Vulture Jokes
54 vulture jokes and hilarious vulture puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about vulture that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Vulture Short Jokes
Short vulture jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The vulture humour may include short bird of prey jokes also.
- A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- I wrote this joke, tell me what you think. A vulture was boarding an airplane but was stopped at the gate and told he couldn't board. They said his carrion was too large.
- A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture. The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"
He said "It's my carri-on luggage"
*sorry sorry sorry* - Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture board his flight? The airline wouldn't let him check his carrion
- Michael Keaton took roles like Batman, Birdman, and now the Vulture from the new Spider Man movie I guess you can say he's a good wingman.
- A vulture decided to fly south for the winter... He was horrified to learn that the airline would only allow one carrion per customer
- What did the vulture police officer tell the gathering crowd about the roadkill? Carrion people
- What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute? Carrion.
- What did the flight attendant say to the vulture who dragged two dead raccoons onto the flight? I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion
- What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun? As far away as possible.
*cough* shameful *cough*
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Vulture One Liners
Which vulture one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with vulture? I can suggest the ones about vaulter and eagle.
- Why don't vultures check their luggage? They prefer carrion.
- Why do vultures find it easy to fly? They only ever have carrion baggage.
- Why did the vulture fly United Airlines? Because they allow 1 free carrion
- Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion.
- Did you hear about the vulture that became a priest? He's a bird of pray.
- What is a vulture's favorite song? Carrion My Wayward Son
- Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport? He wasn't allowed any carrion
- What do you call a group of superhero vultures? The Scavengers
- Why didn't the airline passenger check his vulture? Because it's a carrion bird.
- Why do vultures make good Brits? Because they eat common carrion.
- When vultures fly... ...do you think they bring carrion luggage?
- Why do vultures hate flying? Because they have to pay extra for Carrion!
Budum tsssss - Why was the vulture kicked off of the airplane? Because he ate a passenger's carrion!
- Why did Nigel buy the baby vultures a microwave? He heard they like to re-eat their food.
- Why don't vultures eat at restaurants? They don't allow carrion.
Vulture Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about vulture you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean falcon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make vulture pranks.
Lost vulture
A young vulture flew away from his home for a bit and got lost on his way back. His parents searched and searched, but they couldn't find him. About a week later, he finally finds his way home, and his parents are so happy that they have a huge feast. His father places a plate in front of him loaded with his favorite foods. He asks his father "What's all this?" His father replies "Carrion, my wayward son."
What did daddy vulture say when he caught the baby vulture eating a rotting warthog?
Carry on.
A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...
So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."
The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the next. Eventually the father relents, and agrees on a compromise. The young vulture could eat some vegetables, but only if he finished his meat first.
The following day, the young vulture asks what they will be eating that evening. The father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done."
Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?
#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went on a scavenger hunt the other day.
I shot a vulture.
We must follow our policy. . .
I was at the airport the other day to pick someone up but their flight was delayed so I wandered around a bit. I noticed a big scene at one of the airline check ins. there was this agitated vulture holding a couple of dead possums arguing loudly with a whole group of ticket agents. I kinda felt bad for the guy but the airline did have a one carrion policy.
A man walks into an airport with a pet vulture
He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.
"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.
The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Life must be really fun for a vulture.
Every day is a scavenger hunt.
I met a vulture trainer on a flight.
He said the birds travel better if you let them bring their carrion.
Why are vultures boycotting the airlines?
Why are vultures boycotting the airlines?
They keep raising the price of carrion.
A vulture walks into an airplane with a rotting corpse.
The flight attendant screams, You cannot bring that on this plane. The vulture says, It's just my carrion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vultures always fly first class.
Move or they'll eat your carrion.
A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.
"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.
With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.
"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.
"No, sorry, that's our carrion"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A capricious vulture asked his father "Hey Dad, whatcha eating??"
"Carrion, my wayward son."
A vulture walked into an airplane,
dragging some mangled roadkill in its beak. The stewardess looks down in distaste, and asks Wouldn't you prefer to put that in the checked luggage compartment?
And the vulture said No thanks. It's carrion.
A vulture is picking at some roadkill on the street
A cop comes up to the vulture and shouts, "Hey! What are you doing?"
Startled, the vulture responds, "I'm just eating here."
"Oh," the cop says, "carrion"
