter explained, "an efficiency study conducted by the management determined that the most frequently dropped silverware item is a spoon. Therefore, all waiters carry two spoons so that the item can be instantly replaced."
As the waiter was offering the explanation to the couple, they noticed there was a string hanging out of the fly of his pants.
"What about that?" the man asked, discreetly pointing to the string.
"That, sir, is the result of another efficiency study." the waiter replied.
"When we need to go to the bathroom, we use the string to pull ourselves out and aim. Therefore, we do not have to stop to wash our hands."
"I understand how you can get yourself out and aim," the man said, "but how do you go about getting yourself back in?"
"I don't know about the other waiters, sir," the waiter replied, "but I use the two spoons!"
How many Atheists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
Why did the atheist cross the road? He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
Atheist: What's this fly doing in my soup? Waiter: Praying. Atheist: Very funny. I can't eat this. Take it back. Waiter: You see? The fly's prayers were answered.
Anyone else have funny jokes about Atheist? Random Fact: An Atheist "Invented" the light bulb. Also I found this jokes online.