Wagon Jokes
65 wagon jokes and hilarious wagon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wagon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These Wagon Jokes offer a humorous look at the different types of wagons, from station wagons to G Wagons to covered wagons to paddy wagons, and even classic wagon wheels. With jokes about cars and vans too, these hilarious wagon jokes will have you rolling in laughter.
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Funniest Wagon Short Jokes
Short wagon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wagon humour may include short wheel jokes also.
- That has got to be the worst painting of a wagon I have ever seen "It's a horse-drawn carriage", replied the artist.
- My uncle has a horse that's a very good artist! He can only draw carriages, carts, and wagons, but that's good for a horse...
- I used to have a job transporting addicts to the nearby rehab clinic. But I got fired because too many of my passengers fell off the wagon.
- I heard Roy Moore fell off the wagon after losing on Tuesday... Several sources claim he was heard repeatedly asking for a decent 15 year old Brandy.
- Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail? It was important not to fall off the wagon.
- Coronavirus is much older than we knew My great great grandparents came West in a Covid wagon
- A large wagon contaning menthol mints has crashed and shed it's load over the highway. Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 4 miles.
- A food truck rodeo is a lot like the game The Oregon Trail You circle your wagons.
You trade money for food.
And it usually ends with dysentery. - What happened to the pregnant woman in labour who failed to board the horse wagon in time? She suffered a miss-carriage.
- Today I got behind the slowest black station wagon ever It was driving so slow and bad the other lane was going off the road and everyone behind it was crying. Glad I passed it
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Wagon One Liners
Which wagon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wagon? I can suggest the ones about ride and tractor.
- Back before the train was invented, We had to run a wagon on your mom.
- How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
- What do you call Bruce Lee pulling a Radio Flyer? Enter the wagon.
- Your Mom is sooooo old... Guys used to run a wagon on her.
- Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car... It's called the Volts Wagon.
- What kind of food truck serves hamburgers? A patty wagon
- When does a dog have wheels? When its tail is a wagon.
- If someone named Patricia owns a station wagon... ...Does that make it a patti-wagon?
- You're so old that your first car was a covered wagon.
- A wagon driver and a trucker both broke expensive items It was the assphalt!
- I call my car the p**... Wagon' Because that's where I go to cry.
- Why did the wagon train get stuck in the pass? i**... trouble
- What do you call a sketchy s**...' wagon? A rapey escapey
- Pao s**.... Don't mind me, I'm just jumping on the hate wagon.
Covered Wagon Jokes
Here is a list of funny covered wagon jokes and even better covered wagon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Cameron, Merkel, and Holland are releasing a new cover version of three wheels on my wagon
- My wife hate pioneers... She says they were the only ones s**... enough to invent covered wagons and Dutch ovens.
Little Red Wagon Jokes
Here is a list of funny little red wagon jokes and even better little red wagon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
Gather Around for Fun Wagon Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about wagon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vehicle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wagon pranks.
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
A Fireman See's a Little Girl
that has her own homemade firetruck with her dog and a red wagon.He says to the little girl, "That's a nice looking firetruck little missy!" She then says, "Thank You!" He keeps checking it out when he notices that the rope that's tied to the wagon is tied to the dogs t**....He tells the little girl, "Sweetie, I think your firetruck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied to the dogs neck." She replies, "Oh I know that Sir!But then it wouldn't have a siren!"
A little girl lives next to a fire house...
She admires the fire fighters so much she makes her own firetruck. It consists of her wagon, with the team of her cat in front with a string tied to his t**..., and her dog which lacks the testicular string, however has a harness and reins for her to lead him with. The firefighters see it, and have to ask why the string on the cat. She replies "I need a siren too."
My friend told me this joke
It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon back up." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Nonsense, come on!" the farmer insisted. "Well, okay," the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is your Pa?"
"Under the wagon."
Cats and ladders
A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's t**....
"Little partner," the fire-fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Indian On The Road
I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says, "Heck no, they just ran me over".
Three men die and go to heaven
Three men die and go to heaven. They meet St. Peter at the gates.
St. Peter calls up the first man. He says, "Heaven's a big place. I'll give you a car. How nice the car is will depend on your faithfulness to your spouse on Earth. You were not very faithful. I will give you a station wagon."
St. Peter calls up the second man. He says the same thing. He gives the man a midsize car, because the man was pretty faithful to his spouse.
St. Peter calls up the third man. He repeats what he said before and gives this man a Ferrari because he was very faithful to his spouse.
One week later, the three men all meet each other at a stop light in heaven. The first 2 men notice that the third, in his Ferrari, is crying. They ask him why.
He replies, "I just passed my wife. She was riding a skateboard."
Tribal Wisdom
So a cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself "Wagon...two gray horses...two passengers, man and woman...man driving" The cowboy goes "Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?" The Indian replies "No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over."
I heard we like Native American jokes.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with
his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see
that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground.
He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says,
"about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white.
Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian
knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they
are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a
half hour ago."
A caring son
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "
Indian with his ear to the ground.
A man walking down a road happens upon an Indian with his ear to the ground.
"do you hear something?" the man asks.
The Indian says "a red wagon, two horses, family of five, heading north"
"you can tell all of that just putting your ear to the ground!? " the man asked.
"No, they just ran me over"
Did you hear the one about the snake with the wriggly hips?
Look, I'm sorry if I'm breaking a rule, but this has been bothering me for decades. From the comments in this sub, most of you have apparently heard every joke a million times before... ;) I thought maybe somebody's heard the punch line for this one...
In the late 80s, we had a CB in our station wagon. My mom was driving me to middle school one morning, and I did a radio check and found a trucker to talk to.
I told him a few tame kiddie jokes, he laughed, and then he said, "Have you heard the one about the snake with the wriggly hips?"
My mom took the speaker away from me and said, "Before you tell that joke, you should know that you're speaking to a ten-year-old girl."
The trucker said, "Oh..." and then went on to tell a different joke.
I have NEVER heard this joke since, or been able to find it online. It's come back to haunt me at random times, like today, so I thought I'd take a shot here. Anybody know this joke?
The firefighters dog
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"
Married farmer driving home on horses
A farmer and his brand new bride are riding home in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbles.
The farmer says, "That's once." A little further along, the horse stumbles again. The farmer says, "That's twice." When the old horse stumbles again, the farmer quietly reaches under his seat, pulls out a shotgun, and shoots the horse. His brand new bride yells, "That was an awful thing to do!" The farmer says, "That's once."
The Snail Salesman
The traveling snail salesman delivered snails to restaurants in his station wagon. After travelling and working for half the day, he stopped at a gas station for a cup of coffee. When he came out he found his car was no longer there. The snail salesman cried out "Where did my escargot cargo car go?!"
My local park doesn't allow wheeled vehicles inside.
Today a group of people are protesting this rule by driving a huge cart through the park. At first I didn't like the idea but I changed my mind and jumped on the banned wagon.
A t**... had two cases at home...
he stuffed one of them with explosives and headed to the metro. Once inside a wagon he waited until the doors were closed and shouted "Infidels!! now you will die!". Fortunately, that was not the case.
Penguins
A cop pulls over a station wagon for running a red light. When the officer gets up to the car, he sees a bunch of penguins in the back of the station wagon. He writes the driver a ticket and tells him, "I want you to take these penguins to the zoo!"
A couple days later the cop sees the same station wagon run the same red light. He pulls him over again. As he walks up to the car, he sees a beach ball and a bunch of penguins wearing sunglasses in the back. He tells the driver, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
The driver responds, "I did, Officer. Today I'm taking them to the beach!"
My dad told me this joke decades ago. Haven't seen it on here yet.
Horse race
A man has a racehorse who never won a race.
Man in disgust says," Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING"
The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
Two foot fetishist sit in the back of a p**... wagon
The first one said to the second one, I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Two cowboys are riding out when the spot an Indian laying down with his ear to the ground.
Approaching him, one Cowboy says Look here. These Indians can track wagons from miles away. You there, what can you tell about the closest wagon train?
The Indian says Large Conestoga wagon, father, mother, three daughters, headed due west at around two miles per hour .
Wow! Exclaimed the cowboys in unison. You can tell all that by listening to the ground?
Nuh-uh. Ran over me half an hour ago .
Yo momma so fat, they had to get 2 oxen to pull the wagon.
I'm a middle school social studies teacher and I thought I'd dial the yo mamma jokes back a few centuries!
You hear about the p**... wagon that collided with cement mixer Ed?
12 hardened criminals escaped.
Two cowboys ride up on an Indian that's lying on his belly with his ear to the ground.
The older cowboy turns to the younger ine and says, "You see that? Just by putting his ear to the ground he can hear what's coming from miles off."
The Indian lifts his head and says, "A full wagon, drawn by a single horse, two passengers and a dog."
The Indian puts his head back down and continues, "Heading east, about 3 miles away."
The young cowboy exclaims, "That's amazing!"
The Indian replies, "Yep. They ran me over a half hour ago."
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other
"You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!" The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
A man and his daughter are traveling through the countryside.
The man and his daughter are riding on a horse powered wagon with $10,000 on board. Suddenly a mugger runs up to them and says ,"Give me everything!". As the man and daughter watches the mugger ride off with their belongings, the man says, "Dang, there goes my $10,000" when his daughter taps him on the shoulder and says "Look pa, I managed to hide your money in my mouth! It's right here!". "Goly!" says the man. "If only your ma was here, we could have saved the House and wagon too!"
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."The farmer said, "That's once."
A farmer and his new bride
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."
The farmer said, "That's once." ( had to repost,missed the first half the first time.)
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
One day little Johnny was walking up a hill...
...pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F\*\*k this," "F\*\*k that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
"Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the f\*\*k out and push!!!"
