The Best 58 Vulture Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Vulture jokes. There are some vulture hawk jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these vulture terminal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Vulture Jokes and Puns

Lost vulture

A young vulture flew away from his home for a bit and got lost on his way back. His parents searched and searched, but they couldn't find him. About a week later, he finally finds his way home, and his parents are so happy that they have a huge feast. His father places a plate in front of him loaded with his favorite foods. He asks his father "What's all this?" His father replies "Carrion, my wayward son."

A vulture tries to get on an airplane

A vulture tries to get on an airplane with a raccoon under each wing.

The pilot stops him saying, "Sorry, you're only allowed one carry-on."

A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Vulture joke, A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.

So a vulture is in line to board a plane...

and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."

A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, "I'm sorry, sir..."

"...but you're only allowed *one* carrion."

A vulture boards a plane

A vulture boards a plane and sits in his seat. Almost immediately he pulls the smelliest, nastiest looking meat from a bag.

Seeing this the stewardess asks "sir, what is that?"

The vulture replies "oh this? It's just my carrion"

A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...

So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."

The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the next. Eventually the father relents, and agrees on a compromise. The young vulture could eat some vegetables, but only if he finished his meat first.

The following day, the young vulture asks what they will be eating that evening. The father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done."

Vulture joke, A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...

Did you hear about the vulture that became a priest?

He's a bird of pray.

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

Why didn't the airline passenger check his vulture?

Because it's a carrion bird.

Why didn't the airline refuse to allow the vulture to board his flight?

Because of the terrible smell coming from his carrion luggage.

You can explore vulture flight reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean vulture board dad jokes. There are also vulture puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?

#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.

*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*


What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible.

*cough* shameful *cough*

A vulture boards a plane

Tired of flying himself, a vulture boards a plane carrying with him his lunch, a dead animal. The atendant notices and says, "Sir, we do not allow you to bring on dead animals." Quite surprised, the vulture says, "But I was told I could bring carrion luggage."

What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane?


Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Vulture joke, Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

I went on a scavenger hunt the other day.

I shot a vulture.

A Vulture Goes Through Customs at the Airport

So this vulture is returning home from an much needed overseas vacation. As she passes through the customs line one of the agents asks, "Do you have any checked luggage?" To which the vulture replies, "Nope, just carrion."

What did the flight attendant say to the vulture who dragged two dead raccoons onto the flight?

I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion

What did the vulture take on his plane ride?

His Carrion.

What does a vulture bring with him on the airplane?

His carrion bag.

What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute?


A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane...

and the flight attendant says, "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion."

A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane

And the flight attendant says to him, "I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."

A vulture boards a plane...

...carrying with him two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion."

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

We must follow our policy. . .

I was at the airport the other day to pick someone up but their flight was delayed so I wandered around a bit. I noticed a big scene at one of the airline check ins. there was this agitated vulture holding a couple of dead possums arguing loudly with a whole group of ticket agents. I kinda felt bad for the guy but the airline did have a one carrion policy.

A vulture tries to board a plane whilst carrying a dead rabbit under his wing.

The flight attendant stops him, shaking his head.

"Sorry sir, you can't bring that on here. No carrion."

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

Why do vultures make good Brits?

Because they eat common carrion.

Why was the vulture kicked off of the airplane?

Because he ate a passenger's carrion!

When vultures fly... you think they bring carrion luggage?

Michael Keaton took roles like Batman, Birdman, and now the Vulture from the new Spider Man movie

I guess you can say he's a good wingman.

Why wasn't the vulture allowed on the plane?

He had too much carrion.

A vulture is at the airport...

He has an antelope carcass draped over his shoulder, at the check in kiosk the attendant asks if he will need to check in the antelope, to which the vulture replies, "No, it's carrion".

What did the vulture police officer tell the gathering crowd about the roadkill?

Carrion people

A man walks into an airport with a pet vulture

He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.

"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.

The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."

Why could the vulture not take two carcasses onto the plane?

Because he was only allowed one piece of carrion luggage.

What type of luggage does a vulture use?


The vulture dragged a dead goat onto the plane.

Don't worry, he said to the attendant. It's just my carrion.

What did the stewardess say when the vulture tried to board the plane with two dead raccoons?

"Sorry, only one carrion per passenger."

A vulture goes to the airport and the agent says, Do you have any bags to check?

The vulture says: No, just this carrion.

Life must be really fun for a vulture.

Every day is a scavenger hunt.

A vulture decided to fly south for the winter...

He was horrified to learn that the airline would only allow one carrion per customer

A vulture walks up to the counter at the airport dragging a dead possum.

"Sir will you be checking any bags today?"

"Nope, just carrion."

What did the vulture bring on his flight?

Carrion luggage.

Vultures always fly first class.

Move or they'll eat your carrion.

Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport?

He wasn't allowed any carrion

I wrote this joke, tell me what you think.

A vulture was boarding an airplane but was stopped at the gate and told he couldn't board. They said his carrion was too large.

A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.

"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."

A vulture is walking down the jetway at the airport.

He has two dead badgers, one under each wing. The stewardess stops him and says, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."

What kind of luggage does a vulture use for traveling?

Carrion bags.

A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.

With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.

"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.

"No, sorry, that's our carrion"

A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture.

The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"

He said "It's my carri-on luggage"

*sorry sorry sorry*

A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead rabbits.

And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the vulture carcass jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working vulture baggage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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