Vulture Jokes
69 vulture jokes and hilarious vulture puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vulture that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vulture Short Jokes
Short vulture jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vulture humour may include short bird of prey jokes also.
- A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- I wrote this joke, tell me what you think. A vulture was boarding an airplane but was stopped at the gate and told he couldn't board. They said his carrion was too large.
- A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, "I'm sorry, sir..." "...but you're only allowed *one* carrion."
- Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead rabbits. And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."
- What did the stewardess say when the vulture tried to board the plane with two dead raccoons? "Sorry, only one carrion per passenger."
- A vulture carried two dead raccoons onto an airplane. The flight attendant looked at him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane And the flight attendant says to him, "I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."
- A vulture goes to the airport and the agent says, Do you have any bags to check? The vulture says: No, just this carrion.
- A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture. The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"
He said "It's my carri-on luggage"
*sorry sorry sorry*
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Vulture One Liners
Which vulture one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vulture? I can suggest the ones about vaulter and eagle.
- I went on a scavenger hunt the other day. I shot a vulture.
- Why don't vultures check their luggage? They prefer carrion.
- Why do vultures find it easy to fly? They only ever have carrion baggage.
- What did the vulture bring on his flight? Carrion luggage.
- Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures? All their luggage is carrion.
- What kind of luggage does a vulture use for traveling? Carrion bags.
- Why did the vulture fly United Airlines? Because they allow 1 free carrion
- Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion.
- What type of luggage do vultures fly with? Carrion
- What does a vulture bring with him on the airplane? His carrion bag.
- What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane? Carrion.
- Did you hear about the vulture that became a priest? He's a bird of pray.
- What is a vulture's favorite song? Carrion My Wayward Son
- Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport? He wasn't allowed any carrion
- What do you call a group of superhero vultures? The Scavengers
Vulture Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about vulture you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean falcon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vulture pranks.
Lost vulture
A young vulture flew away from his home for a bit and got lost on his way back. His parents searched and searched, but they couldn't find him. About a week later, he finally finds his way home, and his parents are so happy that they have a huge feast. His father places a plate in front of him loaded with his favorite foods. He asks his father "What's all this?" His father replies "Carrion, my wayward son."
A vulture tries to get on an airplane
A vulture tries to get on an airplane with a raccoon under each wing.
The pilot stops him saying, "Sorry, you're only allowed one carry-on."
So a vulture is in line to board a plane...
and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."
A vulture boards a plane
A vulture boards a plane and sits in his seat. Almost immediately he pulls the smelliest, nastiest looking meat from a bag.
Seeing this the stewardess asks "sir, what is that?"
The vulture replies "oh this? It's just my carrion"
A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...
So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."
The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the next. Eventually the father relents, and agrees on a compromise. The young vulture could eat some vegetables, but only if he finished his meat first.
The following day, the young vulture asks what they will be eating that evening. The father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done."
Why didn't the airline passenger check his vulture?
Because it's a carrion bird.
Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?
#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*
A vulture boards a plane
Tired of flying himself, a vulture boards a plane carrying with him his lunch, a dead animal. The atendant notices and says, "Sir, we do not allow you to bring on dead animals." Quite surprised, the vulture says, "But I was told I could bring carrion luggage."
What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?
No, thanks, it's just carrion...
A Vulture Goes Through Customs at the Airport
So this vulture is returning home from an much needed overseas vacation. As she passes through the customs line one of the agents asks, "Do you have any checked luggage?" To which the vulture replies, "Nope, just carrion."
What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute?
Carrion.
A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane...
and the flight attendant says, "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion."
Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?
It was only allowed one piece of carrion.
We must follow our policy. . .
I was at the airport the other day to pick someone up but their flight was delayed so I wandered around a bit. I noticed a big scene at one of the airline check ins. there was this agitated vulture holding a couple of dead possums arguing loudly with a whole group of ticket agents. I kinda felt bad for the guy but the airline did have a one carrion policy.
A vulture tries to board a plane whilst carrying a dead rabbit under his wing.
The flight attendant stops him, shaking his head.
"Sorry sir, you can't bring that on here. No carrion."
Michael Keaton took roles like Batman, Birdman, and now the Vulture from the new Spider Man movie
I guess you can say he's a good wingman.
Why wasn't the vulture allowed on the plane?
He had too much carrion.
A vulture is at the airport...
He has an antelope carcass draped over his shoulder, at the check in kiosk the attendant asks if he will need to check in the antelope, to which the vulture replies, "No, it's carrion".
What did the vulture police officer tell the gathering crowd about the roadkill?
Carrion people
A man walks into an airport with a pet vulture
He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.
"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.
The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."
Why could the vulture not take two carcasses onto the plane?
Because he was only allowed one piece of carrion luggage.
The vulture dragged a dead goat onto the plane.
Don't worry, he said to the attendant. It's just my carrion.
A vulture decided to fly south for the winter...
He was horrified to learn that the airline would only allow one carrion per customer
A vulture walks up to the counter at the airport dragging a dead possum.
"Sir will you be checking any bags today?"
"Nope, just carrion."
A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.
"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
A vulture is walking down the jetway at the airport.
He has two dead badgers, one under each wing. The stewardess stops him and says, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."
A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.
With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.
"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.
"No, sorry, that's our carrion"
What did the stewardess say to the vulture when he boarded the flight with two bags?
Only one Carrion permitted on this flight.
A capricious vulture asked his father "Hey Dad, whatcha eating??"
"Carrion, my wayward son."
Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture board his flight?
The airline wouldn't let him check his carrion
A vulture is going through customs and the attendant asked if he has any baggage to check in.
The vulture says, No, just my carrion.
A vulture walked into an airplane,
dragging some mangled roadkill in its beak. The stewardess looks down in distaste, and asks Wouldn't you prefer to put that in the checked luggage compartment?
And the vulture said No thanks. It's carrion.
A vulture is picking at some roadkill on the street
A cop comes up to the vulture and shouts, "Hey! What are you doing?"
Startled, the vulture responds, "I'm just eating here."
"Oh," the cop says, "carrion"
