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Waist Jokes

124 waist jokes and hilarious waist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about waist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the wittiest jokes about waist trainers, shirtless torsos and Rolexes. Learn why waist jokes are the height of humour and which ones will have you rolling on the floor laughing. Get ready to enjoy some of the funniest waist-related humour around.

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Funniest Waist Short Jokes

Short waist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The waist humour may include short belly jokes also.

  1. I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa. Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
  2. What do you call a belt made out of lobsters? A waist of good seafood
    I know it's bad but I heard it in a dream and had to share
  3. The other day I joined all my watches together to make a belt... ...but then I realised it was a waist of time.
  4. At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade
  5. I spent all morning gluing watches together to make a belt... It was a complete waist of time.
  6. Did you hear about the guy who spent six months making a belt out of watches? He said it was a waist of time.
    (as told to me last night by my 10 year old).
  7. I once attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt... I'll admit it was a waist of time.
  8. I decided to replace my belt with multiple watches connected together. It was a big waist of time.
  9. I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches... ...but then I realized it would be a waist of time
  10. I wish my wife looked at me the way my dog does. You know, waist-high with a bone in her mouth.

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Waist One Liners

Which waist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with waist? I can suggest the ones about navel and wrist.

  1. What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? A waist of time.
  2. Orion's Belt is a waist of space. Bad pun, I know. 3 star at best.
  3. Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Bad joke. Only three stars.
  4. I once tied all my watches to my belt Until I realised it was just a waist of time
  5. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
  6. How do you spot a rich Ethiopian? By the Rolex around his waist.
  7. I once made a belt out of $100 bills Turns out it was just a waist of money
  8. Orion's Belt is a waist of space Terrible joke... 3 stars
  9. What do you call a belt made of dollar bills? A waist of money.
  10. Bread is a lot like the sun.. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
  11. My dad spent all day putting a clock on his belt It was a waist of time
  12. I spent the afternoon making a belt out of herb; What a waist of thyme.
  13. Did you know that if you tie $100 bills to your belt... it's a waist of money?
  14. What do you call a cardboard belt? A waist of paper.
    --
    ^(Cr
  15. A cardboard belt is a waist of paper.

Paralyzed Waist Jokes

Here is a list of funny paralyzed waist jokes and even better paralyzed waist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married.
  • What do you call a gay man paralyzed from the waist down? Half fruit, half vegetable.
  • What has arms but can't move them? A small child paralyzed from the waist up.
  • My friend is paralyzed from the waist up Which is a blessing, cause he's a dancer.
  • I hope you don't mind me asking Sir, but is it hard being paralyzed from the waist down? "I don't mind you asking and to answer your question, you think it might be hard, but it never is"
  • What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? Marriage.
  • If a normal guy m**... is called "beating his meat"... ...does it mean when a guy paralyzed from waist down m**..., he's "beating his veggies"?
Waist joke, If a normal guy m**... is called "beating his meat"...

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Waist Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about waist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tummy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make waist pranks.

A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece

He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.
The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"
The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

A blonde crossing the road gets hit by a truck....

The truck driver jumps out to check on her.
Are you all right? he asks.
Everything is just a blur, says the blonde as she's lying in the street.
The man holds his hand in front of her face and asks, How many fingers have I got up?
Oh, no! she yells. Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down too!

What do you call a belt made of paper?

A waist of paper. *knee slap*

Grandpa's Rocking Chair

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your goober is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

A boy finds his Grandfather sitting out on the porch completely n**... from the waist down.

And he says, "Grandpa, where are your pants?"
The old man replies, "It was your Grandmother's idea. Yesterday I complained about having a stiff neck after sitting out here shirtless, so she suggested I stay out here pantsless before bedtime."

Stiff....

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma`s idea!"

Northeast Weather

I just got off the phone with my friend in Boston. He said that since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just staring. He said, if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

If you wear a radioactive belt...

...you end up with nuclear waist.

My friend does a weekly bad joke Tuesday... Today's was quite good (Bad?)

Yesterday, I made a belt out of old watches. What a complete waist of time.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time
*door closes on way out*

I tried to make belt out of watches...

...but it was just a waist of time.

A man and wife are in bed, when...

...when the man slides his hand slowly across her shoulders, across her waist, under her neck, under her back, & suddenly stops...
Wife: " ( In a romantic voice) Why did u stop?"
Man: "(Whispering) I found the remote. You can go back to sleep"

Yesterday I wanted to connect a couple of watches together to build a belt to hold my pants

But I figured it would be a waist of time.

I once made a belt out of herbs.

It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme.

I've always dreamed of making a belt out of watches...

but everyone always tells me it'd just be a waist of time.

Hooking a clock on your belt

It would just be a waist of time.

I attached all my watches together into a belt today.

It's a complete waist of time.

So many people try to be hip

To me it is kind of a waist

Decided to take all my old watches and join them together to make a new belt...

turned out to be a waist of time.

I tried to use a watch as a belt

But it's just a waist of time

I tried to get an hourglass figure...

...but then I realised it would just be a waist of time.

I'm trying to invent a belt made of clocks

But my friends keep telling me it's a waist of time

Why the different branches of the military can't work together:

The reason why the services don't get along? They don't speak the same language. For example, if you tell a soldier to "Secure the building." he's going to set up claymores and machine gun nests with interlocking fields of fire. If you tell a Marine to "Secure the building." he's going to pie every room with his rifle in his hands and his Ka-bar on his waist. If you tell a sailor to "Secure the building." he's going to lock all the doors and windows and put all the sensitive documents in a furnace. If you tell an airman to "Secure the building." he's going to sign a lease agreement with an option to purchase.

I tried to make a belt by attaching all of my old wristwatches together.

It was a waist of time.

Catholic

Three old Catholic men and one old Catholic woman were sitting a a table one morning. The first old man said, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room people say Father." The second old man said, "My son is a Bishop, when he walks into a room people say Your Eminence." Third old man says, my son is the Pope, when he walks into a room people say Your Holiness." The old woman says,"My daughter has a 42 inch chest and a 24 inch waist, when she walks into a room people say 'JESUS'."

If you don't eat that, it will go to waste.

If you *do* eat it, it will go to waist.

I spent 2 hours today making a belt out of used watches.

What a waist of time.

Trump, Putin, and Kim Jong Un are walking through the jungle

They all trip and fall into a pit of quicksand. A sign next to the pit reads, "the more you lie, the faster you sink." Kim Jong Un is up to his neck, and Putin is at his waist. Trump appears to be perfectly calm and not sinking at all. Putin asks how this is possible. Trump replies, "I'll be alright. I'm standing on Sean Spicer."

When batman doesn't use his utility belt

Its just a waist of equipment

How do you recognize a rich Ethiopian?

He wears a Rolex around his waist.

I made a belt out of $20 bills.

It's a waist of money.

Yesterday I spent all day making a belt out of watches...

It was a waist of time.

The thinner you are, the less you contribute to pollution.

Because less waist.

Ever wondered why bread is just like the sun?

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist

My brother has been working on a belt with a built in digital clock.

Talk about a waist of time.

I woke up this morning and was shocked to see my body below my waist was horse like...

Now, I am the centaur of attraction.

A child ask his mother: "Did you know our maid was an angel?"

Mom: Why do you say that?
Child: Well yesterday she was in the kitchen with both her hands in the air and she was screaming : "Oh my God, I'm coming, I'm coming!"
If dad wasn't there to hold her waist, she would have gone straight to heaven!

I met this beautiful woman at the bar last night. She had an hourglass figure

It didn't work out in the end. Guess it was a complete waist of time.

My overweight uncle spend months making a belt out of used pocket watches.

When he finished it, he realized it was a huge waist of time.

I thought about getting myself a watch so long I could wear it as a belt

But I guess it'd be such a waist of time

Orion's belt is a big waist of space

Okay, I'm sorry, that was a terrible joke. Only three stars.

I bought a belt with a clock as a buckle.

When I put it on I couldn't read it.
What a waist of time!!!!

A man was helping his friend clean out his garage.

He noticed an amazing looking belt in the garbage can. It was black, with numerous stars and galaxies etched into it in intricate detail.
"Why are you throwing this out?" He asked.
His friend replied, "It is just such a waist of space."

Why is a waist called a waist?

Another pair of b**... could have easily fit there

Imagine making a belt out of a bunch of $100 bills tied together

That would be a huge waist of money.

After a horrible accident, I woke up in the hospital with a s**... nurse standing over me. She explained to me sympatheticly, You may not feel anything from the waist down. I nodded and groaned, "I understand."

So I felt her b**...…

Man in bed with his wife... Slides his hand slowly across her shoulders... across her waist.. under her neck... below her neck... under her back.. & suddenly STOPS! Wife: (in a romantic voice) "Why did you stop?"

Man: "Got the remote, you can go back to sleep."

Beer is just like the suns journey.

It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

The Orion's Belt constellation is so s**...

Personally I think it's a waist of space

I spent over 3 hours making a belt out of herbs, but in hindsight...

it's just a waist of thyme.

Why dont people wear watches on their belts?

Because it would be a waist of time.

I made a belt out of herbs ...

what a waist of thyme.

I made a belt with a watch as the buckle

Turned out to be a waist of time.

Two cannibals meet one day.

The first cannibal says, You know, I just can't seem to get a tender m**.... I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender.
The second cannibal asks, What kind of m**... do you use?
The first replies, You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around their waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.
Ah, ha! the second cannibal replies, No wonder… those are friars!

Two English gentlemen are fishing on a boat

As they are both fishing in silence, as gentlemen do, the one gets a big pull on his line. After a fair amount of fighting, he pulls a beautiful mermaid out of the water. As he is holding her, he looks at her head to tail: top half woman, and from the waist down fish.
The mermaid looks at him straight in the eye with an amorous look. Then, without saying a word, he drops her back into the water.
His friend, in complete disbelief, exclaims: "But why?"
To which the first replies: "But how?"

So today I had an idea for an invention because I was bored. A belt made out of watches.

After I finished connecting the watches to one another I realized something.
It was a big waist of time.

I spent the whole day combining all of my wristwatches to make a belt.

It was a complete waist of time.

I attached all my watches together to make a belt

… what a waist of time that was

A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.

"Grandpa, what are you doing?" the man exclaims. The old man looks off in the distance and does not answer his grandson. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asks again. The old man slyly looks at him and says, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

If someone takes their watch off their arm and interlocks it with enough other watches to use it as a belt, what do you call it?

A waist of time.

Waist joke, If someone takes their watch off their arm and interlocks it with enough other watches to use it as

jokes about waist